Going to try keep this short and factual. Been seeing someone on and off since I was 18, I am now 31.
I would say over the past 13 years, he has definitely been more into it than I have been. I've enjoyed the sex, the company, I'm comfortable with him but have never really wanted to or been ready to go any deeper. He has made it clear and tried throughout the years to make it serious and claims he is in love with me.
He was just in a relationship for 10 months, however, they split and I met with him again. Had a great night, was like old times.
He messaged me since and was making conversation and then asked when he could see me again. We arranged for Wednesday night.
On Wednesday he text apologising saying that he had to work Wednesday night. I replied saying no worries, another time. No response.
Tried to get a hold of him a few more times over Friday and Saturday via WhatsApp and phone call. No response. His messages were then just showing one tick. I was concerned as he has NEVER stopped communication like this and found it very odd. So I contacted his recent ex - I probably shouldn't have but I assumed he was with her.
I was polite and just said I was trying to get in touch with him about something. She said she hadn't heard from him. End of conversation.
Tonight I got a message on Facebook. Messages have gone like this -
Him - Hello had to get a new phone, lost all my numbers. What’s going on, you were messaging exes name? I don’t know what for?
Me - Eh because you disappeared? Glad you’re fine.
Him - I had to work then my smashed my phone. I sent u a couple of messages (he didn't) aye sorry don’t like letting folk down.
Me - Fair enough, was just responding to your question about why I contacted exes name - was to check if you were okay. Assumed you’d be with her.
Him - Why would I be with her a told you I was working. I've no reason to lie or anything about my whereabouts, fair enough.
Me - I’d just rather people were honest rather than worrying about hurting my feelings. But yeah glad you’re okay. Hope work etc goes well for you.
Him - Completely honest in everything am saying, I don't know what am I not being honest about?
Me - Just everything, you’re clearly not into it. You’ve got a lot on your plate so will just leave you be
Him - Listen I am but aye, am just trying to have a low stress period. I was working on Wednesday and my phone broke that day. I wouldn’t lie so I have literally been chilling.
Me - fair enough. I won’t contact you again so you can have your low stress period.
Him - i never said that at all, I was wanting to see what happend with us. Still don’t understand why u would message exes name? These just aren’t things that I would do or expect someone to do.
Me - Yeah kind of have to actually see someone to see what happens. Why do you care if I messaged her? I’ll send you the messages, I literally asked if you were with her as I was worried. Like you were meant to be over at mines weds, you cancelled cause you were working. Fair enough. Then heard absolutely nothing from you despite messaging and I phoned you, you hadn’t been on Facebook. How was I to know that you had smashed your phone? You seem so concerned that I messaged her, not sure why, no bad intentions. If she’s causing drama about it then that’s on her. (Sent him screenshots of messages to ex)
Him - Alright, yeah so a managed to get on Facebook for 5 on Friday and just had hunners of messages from her. Aye it’s no really that bad, couldn’t message u as had u blocked from last time. Am no too concerned, it’s that a still respect her as a person so wouldn’t want her to think as soon as we split up me n u were on the go. It’s just the way a think it’s maybe wrong I don’t know.
Him - Aw never mind it’s generally nothing to talk about. Are ye alright anyway what u up to?
Me - It’s fine, I’m just feeling really insecure at the moment, don’t know what’s wrong with me just now. Anyway forget about it, all good.
Him - Aw don’t, you're doing good, I was just feeling sorry for myself when my phone broke. Sorry if I have brought that on, should have tried harder to get hold of you but was scunnered and down.
AIBU to think he's just not over his ex and isn't interested in me anymore? I feel like he's just repulsed by me after one night and has lost interest.