AIBU to ask 17 year old to bring some spending money

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DS, aged 17, part time at college, part time job, earns around £600 a month . Everything paid for at home , driving lessons, meals out, lots of treats , although does buy his own clothes although I get pants etc as basics. Already had an all inc holiday at Easter, even his own room, didn’t ask for any contribution from him.
We are heading to Greece this week, self catering, eat out every day . I have asked him to bring £250 towards his spending money . It’s not a cheap area and he eats and drinks as a grown man . He’s fuming, saying this isn’t what he got a job for. Impartial views please as we can’t agree on this , he’s usually really great full and not a brat so im wondering if im in the wrong for thinking £25 a day is unreasonable.

Well if he isn't willing to bring any spending money then he will have to drink tap water and bring some good books to read won't he?!!

My 12 year old brings his own spending money on trips!

It sounds like he is still in education and working pt on side. Lots of full time college courses are only 3 or 4 days contact a week with lots of time to be working too.
DD’s sixth form recommends no more than 10 hours but even at that some are making decent money especially if lifeguards or referees.

Tricky one, depends how much you are struggling for money yourselves. I’d like to think at 17 we’ll still have family holidays where we pay for it all but obviously very much depends on money.

I fully agree he needs spends for souvenirs, fancy drinks etc.
But sitting down for a family meal and asking for bill to be split seems odd, especially if you are paying for husband or younger siblings.

If you are self catering but choosing to eat out daily it’s probably just going to result in him not coming out with you (probably prefers to get a burger, pizza etc rather than a nice meal)
If you are expecting him to come out to eat and pay then he’ll need a say in where you pick to go.

I wouldn't be asking for contributions to meals etc, although if he always goes for the most expensive item, maybe put a limit on how much you are willing to pay.
I think if he is wanting ice creams, drinks, snacks etc it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to pay for some of that.

What exactly does he think a job is for if not for contributing/paying his way?

He needs his life made a little tougher or he's in for a shock.

Not being unreasonable at all! As a teen when I had a job my mum and dad took me on holiday and I had to provide my own spending money. They paid for most of the meals, but if I wanted snacks etc I paid for my own (except an ice cream/drink here and there). If I wanted souvenirs, I paid!

When you say part-time college is he less studying than a standard timetable? If he is, I'd be charging board for the element he's working.

With regards holiday, if you mentioned it at the time of booking that's the basis you booked and he accepted going with you and you have every right to ask for it. Otherwise, set a limit on drinks and snacks and he misses out on extras.

I wouldn't charge a 17 year old that was still in education for "basics". And basics, for me, would include everyday food and drink as part of a family holiday. If he wants souvenirs or luxuries, then fine to expect him to pay for them himself.

If you wanted him to pay towards the holiday, I think you should have agreed this before it was booked and not suddenly land it on him.

Does your 12 year old pay for his own meals? I doubt it.

I also assume that your 12 year old is using money that someone gave to him (probably you or family members) and doesn't earn it themselves.
So rather a different situation.

Nah, if you want a family unit holiday, with a teen, you need to foot the overheads.

The OP said SPENDING MONEY. e.g. he eats and drinks like a grown man so the OP will be spending enough to feed him so if he wants extra stuff he can buy it himself.

im not sure
If he didn’t get the job would you have paid for him fully?
i think of course for discretionary spending money but not really for the basics of the holiday unless you have him a choice about coming and discussed it in advance.

Sorry, I need to add more context. The £25 a day is for him to maybe get a round of drinks a day or buy the odd lunch or ice creams for the family . It’s an expensive area but we all have the best holidays .
He knows the area well, seriously enjoys his meals out and going for a few beers afterwards. The three of us usually spend about £200 a day.
When I say we cover all his basics, that includes season ticket for a premier league team , mobile phone, gym, all toiletries, food, takeaways and meals while at college/work . He’s studying a levels, 3.5 days a week and works 13 hours in a well
paid job for his age, at a well known high street pharmacy .
He clearly thinks his wages are to spend on designer clothes only!

I’ve just got back from Greece with my teens, the 18 year old works pretty much full time. I paid for the flights and accommodation and some meals but he also picked a couple of tabs for the 4 of us and helped out with buying things.

Have a great time, it was lovely where we were 😎

At least he's saved some of his wages, and not blown all his money, but he should be happy to spend a relatively small proportion of his savings towards the cost of his holiday, especially if he's ordering the expensive options in restaurants etc.

He is clearly living a charmed life...

What did he get a job for then if not to pay his way for things.
Sounds like he needs a reality check, he is very lucky to have 99% of a holiday funded for him and the rest.
His attitude would get my back up tbh.

^When I say we cover all his basics, that includes season ticket for a premier league team , mobile phone, gym, all toiletries, food, takeaways and meals while at college/work . He’s studying a levels, 3.5 days a week and works 13 hours in a well
paid job for his age, at a well known high street pharmacy^

He definitely needs to start paying for his season ticket, phone, gym, toiletries that aren't supermarket basics and takeaways.

However, that lot will add up to a fair amount, he might even need to start thinking about budgeting and prioritising.

How is he going to be able to afford to buy and run a car when he already has all those extras? Most adults won't have £600 pm to spend as they like, so he's going to have a hell of a shock when he has to pay for everything out of his own salary unless he gets a very well paid job.

It might have been reasonable if you'd made it clear when booking the holiday.

It isn't reasonable to tell him at this stage that he needs to contribute that much money. Paying for his own alcohol, ice creams, etc, fine. But not for his own meals when you pay for them at home and didn't mention it before the holiday.

You're not being unreasonable AT ALL.
Enjoy your holiday - I'm off to Greece tomorrow!

You have given him everything unconditionally and now you have moved the goal posts at the last minute. He doesn't understand how easy he has had life, time that you had the chat and he started paying board if he is going to be bratty.

We do this but it's a whole family thing but i rarely use cash these days, not does dh and 18 year old dd uses cash way way less than us. If she had to use the piggy bank for holiday spending money she'd be skint.

When she was little it would be like £100 in coppers and 5ps every year but now, it's lucky if there's tenner in there since the start of covid.

For the OP, asking for him to consider using his money for expensive extras is fine but it's something that should have been discussed at the point of booking the holiday so he could budget.

It was mentioned, he was told at the start but didn't think his mother was serious, this is on him no one else.