I hate the cat

[WarriorWalrus]

DD1, 17, got a cat for her 15th birthday, she had been begging for years and loves the cat to pieces, it was a joint bid for the cat, DD1 promising all the care until she left for uni, DD2, (now 14) promising to take over and DH saying he would do care when they aren't around.
Well DD1 just finished her a-levels, left to go travelling with her friends, not back until mid-August (she turns 18 at the start of August). DD2 hates the cat (the cat also hates her, I'm not sure why they have beef but its a no go, the cat just scratches DD2), DH feeds him and changes the litterbox but the cat seems to have decided in the absence of DD1, he wants me, we might have the only clingy cat in the world, but he waits for me to get home, follows me for a bit the goes to lay in DD1s room. Can't say DD1s name in earshot or the cat comes running and follows me again. Middle of the night he scratches my door to be let in, then sleeps in-between DH and I, he loves it, I hate it!!
7 days into DD1 being gone, I've heard from her 4 times, each time "How's Socrates (the cat), Can I see Socrates, show Socrates this video so he doesn't forget me", I send a response (pic of the cat usually) she reacts to it, I ask how she is and get left on read?? Like she only misses and cares for the cat!!!
And to think she is off to uni halls in sept, so this is just my life now!!
AIBU to hate the cat, do any cat whisperers have tips on how I can get the cat to give his love to DH or DD2 and leave me alone???

Oh he is gorgeous! No advice unfortunately, I get upset when my two cats don’t follow me around 😂 they’re forever at my heels and I’ve not been able to pee without a cat in tow for 8 years now!

Keep him in the kitchen overnight, the rest is really quite sweet.

The pic of him is lovely he is lonely big change for him having your daughter his owner away from him.

Cats pine when their person leaves. Socrates is looking to you because he’s lonely and misses DD.

Cupboard love is real. Get DD2 to feed him and give him treats, buy a couple of cat toys for her to play with him. Shut him in the kitchen overnight so he can’t disturb your sleep.

In a couple of weeks he’ll swap allegiance to DD2 until DD1 comes home.

Our cat gets shut in the kitchen at night! It's a large kitchen and he has more than everything needs in there... no scratching at bedroom door and everyone sleeps well... I know you adore Socrates really but never, ever get a dog because you wouldn't cope with the affection!

What a lovely name for a cat ❤We adopted ours last year, as a companion for DS who is autistic. They have such a close bond and DCat loves me and DH too, but DD unfortunately hasn't bonded with him at all.

DCat has a disability - he had a road accident when he was v young and a front leg had to be amputated. He's adorable, and very loving, except when he's being a bit of a dick, chasing us up the stairs and biting our ankles!

I always thought I was a dog person before we had a cat, having grown up with dogs in the house, but cats are also wonderful creatures. He will come and lie on the bed and doze next to us if we're having a lie in. He's just lovely to have around the house, and I love how much of a difference he's made with DS.

Yeah, it's a big myth that all cats are aloof and don't need love. All mine have wanted me close, loved their cuddles, needed chat and reassurance.

I'm not going to pretend you can just force yourself to love the cat. But you do need to address the cats needs and I would definitely be researching how to repair the bond between cat and dd2.

You may also come to appreciate the opportunities Socrates gives you for connection with dd1 when she goes to uni. I have a dd the same age and I reckon 80% of our communication is me sending her little videos or stories about her cats' antics. She loves it and it keeps us close.

Do not get another cat! I'm sure you aren't contemplating that idea. It's a fallacy to think cats want another furry companion. I'm assuming your daughter will be back during holidays? It's perfectly reasonable to be annoyed at the situation but you need to stop letting him into your bedroom - eventually he will give up scratching but it does take time. Cats are nocturnal and it will affect your sleep and create more resentment. Try to give the cat some fuss in the evenings when maybe you watch TV? He will adjust to her absence in time.

Totally irrelevant to this topic but I totally made an account to say this
Tour de France fan????
If you’re not I look really silly right now

I agree cats can be affectionate, can tell people apart and be little followers. There's a difference though between an outdoors cat that comes in occasionally and sits on your lap, purrs a bit and then goes off hunting at night, and an indoor cat- especially if it's huge like ragdolls or Maine Coons or Siamese (gorgeous pics above) which are very human oriented and also noisy (my cat's miaow is just unbelievable loud compared with any other cat I've had) and that follow you day and night.

It's nice if you've chosen that cat, less nice if thrust upon you, but I think the OP is secretly pleased now we've told her shes the Chosen One.

This was a reply to @SoSadForCav

@Sadforcavtoo

Tour de France?? What's that??

just joking. Yes. Gutted for him!

I'm struggling to get into TdF this year & this hasn't helped one bit. I hope he changes his mind & tries again next year! I've been a Tdf fan still since I was 7 and we saw them on the Champs. (Just happened to be there on holiday). I'm now in my 50's.

Hope today's stage is good! 🚴

Maybe you look / smell / sound like DD1.

Try deepening your voice wearing Lynx Africa and a fake beard?

How many people on this thread can't read the tone beneath your message, that it's half lighthearted, and are going on about how bad a person you are for "hating the cat". Yes, it was in the title of your thread, but are some folk really so literal? Very sad.

Absolutely this. Cats choose their person and you have to fill in for DD1.

Congratulations on your new life as cat mum 🎉

He's gorgeous. Also he's your cat now, congratulations.

Just accept it, this is your life now.

The problem is you speak good cat. If you're not a cat person then when you meet a cat you don't look it in the eye or hassle it, therefore the cat thinks aha... my kind of person, they are polite and know the rules. Hence the cat is attracted to the kind of person who wishes it wasn't. I'm in the same boat. I don't hate cats but have no desire to have them in my bed etc. Everywhere I go cats talk to me rather than the cat mad people who wish the cat would give them attention. The cat my cat mad DS finally wheedled out of me thinks I am the bees knees.

So if you really want him out of your face give him over the top cuddles, stare him in the eye and pester him (but you won't😆) otherwise there is no hope, you are stuck with him so you might as well start talking to him 😁😁

Based on what?? Cats are actually social animals and practice social grooming for various reasons the cat here is clearly pining for his human and the company of another cat could prove beneficial long term

I was one of them at first I admit it! It's just I love the furry bastards so much I immediately took offence - great thread.

Hell hath no fury like cat lovers who have been rubbed the wrong way.

Isn't this the truth. The OP has gone from a light hearted moan about the cat... to be being accused of never loving her DD.

Your cat is beautiful……. We have a cat and I love her. However she prefers my husband who hates her. She never ever comes to me when he’s around and it’s so annoying! 😂

This. We had a Maine coon.

oh. My. God.

Animals have feelings and emotions and bond to certain people. Socrates bonded with your daughter who has entrusted him to your care. For some reason, he also chose to bond with you and not her sister. He is probably confused and sad and feels abandoned; wouldn’t you?

People who have no empathy for animals, in my opinion, are missing an essential element of humanity.

I’ve had cats all my life, but no way they sleep in my room or have a litter tray in the house. Shut in a downstairs room overnight, preferably with cat flap, move litter tray outside. Get a plug in calming thing, the rest will sort itself in time.