Terrible neighbours

[Lindsaycreate]

I’m hoping for some advice. I moved into my terraced home six years ago and unfortunately on one side have unpleasant neighbours. They are a couple in their early 70’s, she literally never leaves the house/garden and they have CCTV all round the house. We are constantly watched. They have no friends. All other neighbours are lovely and have had the same problems with this particular couple for many years so the small comfort is that it isn’t just me they have a problem with.

However, I am the one directly beside them. They put a fence up in my garden (there is a dividing wall and they put it up on my side of it) and I had to go through solicitors to get it taken down. They then built the dividing wall to two metres and said I couldn’t plant any plants in my flower bed beside it - apparently plants would discolour it. My flowerbed is full of flowers in summer - really beautiful and I cut them all back in the winter. They know this. I’ve just gone out the morning and they have poisoned all my plants within half a metre of the wall. I’m so upset. I don’t know whether to ignore it or say something to them about it.

They are very malicious - they call the police if you engage with them at all. I’ve learnt to record every interaction on my phone so I can replay for the police as the couple lie about everything. The couple seem to thrive on arguing and fighting. I don’t. I haven’t engaged with them since last July when the fence was removed.

There is no way to discuss anything with them, they cannot see anyone else’s point of view. The neighbours who have lived here longer say this has gone on for 30 plus years. Solicitors have been involved with every neighbours interaction with this couple.

I have a primary age son who is scared of them. I can’t move. I love where I live and every other neighbour is fabulous.
I would love some advice about how to get through this. I do not want to put CCTV up.

I was told damage to the garden/killing grass was criminal damage but it's the proof that's the problem

Yes the neighbours may be isolated and feel they have no control over many aspects of their lives but there comes a point where such behaviour can’t and shouldn’t be tolerated. OP has a right to enjoy her home.

I had escalating problems over a car parking obsessed neighbour. I made as many accommodations for him as possible, as he does clearly have MH issues and for a while moved my car lower down the road, if there was space, just to try keep him happy. But he started coming round at all times and shouting through my letter box. When he started the incessant door knocking one Saturday night, I opened the door to tell him he needed to stop. I told him I wouldn’t be discussing again, so he put his foot in the door to stop me closing it. It was after that I called the non emergency police number to report him. They were amazing. Asked me to come in to the station after the weekend to give them a statement and a few weeks later sent 2 officers to talk to him and make it clear if he spoke to me again, they’d issue a harassment notice. They told him i was parking legally and appropriately and he must stop telling me to move it. I never heard another word from him after that. His behaviour was nowhere near as bad as your neighbours either OP

I’m imagining the twits living next to you .

All the suggestions that they won’t be around forever because they’re in their 70s are not helpful.

I’ve had several relatives who have been mentally sharp and living in their own homes in their 90s. Even more in their 80s. Suppose these neighbours stay healthy and living there until their 80s. That’s TEN YEARS of hell for the OP. And as they get older they could get even more weird and nasty (one of my family members turned absolutely vile in their old age). Even one year of this harassment and damaged property is bad enough. I’m sure that some of the people here going “hey, just ignore it, the fuckers will be dead soon” wouldn’t want to tolerate this for 10 or 20 years. Maybe some people find it hard to imagine how soul destroying it is.

I had a horrible, extremely noisy neighbour two doors away (not even next door!) for two or three years and that was bad enough. The relief when they moved out was incredible.

True, frail elderly people can’t build fences and walls, but they most certainly can pick up the phone and hire a professional to do it.

You complain about the CCTV yet you illegally record every conversation without their consent? And the police were ok with this???

This sounds horrible!! (And completely believable btw)

I do believe that you should ignore them. Anything else will just give them satisfaction, and without concrete proof..,

I also believe (strongly believe!!) that you need to install CCTV. Yard front door etc. Basically everything they could access via their garden (even if it’s just throwing stuff, long pruning shears etc.) or public access paths/roads…

”planting” realistic fake plants where the old ones were is however a great idea!🤣🤣

@Lindsaycreate Sorry to hear that. We think, especially in regards to our neighbours that they must be very unhappy within themselves to be how they are. You don’t hear of happy content folk making stuff difficult and unpleasant for those who live near them. Ours are also in their late seventies and highly manipulative to boot. I hope you soon find some peace in your own home ❤️

Ignore though as others have said keep a diary.

The exception being that if one or other of them drives, I'd be tempted to contact the DVLA to allege that they are medically unfit to drive.

What happened about the malicious letter to your work OP? Did you report that to the police?

Our narrcasistic neighbours came out the other day with a child in her arms trying to tell us not to talk outside our own house at 2.30pm because her toddler is sleeping (in her arms while she is moving lol). and we were not loud either, we just laugh at it all as they are batshot crazy.

Genius idea. Can I get fake plants in different heights to demonstrate growth? It would be great to nip out under cover of darkness and upgrade my plants by 6 inches every three weeks - would drive my neighbours more bonkers.

OP I have a nightmare neighbour. She is manipulative, nasty, foul mouthed, vindictive and thrives on drama and arguments. I despise drama and conflict but unfortunately the police have done nothing to deal with her at all as she fake cries and lies. Most of the neighborhood avoid her and wont even talk to her as they know what she is like. Unfortunately her son is being brought up the same way and had terrorised kids around our area.

The best advice I can give you is get CCTV on your property to protect yourself. Your neighbours are breaching the GPDR act if they are filming on your property or filming the general public without a warning. You are entitled to take action if they are filming on your property so please speak to a solicitor or the police as it's harrassment.

Secondly do not engage at all with them. Ignore any action, nasty behaviour and do not rise to them. They want a reaction so the best one you can give them is nothing. If they start anything walk away, be always in your CCTV cameras view when your coming in and out of our property.

There are two sets of neighbours who live opposite me, who are like this. Venomous, malicious, joy-destroyers.
They're next door neighbours to each other and best friends and have lived on this close since it was built and seem to think they own it - the two women are the worst - Vinegar Face and Budget Camilla Parker-Bowles.
They make everyone's life hell and judge everyone because they have no lives of their own, so they make everyone else's frustration and misery their aim in life and their husbands meekly follow behind them and are horrible when they're around but are nice when they're not.
BCPB likes to stand on her step with her curlers in like a stereotypical nag (only thing missing is a rolling pin but it's usually replaced with a hosepipe that gives her an excuse to be out nosying and scowling and gossiping) and Vinegar Face - my God, even her very voice is moany, droll and such a flat tone with no variation at all and on the rare occasion she smiles, she still looks like she's swallowing a couple of drunk and violent live wasps.

Best thing to do with neighbours like these is to remember the problem is THEM and not you, remember that nothing you do will change them and just either ignore them or even better still politely smile and call Hello - that REALLY annoys them x

Did anyone else hear them say they’d poison your plants? Did you mention it to anyone immediately after they said it to you? Workout how much it will cost to replace the plants with similar maturity specimens, price it up, ask a solicitor to send them a letter requesting they make good the damage they caused to your property and that if they refuse then you will them to small claims (via the chance of mediation, obvs). You don’t need a solicitor to do it and it’s a relatively straight forward process.

Anyone killing my plants would be in a lot of trouble 😡😡😡

I hate rude, awkward people who get away with making life miserable for those unfortunate to come into contact with them. They usually get away with it because normal, nice people are so aghast at their fuckwittery they give in to get them to go away.

What an awful situation you are in, I would be really stressed if I had such nasty neighbours.

I just want to warn you though not to simply replant the area of dead plants as depending on the poison used, the soil could be poisoned as well so your new plants would also die.

The suggestion to use fake plants is good but they are rather expensive, I recently replanted a trough with a trellis ( which I use as a privacy fence) with fake bamboo and grasses - they cost more than real ones would!

I don’t see why you should have to go to the expenses but I guess you will have to if you are going to be able to enjoy your garden. A camera might be the way forward as at least then you would hopefully have evidence. I used a recording from my Mums Ring doorbell camera of a man attempting to get money from Mum ( she had Alzheimer's) to show to the police and it helped convict the man of fraud.

Do tell us more about the way your employer handled it when they contacted them saying you weren't qualified to do your job, Would love to hear tat story.

Well, at least you'll outlive them.

I like the small claims idea.

Firstly get some cameras up & this will stop any further maliciousness from them. If they know you have cameras, they should stop doing whatever they're doing.
They won't like it that you have done this, but they cannot say anything as they've got them up themselves.

If you have proof it's them, then you can choose to take it further if you like.

I'm afraid ppl like this live a miserable existence & they know others don't like them. It also sounds like if the house is left unoccupied they are afraid ppl will do something to their house/ garden... who wants to live like that all their life.

I would probably ignore what they've done & get the cameras in, then replant when you can.

Something will bite them on the backside one day

I'm curious how a neighbour, that the OP doesn't speak to, would even know where she worked.🤔

When I was a child, our neighbour was just like that. Some people are nasty and spiteful by nature. There isn’t a reason for their malice. They don’t complain, or poison your flowers, or scratch your car, or whatever, because you’ve done something wrong. They do it because they are filled with venom and hatred and jealousy. When someone is angry, they will look for an outlet for their anger. It’s the same with malicious people. They are always looking for an outlet for their malice. If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else. The old cow who lived next door took pleasure in being nasty. Her eyes would sort of light up with joy when she was upsetting my mum.

There’s nothing I can say. I know exactly the kind of people you are describing. Being nice to them doesn’t work. And neither does ignoring them. In fact, ignoring them just provokes them even more. Confrontation doesn’t work either. All you can do is be cold and distant - not rude, but not sycophantic either. They will hate you for it, of course, but then people like that don’t need much excuse for hating their neighbours.

They sound awful! Get your own CCTV and have it pointing at your garden. We have a cheap one from Argos. That way you can see if they're tampering with your things.

Another one saying get some CCTV and make sure the cameras are visible. Surely that would stop them doing the physical damage to your garden/property?

Wow they sound so awful. I would be tempted to go low.. though I can’t think of anything in particular 🤣

Several things you can do:
Put up your own camera/s.
Check their cameras are angled legally and they’re not invading your privacy where they shouldn’t be. Local council or police can advise on this foc.
Put very high trellis your side of the wall painted on their side only with non drying paint ( also called anti climb paint) If they touch it and get paint on themselves you look wide eyed, oh I wonder what sort of paint that is , we bought it ready painted 🤷‍♀️
You put an infrared alarm trained along the top of the wall, they break the beam sound goes off.
You put a motion sensor sprinkler next to the wall , but on jet wash mode.
You borrow a large dog that will patrol the garden.

Personally I wouldn’t ignore their latest deed as they’ll move onto worse.