Terrible neighbours

[Lindsaycreate]

I’m hoping for some advice. I moved into my terraced home six years ago and unfortunately on one side have unpleasant neighbours. They are a couple in their early 70’s, she literally never leaves the house/garden and they have CCTV all round the house. We are constantly watched. They have no friends. All other neighbours are lovely and have had the same problems with this particular couple for many years so the small comfort is that it isn’t just me they have a problem with.

However, I am the one directly beside them. They put a fence up in my garden (there is a dividing wall and they put it up on my side of it) and I had to go through solicitors to get it taken down. They then built the dividing wall to two metres and said I couldn’t plant any plants in my flower bed beside it - apparently plants would discolour it. My flowerbed is full of flowers in summer - really beautiful and I cut them all back in the winter. They know this. I’ve just gone out the morning and they have poisoned all my plants within half a metre of the wall. I’m so upset. I don’t know whether to ignore it or say something to them about it.

They are very malicious - they call the police if you engage with them at all. I’ve learnt to record every interaction on my phone so I can replay for the police as the couple lie about everything. The couple seem to thrive on arguing and fighting. I don’t. I haven’t engaged with them since last July when the fence was removed.

There is no way to discuss anything with them, they cannot see anyone else’s point of view. The neighbours who have lived here longer say this has gone on for 30 plus years. Solicitors have been involved with every neighbours interaction with this couple.

I have a primary age son who is scared of them. I can’t move. I love where I live and every other neighbour is fabulous.
I would love some advice about how to get through this. I do not want to put CCTV up.

...they sent a letter to my work saying I wasn’t qualified to do my job...

This is really good evidence of harassment.

PPs have given good advice to essentially ignore them. A mixture of ignoring / pitying them and their unhappy malicious lives, whilst keeping evidence of harassment like that above is the way to go...

I've been in a situation with awful neighbours; different circs and behaviour but I can totally empathise with how draining it is. We thought they'd never leave, but eventually they did and things got better overnight! So don't lose hope. I know it's incredibly stressful but it really won't last forever.

I would get cctv because otherwise you can't prove anything re the plants.

I would definitely start building a case for harassment.

I would put up CCTV and log every single incident in a diary.

I would also report any harassment or criminal damage to the non-emergency police.

Unless you put cctv up you can’t prove it was them and therefore can only ignore

They sound bat shit crazy ! I'd have cameras everywhere to get evidence and then take it to the police.

I'm so sorry That is awful!!! Feeling suicidal ❤ Bad neighbours can drive you to the brink though. Even 20 years later, I can feel the rage when I think about it, and how awful and vile these neighbours of mine were, and how they upset my children too, and drove my whole family out of our home. It still upsets me to think about it now. Hope you're OK now @Cakepyramids

I’ve had bad neighbours in the past, I used to sing to the cameras whenever I could to relieve the stress of it all. Whoever they showed the footage to just laughed & told them that it wasn’t an offence to sing. I’m not sure if it was my bad singing or what, but they left after a few years. I’ve no idea why but these bastards always seem to live forever.

For goodness sake how hard is it to envisage a wall being extended upwards to two meters on top of the old one. An experienced brick layer would have no problem doing this.
As for putting a fence on top of the wall before it was extended they wouldn’t even have to enter OPs garden to do it. It can be done by drilling metal brackets and posts into the top of the wall to support the fence. And to be even more petty they had the posts and fence put on OP’s side of the top.
They knew they had op over a barrel or thought they did, the wall it was their property, op couldn’t take it down as they’d no doubt have involved the police and had her up for Criminal damage.
Op played the long game and involved solicitors, and now they’ve upped the game by poisoning her land.

Jesus.

I really feel for you 💐

I’m guessing you don’t have a partner/husband?

I would look at it that it’s actually a positive that you’ve got a higher wall between you.

I would get a CCTV by the wall (that they can’t get to), and I would then replant whatever I wanted.

I would then seriously think about moving, and hopefully the new owners will square up to the bullies.

I've had similar with a nasty neighbour. Amongst other things I'm convinced she poisoned plants and grass on our boundary.

The police had words with her a number of years ago when she was really bad.

I never show any reaction. I don't want to give her the satisfaction.

It's been going on for years but decreasing in frequency. I'm hoping she's getting bored.

I am really sorry you are going through this, I have awful neighbours who like yours are disliked by the rest of my street. I am currently coping by ignoring them as much as possible as attempting to engage with them is pointless and only stresses me out. My problems are different in that it involves constant noise, mess and aggression plus they have no English so trying to have any sort of reasonable discussion is not possible. Yours sound like a whole different ball game in that they appear to thrive on creating conflict and have a malicious intent towards other people. I guess that their behaviour is fuelled by having nothing positive and worthwhile going on in their lives. What I do with mine is keep a record of incidents and I do take photos of all the rubbish that they dump. I do feel for you, until I had bad neighbours I didn't understand just how much it impacts on your life.

They sound just like our neighbours. We ended up having to threaten legal proceedings unless they undertook not to engage in the behaviour (including coming onto our property/storing footage of us and our children in our own garden etc). It's very much a control issue - they've lived there for 40 years and think they should therefore get to dictate everything that happens along the road. You are allowed to plant flowers in your own garden, if the wall was going to be stained by flowers they should have built a different wall. It's a garden. They have committed property damage. Your solicitors should demand compensation for the cost of replanting the flowerbed and an undertaking that they will not damage future planting (and if they are harassing you, an undertaking that they will not do so going forwards!)

A nice try, but everything from fraud to burglary has been deemed a civil matter and most drug offences have been effectively decriminalised.
Having been in the OPs shoes, in very similar circumstances, it's slow, painful and demoralising.

It sounds awful, and I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to put up with this and especially that they’ve upset your poor son. You sounds like you’re doing everything you can (practically) so keep doing it, and I think it’s worth sending a solicitors letter about the plants to warn them off. Bullies like this need standing up to and hopefully they’ll back off (a bit). Good luck!

You are aware that people leave their homes sometimes?

Honestly, there are far too many unpleasant people on this thread. I can only imagine that they are nasty neighbours too.

How do you know it was then that sent the letter to your workplace, did they sign it? If so, couldn't you get them done for harassment? I'd probably lose my shit with them in all honesty and scare them into leaving me alone, but that probably isn't the best route to go!

They sound nuts. I’m guessing she’s agoraphobic and their relationship is a toxic folie à deux. No advice beyond what’s already been said ( document things, keep a diary but minimise engagement and live your life). I’ll be the horrible person and say it: hopefully one of them will get ill before long and die/ they’ll have to move out. We had an awful neighbour and that’s what happened to him. Sad to say I was relieved.

Have you quoted the wrong person?

I am not one of the posters who has posted unpleasant things.

No. You didn’t seem to believe the OP wasn’t looking out of her window 24/7.

Hi OP, this wall is in your front garden? You said the fence obscured your front window. It is quite possibly illegal. 'For a front garden the maximum height is usually half the height of the back garden, so 1 metre or 3.2 feet.
This is because there’s a rule relating to the highway. If the fence line boundary is adjacent to a road or pavement the maximum fence height without planning permission is 1 metre.' That's according to: https://diygarden.co.uk/fences/how-high-can-a-garden-fence-be#:~:text=For%20a%20front%20garden%20the,1%20metre%20or%203.2%20feet.

You've not mentioned who owns the boundary wall. If it's yours they had no right to touch it anyway.

I don't believe she's looking out her window 24/7 no, because no one would?
I have never said anything about her looking out of her window 24/7.
The only thing that I have said is that it's hard to catch someone spraying weedkiller from their property into yours which is still true.
It would be more useful to add something constructive to the thread than pick on my post.

Plant a bramble patch to replace the flowers

What about putting fake plants and bright coloured large fake flowers where yours died? You can get fake ivy on large trellises too- that might annoy them and they can't poison it! I would get 24/7 surveillance on your fakery too!.

I'd be preparing a harassment case. Reporting you to your work is more than a neighborhood dispute. I'd also be checking planning regulations to se if permission was needed to raise the wall.