...to not want DD to eat these lollies?

[WorriedAboutEntertaining]

DD is 3.5 and her grandma keeps giving her these little lollies. I've asked her not to, as I have a horrible memory of my little brother choking on a lolly when he was 4 and my mum having to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on him.

DD's grandma also gives DD whole grapes, mini eggs and other things that really stress me out. I'm trying to be rational but my gut feeling is that I'd rather DD didn't have these things just yet - I still cut up grapes, for example.

Am I being irrational? Is DD old enough for these lollies? I think I might be letting my childhood memory cloud my judgement. DD's grandma thinks I'm being silly but she has been very cavalier with DD at times (leaving her alone on a changing table when she was a baby, DD rolled off; occasional things like that).

It's not 'everyone to their own'

Whole grapes, cherry tomatoes and marshmallows are a KNOWN choking risk. Why on earth would you take the chance? I hope you don't feed other people's children.

Marshmallows are unnecessary and it takes two seconds to cut up grapes and tomatoes.

Children have died because of the lack of a very simple precaution

@LadyJ2023 · Today 09:20

Everyone to there own our 1 year old twins and 3 year old eat grapes or whatever whole all the time. Sweets tho they barely ever get.

Oh dear GOD! As pps have said, grapes are a KNOWN choking risk. Please tell me you're joking when you say you never cut up grapes for your THREE YEAR OLD!!!

Honestly the lack of common sense around chocking is shocking.

OP don't worry about upsetting anybody...protect your child at all costs.

Be very firm and say if you can't stick to my rules you can't look after her.

My GC are treated like the most special children on earth when I look after them especially around hazards/ safety.
(adult children may have said "but you let us do that as kids " )
I point out that's different you were my child this precious child is my Grandchild

CHOKING not bloody chocking.

YANBU in the slightest and even if you were being overcautious she should respect your wishes. NHS advice backs you up if you need to reiterate this to her. Definitely be firmer!

Obviously the OP is entitled to state how she would like her child to be treated and if the grandmother is not obliging then visits on their own should be curtailed but can't understand how people can say lollies and assorted sweets should be banned, I had these growing up, not as young as the OP's children but whilst under 10. I do not have a filling at nearly thirty because we were taught to clean our teeth properly and only got them as occasional treats not everything has to be banned!

My inlaws and my own dm never listen to me when I say "don't give them those lollies/hard sweets" (DS choked on a small hard boiled sweet his bloody DM gave him when he was about 4 that she did behind my back), I just have to take them off the kids but they never tantrum about it, they know they're not supposed to have them. I hate being completely ignored as a parent by grandparents, really pisses me off.

Oh god. No. I would not be allowing this!

I don’t know why you would do that? Whole grapes are a known choking danger to young kids.

DS choked on a drumstick a parent at a party gave him. Then the bloody idiot didn’t even stick around to supervise afterwards

If you’re nearly 30 you probably also had fissure sealing which protected your adult teeth. Not like people my age who ate loads of boiled sweets and have loads of fillings despite brushing properly. Milk teeth, however, are not so strong and it is really sad that some children have to have them removed under general anaesthetic.

If you have the additional problem of a choking hazard for small children, why take the risk? If you don’t buy them, they don’t miss them. There are plenty of other safe sweet treats available.

Not unreasonable at all, DS is 5, has never had a lolly and won't be anytime in the near future. It isn't worth the risk.

@CecilyP I've never had fissure sealing I actually had to look up what it was after your post.

@CecilyP in addition I was not saying young children should have them I was referring to posters who said they should be banned and saying I disagreed with blanket responses like that as older children can and obviously in the past have had these without damaging their teeth or choking to death

Yanbu.

I hate my children having hard sweets. Choking hazard and terrible for teeth.

Your child's grandmother should respect what you say.

This is irresponsible to be quite honest, nothing may have happened so far which is great, but if grapes get lodged in a throat they are nearly impossible to remove.

No!!! Your mil sound respect your decision, those wee friggers give me nightmares- don't get me started on the parents that let their 2 year old run riot in soft play/ boucy castle with one shoved in their mouth - the anxiety kills me watching them

I do not let any of my kids have those lollies. They are not just a choking hazard but kids try to crunch then or bite them and end up chipping their back teeth which leaves then wide open to decay. And i still don’t like my eight year old having mini eggs etc in case she chokes. My 12 year old told me recently that he would like me to stop chopping his grapes in half in his packed lunch! For the mallee kids I still quarter them!

Yes, Probably the sheer number of boiled sweets we sucked that damaged our teeth. I don’t think anyone wants all boiled sweets banned. Just these lollipops which have proved to be dangerous ! They may now have a label saying not suitable for under 5s but not everyone will read it.

Sorry OP but I actually think you are being very irresponsible letting your child go to your mother/mother in law's unsupervised. The woman is a danger to your child and you as the mother need to put your foot down. It can take seconds for a child to choke. Also she is setting your kid up for a lifetime of dental interventions too.

Threw out a lollipop from a party bag for 3yo this morning. With my wretched teeth I wish my parents had stopped me eating so much sweet stuff in childhood.