to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

I was chief bridesmaid for my best friend when I was 38 weeks pregnant. During all the photographs the photographer was obsessed with hiding my bump, having me stand in such a way as for it to be hidden, standing behind objects, even getting me to put my bouquet in front of it at some points. Not sure why he thought it was so distasteful as I was a 29 year old married woman at the time. Very bizarre.

FIL’s “wife” (they weren’t legally married at the time) who had been on the scene less than 3 years shouted at my DH in church before our wedding because he has saved the seat next to his dad with a picture of his late mother.

She also started an argument with DH’s aunt during my speech because I toasted late MIL, and she hadn’t been invited to sit on top table (again, a picture of DH’s mum was in her spot).

For context, at their non-legal wedding 3 months prior (shoehorned in to overshadow ours), I was not allowed to sit next to DH during the ceremony or at the top table, despite being together over 4 years, owning a house together, engaged to be married etc. Her DIL was sat with her son the entire time though.

FIL refused to hold her accountable for her actions, I haven’t spoken to him since the wedding. Now expecting DH and I’s first DC and can’t be bothered with the drama of telling him.

I should add, at the the time of our wedding MIL had only passed away 4.5 years prior. So not like crazy woman has known DH from childhood

They are, but we don't see much of them. They're always feuding with one family member or another and therfore boycott a lot of events.

Can’t top op but was invited to the wedding of someone i’d considered to be a very good friend (up until that point). She’d invited us to the wedding ceremony and the evening do but not to the reception. It was held in this remote village and the invite advised us not to drive as villages didn’t want extra cars double parking etc. Also to wear wellies as church was in the middle of a field. So we were expected to walk to this village, in wellies, then fuck off after the ceremony, to presumably twiddle our thumbs in the middle of a field until 6pm. And they wanted a present. In the run up to the wedding people who barely knew the bride, and were confused as to why they’d been invited, kept saying they’d see me there and I had to explain to them that I hadn’t really been invited, despite the fact we’d been friends for 15 years, which was quite embarrassing. And no, I didn’t go.

I'm glad you didn't go, @dasha16 . That's such a cheek!

@Maireas in hindsight we clearly weren’t mates, I just thought we were 😹 but yes I am also glad I didn’t go

Or it could be that net is net?

I bet she's really glad she invited you!

We were invited, uninvited and reinvited to DHs cousins wedding.
Big thing of save the day , make sure your holiday doesnt clash for 2 years lead up, official invite received. Then oh theres an issue with numbers would you mind just coming to evening do- err no we live 6 hours away , need to book annual leave, pet care, accomodation etc so thanks but will give it a miss,

To come to the wedding ceremony, amuse yourselves for a few hours then come back to evening do - see above and tbh if we're not in top 200 of guests invited then Im not using a days leave, pay accomodation etc
Then maybe you can come but leave DC behind- err no we havent childcare for that, especially for 3 days- thanks but no thanks.
To full invite again. It was a farce.
Obviously they dont have to invite cousins or DC but dont make a big thing saving date, sending out invites which included the whole family then withdrawing it.

So, the rude behaviour at the wedding was yours?

And you're admitting to it?

You sound nasty

My husband to be had quite a small family - about 20 people- my side was bigger ( about 50) but we were reasonably close with all those invited. We shared friends too ,so all the guests were well known to us. During the sit down meal the manager approached me and said a couple of the guests wanted sandwiches as they didn’t like the lunch being served (as the chicken came with a sauce!) I noticed that my parents in law were laughing uproariously with guests I didn’t recognise. I went to speak with them . On enquiring it was revealed that the unknown gentleman sitting with them was the coach driver who had brought them. The two women with him were the wife and sister in law of the driver. They had come along for the ride.My MIL had invited them to the wedding breakfast a full 4 course meal “as she felt sorry for them.” My parents had paid for the whole wedding- including a separate coach for my husband’s family. They insisted on this as though they only lived 25 miles away”It was unreasonable to expect anyone to drive”
Our own relatives had travelled from the far corners of the UK without demanding paid transport.

I'm not sure why that's funny, @Missingpop ? Maybe your lace curtains were just a similar lace to the dress. No need to take them down. Also, why is her size pertinent?

Bride and groom's families lived quite a long way apart so wedding arranged in between, about 80 miles from each.
During the very busy week leading up to the big day groom's grandparents insisted he drive them, twice, to the venue so that they'd know the way. Venue was a hotel but they wouldn't stay over.
Come the wedding they arrived for the ceremony and left immediately afterwards with groom's aunt to drive them.
Meals uneaten, family and friends ignored - they just sneaked out. When the groom noticed he was very upset.
I did have a quiet laugh to myself when I found out that they got stuck in traffic and it took them 6 hours to get home.

It actually has not happened yet but I have been invited to the wedding of a bride and groom who do not speak to me. The groom literally goes out of his way to NOT talk to me. I thought they just sent the invite to tell other people they had done it but apparently despite the fact neither of them can bring themselves to actually talk to me themselves they still bizarrely want me there to share their day. It is a shame too as he is my brother and she my future SIL but bizarre to completely not speak to a person you allegedly want at your very small wedding.

The CFs here are you and DH. Horrible to laugh at a bride on her wedding day when you were her guests.

How strange. What's thier problem? Are you going to go?

At dh's cousin's wedding, his aunt went round the tables collecting cash gift envelopes & vouchers. People were waiting to greet bridal couple & give their gifts as they were still having photos done.

Aunty went round promising to hand it to b&g, only she didn't as we found out later. She went up to her hotel room, opened all the envelopes, took the cash & vouchers for herself. She returned the cards & cheques to the b&g after stealing from her own daughter. Shameless thief!

Oh dramatic look at me for sure. Not neurodivergent either. I'm extremely sympathetic but knowing her as well as I did, she enjoyed the attention.

It's her sister...

My father, unknown to me, delegated the Father of the bride speech to my Godfather (who I barely knew). I was really upset as my Dad and I were very close.
Later on that afternoon all that was put behind me when my niece (husbands wife's daughter) walked into the venue (village hall, hubby's family could trace their roots in the village back to 15th century) with my families 2 dogs who'd been waiting in the car.

That's shocking! Please tell me she was made to give it back?

I was MoH for a friend. Bride and groom had quarrelled by phone the morning of the wedding. A car came for the bridesmaids but didn't come back for the bride. Groom thought she'd backed out, went to the pub. Bride eventually got a taxi and arrived at the church but no groom. Groom came back roaring drunk and fell over a gravestone. He and bride's brother had a punch-up. No clergyman, he'd forgotten to put the wedding in his book. Finally had the ceremony, bride in tears, groom with a black eye and his shirt torn. Off to reception. No food. The caterer, a one-man-band lady, had double-booked. Groom's father got in another punch-up for groped the other bridesmaids. Final straw: groom had lost the flight tickets for the honeymoon.
They divorced within 18 months.

Back in the 80’s a good friend from work got married. Me and DP were invited to the whole ceremony. As we were the only ones back then to have bought a video camera, she then asked if I would video the ceremony. I agreed and was then given a list of all the shots to take completely taking over my day. I was not in any wedding pics as I was behind the video and being “directed” by the bride to keep taking videos.

At the meal, lots of gifts were given out to various quite minor helpers, bridesmaids, etc but I wasnt mentioned at all - much to my annoyance lol

When I came to check the video, I realised Id left the indoors setting on, so it was all blue tinted 😂 so a mess. I kept “meaning” to give her the video, but kept “forgetting”

This thread inspired me to find her on FB. There she was with a 36 year old wedding photo on display ….. with DH in it and not me 😂