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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery

391 replies

hengelian · 05/07/2023 22:22

I was in an exhibition in a large London gallery today, totally engrossed in the art works. I was staring at a painting and a woman interrupted me to ask me to take a photo of her in front of it.

I did it but I was quite off with her about it and probably a bit rude (said 'umm.. ok', took one photo and walked away, didn't ask her if it was OK etc).

I find it really rude that she interrupted me in an art gallery - to me this is like being interrupted in the middle of a movie at the cinema. I was experiencing a whole thought process which she dragged me out of so she could have a photo of a work she didn't even properly look at.

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Crushedrosy · 06/07/2023 02:40

TheFireflies · 06/07/2023 00:19

Rage? What an overreaction.

I mean, I’d quietly judge someone taking a selfie at Auschwitz, but not in an art gallery. People engage with the art in different ways, the important part is they’re engaging. And how they do so is nobody else’s business. It doesn’t affect you at all.

Show quote history

I agree my reaction is disproportionate and it's not a big deal but it's one of those things that really presses my grumpy middle aged old bag button.

MysteryBelle · 06/07/2023 02:52

I don’t like either one of you.

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 06/07/2023 03:03

Was it the gaffa taped banana?

YANBU, if I could go and see some of the worlds masterpieces then I would just want to look. Look for a long time.
Selfies just cheapen the experience.

Unless it was the banana.

SideWonder · 06/07/2023 03:14

YANBU. People can be absolute philistines - as this woman was. I’d have refused- art galleries aren’t places for stupid selfies.

ChillysWaterBottle · 06/07/2023 03:34

TeenLifeMum · 05/07/2023 22:58

Do you often struggle to be a nice person when faced with a normal and polite request? It’s not like you missed the painting doing something or had multiple interruptions. I find this a really weird response.

This.

OP your post is bizarre.

Angelil · 06/07/2023 03:37

Literally amazed that 75% of people here (at the time of writing) think you were being unreasonable. Has Covid/the advent of smartphones made people lose all decorum? People need to stop taking photos in museums. The flash can ruin fragile paintings over time, the sound (which most people seem to leave on for some reason?!) is INCREDIBLY annoying, it interrupts the experience of others (which is rude), and what are you even going to do with the photo afterwards? I guarantee you will never look at it again AND it will be far lower quality than any postcard you can buy in the gift shop (which you should be doing in order to support the arts).
so I’m with you OP. YANBU.

Angelil · 06/07/2023 03:42

EBearhug · 06/07/2023 02:08

It's really an intrusion. And I thought photos were forbidden in most fine art venue anyway; doesn't the flash damage the canvases?

Flash photography is usually banned, but phone cameras don't usually need a flash in the sort of lighting you get in galleries.

Some works will have a no photography sign and I've seen gallery attendants speaking to visitors about it, includingin the big London galleries. I was at an exhibition about a month ago with a visually impaired friend, and he likes taking a picture of a picture and enlarging the image to see details better - the staff were okay with this once he explained, if he wasn't saving the image, but they would have preferred him not to, because photography was banned for reasons of reproduction rights, I think. (They were actually pretty accommodating, to be fair, and emailed the large print copy of the gallery guide.)

I'm not against taking photos (if allowed) - I've done it myself, and with one friend, we have sent each other photos of works from exhibitions we've been to (can't talk art to everyone, so it's good to have friends I can.) I often buy the exhibition catalogue, so I can look back at the works I've seen, and taking photos isn't so different. I do get annoyed by those who want others to move out of the way to get a photo. I don't really get taking selfies beside art, but then I don't take many selfies anyway. And I can't imagine asking someone else to take a photo of me in front of art, either, but then I don't often speak to people in galleries at all.

So I think we all just appreciate these things in different ways. I can see that being interrupted when you're deep in thought is annoying, but it could happen for other reasons too - it's just one of those things when you're out in public.

Buying the catalogue IS totally different though. The museum actually makes money from that, which they actually need as the arts are so desperately underfunded. They get nothing from dimwits taking low-quality phone photos of the work.

Original poster
hengelian · 06/07/2023 04:15

FatNoMoreSue · 05/07/2023 22:29

omg how pompous and pretentious are you?! 😂

If you were in a cinema watching a movie and someone came and tapped you on the shoulder and asked you to take a photo of them with the movie, would it bother you?

To me, this is no different. Art is a story. I'm not being pretentious and I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else for appreciating art in this way, I was just experiencing it and enjoying that experience which I was rudely pulled away from.

OP posts:
Original poster
hengelian · 06/07/2023 04:25

Echio · 05/07/2023 22:45

YABU - I've worked in galleries the last 10 years.

Your way of experiencing an artwork is just one of many, and is not the 'right' way. There's no such thing. There's whole SWATHES of theory that say viewing in the way you describe is symptomatic of the worst aspects of capitalist culture.

All anyone who works in one wants is a visitor to have is a meaningful engagement with the art. What that means is very different for different people, for different art, different places, etc etc. Families with kids shouldn't be hushed as if the only way to enjoy and experience art is in silent reverence as if it's some holy icon. They can chat, laugh, tell stories, be animated, whatever!

Similarly, if someone wants a record of themselves with art that means something to them, that's a nice thing. Our phones are visual diaries nowadays. I'm not a selfie-taker but the half dozen or so I've ever done are in front of artworks that I've loved.

There's obviously a whole debate about selfie culture as a whole - needing to validate an experience by documenting it. When I went to the Louvre for the first time as an adult about 8 years ago I made the 'pilgrimage' to the Mona Lisa. I honestly couldn't believe what happened - everyone facing with their BACKS to this masterpiece so they could take selfies. It was unbelievable.

So, there is an issue in there, but that's not about galleries, that's about selfie culture.

In galleries, people should be free to engage how they want. Someone interrupted you in your engagement, but it clearly wasn't deliberately rude, and you could have gone back and looked again.

I totally agree with you that people should engage with art how they want and there is no 'right' way. Not sure what I said that made you think I don't believe that. I would never hush a family with kids!

But she actually stopped me from engaging with it the way I wanted. And yes, I guess I did judge her a bit because she just wanted a shot for instagram and then swiftly moved on. I think it's a shame that she didn't actually engage with the art work at all other than through her phone. I find it a really sad thing about our modern culture and one of the early posters who said about the Mona Lisa, I feel the same. I think the Mona Lisa must be the saddest painting in the world because no one ever looks at it anymore, they just snap it and move on.

So yes of course you can engage with art however you want... but I don't really think she was engaging with it at all... I think she was engaging with instagram! And regardless, you shoudn't interrupt others.

OP posts:
Tighginn · 06/07/2023 05:05

Duvetdweller · 05/07/2023 22:27

Were you screaming at it?

😂😂😂

ISeeMisledPeople · 06/07/2023 05:10

Ooh I've often wondered what people are thinking about when they stand in front of a painting for ages. I'm convinced some people do it just because that's how they think art is supposed to be appreciated, and in reality are thinking 'ok, so before I go home I need to go to Tesco. Milk, bread, peppers - I'm sure there was something else. What the hell was the other thing??'

ilovesooty · 06/07/2023 05:22

hengelian · 06/07/2023 04:25

I totally agree with you that people should engage with art how they want and there is no 'right' way. Not sure what I said that made you think I don't believe that. I would never hush a family with kids!

But she actually stopped me from engaging with it the way I wanted. And yes, I guess I did judge her a bit because she just wanted a shot for instagram and then swiftly moved on. I think it's a shame that she didn't actually engage with the art work at all other than through her phone. I find it a really sad thing about our modern culture and one of the early posters who said about the Mona Lisa, I feel the same. I think the Mona Lisa must be the saddest painting in the world because no one ever looks at it anymore, they just snap it and move on.

So yes of course you can engage with art however you want... but I don't really think she was engaging with it at all... I think she was engaging with instagram! And regardless, you shoudn't interrupt others.

Show quote history

Well you should have said no then.

If you'd refused her request that would have been understandable.

Why agree and then be bloody rude?

ButImNotOldEnough · 06/07/2023 05:23

The situation didn’t call for rudeness, very few situations do. However she was also rude so neither if you did great and it’s likely you both walked away from that encounter feeling a bit deflated.

TyrannasaurusJex · 06/07/2023 05:26

oh come off it, this is a joke surely??

Poppins2016 · 06/07/2023 05:36

*I think it's a shame that she didn't actually engage with the art work at all other than through her phone. I find it a really sad thing about our modern culture and one of the early posters who said about the Mona Lisa, I feel the same. I think the Mona Lisa must be the saddest painting in the world because no one ever looks at it anymore, they just snap it and move on.

So yes of course you can engage with art however you want... but I don't really think she was engaging with it at all...*

Arguably, engaging through using a phone is still engaging, though? And although you feel your way of engaging is more valuable and meaningful (to you), she probably feels as though her way is more valuable and meaningful (to her)? I don't think there's a right or wrong, here...

electriclight · 06/07/2023 05:42

It's not the same as someone interrupting you at the cinema at all. If someone asks you a question at the cinema, and you then take the time to answer and comply, you've missed a chunk of movie that you can't rewatch.

If someone had spoken to you to say something insightful, or to comment that they loved the way you were engaging with the art, or to tell you that they were the artist, you wouldn't be cross. You're cross because someone you look down on had the temerity to interrupt you.

I've only taken one photo with a piece of art. My mum wanted to see it and we planned the trip together but in the end she wasn't well and couldn't make it.

You don't know why she wanted the photo and regardless of reason, you are an impolite and insufferable snob.

noglow · 06/07/2023 05:44

Art galleries aren't there for photos, they are there for you to look and experience. that's how she was choosing to experience it though. If you want to keep the arts alive I think you need to learn to tolerate people who don't behave as you think they should. I get that she interrupted your experience but she probably didn't get that your experience involves being uninterrupted.

montysma1 · 06/07/2023 05:44

Pretentious fart.

ARareKindaBear · 06/07/2023 05:50

Duvetdweller · 05/07/2023 22:27

Were you screaming at it?

Was hoping to see this here 😂

ARareKindaBear · 06/07/2023 05:58

You’d hate me OP … I took this in the Louvre 😝

To be rude to this woman in an art gallery
ARareKindaBear · 06/07/2023 06:01

I took this one a year or so later. It was a bit naughty as you’re not meant to take photos here but there was some fucker screaming at it when you’re meant to be silent so I didn’t think a quick photo would be too much of an issue

Sunflowering · 06/07/2023 06:12

ARareKindaBear · 06/07/2023 05:58

You’d hate me OP … I took this in the Louvre 😝

I’ll never understand this- time you could have spent looking at the Mona Lisa you instead spent taking a crap photo of the Mona Lisa, when (much better) images of that picture are readily available online, in the postcard shop etc. I mean, obviously you’re free to do it if you want but why?

MaybeWednesday · 06/07/2023 06:13

Smoothiecarton · 05/07/2023 23:17

And personally if I go to a gallery that’s full of teenagers on school trips, talking about how shit it all is and how they could do that, and mad toddlers whose parents use the art gallery for the café and the clean toilets… I think yes! That place is really doing a good job! Because that gallery is enticing a full cross section of the population, not just the privileged few.
Galleries that don’t manage this are really failing at their cultural responsibility. If a gallery is bringing the Instagram crowd who are there for the likes, fabulous, they’ve managed to tap in to a different demographic!

Omg I love this. It made me well up (no I'm not the screamer).

It is truly from someone who loves and appreciate art. What a lovely post.

ARareKindaBear · 06/07/2023 06:16

Sunflowering · 06/07/2023 06:12

I’ll never understand this- time you could have spent looking at the Mona Lisa you instead spent taking a crap photo of the Mona Lisa, when (much better) images of that picture are readily available online, in the postcard shop etc. I mean, obviously you’re free to do it if you want but why?

Show quote history

Bragging rights on social media 🤷‍♀️ 😂

no truth is i make photo albums of my travels (I’m old fashioned and still like to look through physical photos) and I wanted the photo to add to this album

TommyNever · 06/07/2023 06:16

Angelil · 06/07/2023 03:37

Literally amazed that 75% of people here (at the time of writing) think you were being unreasonable. Has Covid/the advent of smartphones made people lose all decorum? People need to stop taking photos in museums. The flash can ruin fragile paintings over time, the sound (which most people seem to leave on for some reason?!) is INCREDIBLY annoying, it interrupts the experience of others (which is rude), and what are you even going to do with the photo afterwards? I guarantee you will never look at it again AND it will be far lower quality than any postcard you can buy in the gift shop (which you should be doing in order to support the arts).
so I’m with you OP. YANBU.

Getting back to reality, this is mountains out of molehills territory.

Had I been the subject of such of request, I'd have felt mildly annoyed but would have taken the snap with a smile. Because life's too short for petty-minded rudeness.