New bf diagnosed with genital warts ... what to do?

[whatnextplease]

We decided to have sti testing before becoming intimate. He went to get tested and has four genital warts at the base of his penis. He is completely shocked and very very upset. He has been in a relationship of 18 months until recently where he felt that she may have cheated but she has a history of affairs with many married men. I knew this before the testing etc.
previous to this he gave blood regularly so I expect that he would have been informed of any abnormality found , after the donations.
he never saw them as they were under the hair but felt one and thought it was a skin tag.
They've been burnt off and he awaits results of all other tests.
What do I do here ?
Døo I finish with him? Would you?
Surely sex is unsafe now even with condoms .

OP can bin a guy for any reason she wants, no one is owed a girlfriend and sex, no matter how many genital warts they have.

Of course she can. But OP seems to like him or she wouldn't be posting. People who have no clue what they're talking about act as though having had HPV somehow makes you a cheater that clearly shags everyone, when they themselves and their non sexually active toddlers have probably had HPV on several occasions.

OP should be talking to a specialist if she wants to continue the relationship about the risks, not listening to mumsnetters saying she's going to die of cervical cancer if she has sex with someone that has genital warts despite the fact it categorically cannot be transmitted like that.

So many of these comments are horrible and very ill-informed. The vast majority of the sexually active population will get HPV of some kind at some point. Any sexual contact, with or without a condom, can spread it. You can catch HPV from anyone who has the virus, even if they show no symptoms. You can then carry this HPV with no symptoms.

I personally developed genital warts years ago, I was with a long term partner, and had been for a while. He didn't have any signs or symptoms, so I could have caught HPV from him or a previous partner. They were removed and they've not returned (13 years ago). I was told at the time that they don't even advise contacting ex partners because it's not trackable or treatable (only the physical warts are treated, not the virus itself) and SO common.

However, would all of you saying to dump him, feel the same way about someone who had previously been in a relationship with someone who had cervical cancer? Because some HPV can also lead to that. So surely if the warts are so gross, cervical cancer is too, right?

@AlphabettySoop this thread has been dormant for months. You must REALLY care about genital warts to dredge it up again!

@Seddon the posts must flare up when the thread revivers warts do.

Close, having recently found out I need to get pre cancerous cells removed I've been searching for HPV related things online and then Mumsnet sent this thread as a push notification. Didn't notice the date but y'know, pre-occupied I guess💁

I’d just move on as you would probably feel worried and uncomfortable now. Plus genital warts in women… the hpv virus. Can’t it lead to gynae problems for women and increase the likelihood of cervical cancer and problems related to conception? What if it’s transmitted to an unborn child…
That’s why secondary school age girls are offered vaccinations now against HPV. Alternatively you could speak to an STF councillor to make a more informed decision. But frankly, I’d not get intimate with this guy and end the relationship.

I don't understand how this confirms she was cheating?

I think just the fact that they're still texting and she's begging for him back would be enough drama for me to walk away, forget the warts for a second. What's that all about why is he even indulging her messages?
But back to the warts, Id feel so bad for him and not think less of him but wouldn't blame you if it put you off.

Once again, misinformation there.

HPV is a virus with a huge number of strains - over 200. The ones that cause gential warts categorically do not cause cervical cancer. They cannot infect the cells of the cervix, its a different type of skin. Same as the HPV that causes warts on your hands and feet (veruccas). They also don't cause cervical cancer. Most people have had a form of HPV, even young children. If your child gets a verruca you treat it and its sorted. You don't go around declaring your childs verruca history.

The original HPV vaccination was against the strains highest risk for causing cervical cancers (HPVs 16 and 18). As time has gone on the vaccine has been developed to include more "high-risk" strains which can cause cancers and has now started to include some "low risk" strains that cause genital warts.

I would dump because this is ringing alarm bells for me:

He has been in a relationship of 18 months until recently where he felt that she may have cheated but she has a history of affairs with many married men.

It might be true but the way he is very clearly positioned as the victim, fresh out of a relationship and it almost sounds derogatory of her character rather than brushing over how it ended in the first instance...I dont know, it feels too much too fast and my spidey senses are tingling.

So, did he carry on seeing when she ‘regularly blacked out through alcohol’ and had sex?

My rapist gave them to me. I had them treated and they have never come back in 32yrs. I am too old to have had the HPV vaccine, if you have had the vaccine you will be protected from any strain that causes cervical cancer so catching genital warts isn’t as big a deal as it was for those of us who never got the vaccine.

It is one of the most common STIs out there, so there shouldn’t be shame or feeling he is a leper. Im glad my DH was ok with them as I already felt like damaged goods kwim? Not a pleasant thing to think about.

Whatnextplease
Genital warts are caused by the human papilloma virus (HPV) . Which means its highly infectious. I found out I had it when I had my smear test.