11 year old very upset about sports day

[Zombieof3]

My 11 year old suffers badly with anxiety. Sports day to her is a day of hell. She spend an hour last year crying in the school toilets as she couldn’t deal with everyone watching.

Tomorrow is sports day, she has already spent the evening sobbing. She hates the idea of everyone watching her and competing, she said she doesn’t feel good enough and it’s too much pressure for her.

She is currently being diagnosed for autism and I know this is very hard for her.

I honestly don’t know what to do, I can’t keep her home and I don’t feel like she should be made to do something that is going to make her unwell.

This isn’t really AIBU post but I was hoping for advice asap as I don’t know what to do. Shall I speak with the school in the morning to explain the situation and ask them not to make her partake and perhaps she can help in other ways?

Then you are lucky, @Terryer.

I am still negatively impacted by things that happened at school, and I’m nearly 60. I was bullied for 6 years (and not being sporty was one of the reasons I was bullied, I’m sure), and have life long depression.

Are you proud of how uncaring, ableist and unempathetic you are? Do you think it is a good thing that you cannot appreciate how something that doesn’t bother you might be really unpleasant for someone else, especially someone like @Zombieof3‘s dd who faces an uphill battle on a normal school day, let alone Sports Day.

I agree with the previous posters who have said that, for us sporty kids, school sports can, and often do sow the seeds of a lifetime’s dislike of sports.

Mumsnet is obsessed with sports day. It always has been. Luckily I know noone in RL that ever made such a big deal about it. If the OP wants to skip it, then skip it.

Mumsnet is obsessed with sports day. It always has been. Luckily I know noone in RL that ever made such a big deal about it. If the OP wants to skip it, then skip it.

Nah that's just an excuse for getting into a stupid spat on the internet.

I'm not obsessed and I don't know anybody in RL either " obsessed with sports day" but hey it doesn't stop me empathising.

You're just pissy no one agrees with you.

l

This is my son to a tee. Also has ASD and suspected dyspraxia so is really not good at anything physical.

I've let him miss a few and encouraged him to do a few as I try to get him to see that the kids who are sporty but not so good in class also feel awkward and embarrassed when eg reading aloud to the class.

That said, if your DD is very upset, didn't cope well last year and her worry is the audience element then I think I'd let her stay home for the day.

Having lots of people clapping and cheering can be really overwhelming for an autistic person.