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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else feels like the covid era is a bad dream

545 replies

23rMarch2020 · 04/07/2023 12:41

Whenever I think of 2020 or 2021 it just doesn’t feel real at all. The lockdowns for months on end, the clapping for the NHS, the track and trace system, entire school years being sent home because a single case was discovered, panic buying, people developing intricate methods of sanitising their shopping, public shaming of rule breakers, religious holidays being stopped at very short notice. It’s all so bizarre to think of that this was in our country so recently and, really, there’s nothing to stop any of it happening again. In so many ways it just feels like a different world, my DS who had his GCSE’s cancelled is about to go off to uni (if he gets the grades 🤞) and my then little year 7 DD is doing her own GCSE’s next year. I guess my Aibu is to ask if anyone else feels so totally disconnected from that era to the extent it’s all like a bad dream?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
SamW98 · 05/07/2023 16:07

Delatron · 05/07/2023 15:56

I’ve had 3 vaccinations and I’m done with them. Not anti vax but I wouldn’t have any more. Not now my own immune system seems to recognise and fight Covid. There is also a genetic element to your response and nobody in my family (even the elderly) have had anything more than a bad cold. No lasting effects .

I definitely wouldn’t be holding out any hope for a more effective vaccine (the ones we have a great for preventing serious disease in a novel virus).

I had 2 vaccines and both of them I felt like shit. The second I had a reaction bad enough to call 111 - and I’m not the type to ever go to a doctors unless it’s serious.
The week I was sent a letter for my booster, I tested positive for covid. I had a cold. Not even a bad cold, just a normal winter cold. Had my work not insisting on testing at the point I would have had no idea I had it.
That was when I decided no more jabs for me.

Ive never worn a mark since, go to social events, pubs, restaurants, travel on public transport and planes and several times a year go to music festivals with 15000+ others. Not had a hint of a sniffle since.

And yes I know someone who passed away from Covid, others who were hospitalised and have friends with long covid but life goes on and we had to move forward and accept the risk otherwise we live a life in fear and that’s not the life I want

Nordicrain · 05/07/2023 16:14

I kind of agree. It does feel completely surreal and almost like a distant and bad dream.

But, despite being really lucky in that we didn't have financial issues or health concerns or anything like that I sometimes reflect on what we lost and what we still carry. I have some kind of weird PTSD from the stress of trying to work with two kids at home, and the parent that made me, the impact it had on my relationshup with DH. DD9 has had some issues at school this year which definitely stem from that time. we are a country are still bearing the cost of the pandemic and lockdowns. We were going to have a third baby but put it off with everything that happened and now I don't think it ever will. i put on over a stone in lockdown that I can't shift. All, relatively, little things but they are still present.

mortgagequandary · 05/07/2023 16:17

I feel like I lost a year of my life.

StormShadow · 05/07/2023 16:19

OwlHop · 05/07/2023 16:05

@Delatron erm, I used fear when replying to a person saying no reason to fear Covid more than norovirus etc.
but I have also explained repeatedly that I am living a normal life. My whole family are.
The only adjustment is that I pop on a proper respirator mask when I am in a shop or on a tube/plane watching a show and you presumably don’t. That’s not a lock down. That is not living in fear. That is literally putting something protective on my face when sharing air with random people. It serves me well. It works. Shame so many folk seem so scared to protect themselves because of, presumably, conformity anxiety or post-lockdown trauma or lack of knowledge about what repeat bouts of Covid does to the body.

I also have airbags in my car and wear a seatbelt. I use an umbrella when it rains. Wear a cycle helmet when cycling.
Risk assessment includes reasonable protective and realistic adjustments.
NBD.

It isn't a shame that people have a different risk benefit analysis to you. I have said the same thing to those who think yours is a bad thing too. None of us are the ultimate arbiter of what other people's priorities should be.

Delatron · 05/07/2023 16:25

OwlHop · 05/07/2023 16:05

@Delatron erm, I used fear when replying to a person saying no reason to fear Covid more than norovirus etc.
but I have also explained repeatedly that I am living a normal life. My whole family are.
The only adjustment is that I pop on a proper respirator mask when I am in a shop or on a tube/plane watching a show and you presumably don’t. That’s not a lock down. That is not living in fear. That is literally putting something protective on my face when sharing air with random people. It serves me well. It works. Shame so many folk seem so scared to protect themselves because of, presumably, conformity anxiety or post-lockdown trauma or lack of knowledge about what repeat bouts of Covid does to the body.

I also have airbags in my car and wear a seatbelt. I use an umbrella when it rains. Wear a cycle helmet when cycling.
Risk assessment includes reasonable protective and realistic adjustments.
NBD.

So strange you are in the minority then… Good luck to you, it’s not a life I would want to lead. You said you never go inside a pub or restaurant- to me that’s not living a normal life. It’s not the masks - it’s the restrictions on socialising normally. So you would never go to an indoor party I guess?

You are playing this down by saying ‘it’s just masks on planes’ when it’s not is it? Ever have people over to dinner? Ever go over to someone’s house to dinner? What do you do in the Winter? Never go inside anywhere without a mask? I’ve don’t know anyone who behaves like this. Even clinically ‘vulnerable’.

You do you but don’t make out that it isn’t a big deal.

bozzabollix · 05/07/2023 16:27

This ‘clot shot’ term is ridiculous.

Those using it, do you know how clotted the blood was in intensive care patients with Covid? My husband described it as being like lumpy syrup. He worked with them, and the later waves were primarily amongst the unvaccinated, all of whom were begging for their ‘clot shots’ while suffering with severe Covid.

People have either forgotten or never knew in the first place just how dire patients were in hospital. The vaccine made a massive improvement.

sunglassesonthetable · 05/07/2023 16:30

Just listened to 'Covid Memories' The NHS at 75 ' on R4.

Insightful and moving.

To ask if anyone else feels like the covid era is a bad dream
StormShadow · 05/07/2023 16:31

Yes, speaking as someone who's concerned about the harms of lockdown and remains to be convinced about whether it was the best option or not, shit like clot shot just makes me stop listening to you. And if I won't, the people who were pro restrictions certainly won't.

Delatron · 05/07/2023 16:34

SamW98 · 05/07/2023 16:07

I had 2 vaccines and both of them I felt like shit. The second I had a reaction bad enough to call 111 - and I’m not the type to ever go to a doctors unless it’s serious.
The week I was sent a letter for my booster, I tested positive for covid. I had a cold. Not even a bad cold, just a normal winter cold. Had my work not insisting on testing at the point I would have had no idea I had it.
That was when I decided no more jabs for me.

Ive never worn a mark since, go to social events, pubs, restaurants, travel on public transport and planes and several times a year go to music festivals with 15000+ others. Not had a hint of a sniffle since.

And yes I know someone who passed away from Covid, others who were hospitalised and have friends with long covid but life goes on and we had to move forward and accept the risk otherwise we live a life in fear and that’s not the life I want

Show quote history

Exactly, I would not want to live a life in fear.

I haven’t had so much as a sniffle for a good 7 months now (and that was a mild 2 day cold). Despite repeated travel, being around ill people, going to gigs. And living a full life without giving Covid a second thought. Amazing what a strong immune system can do..

Those that hide away from germs may not fair so well well they inevitably come in contact with something they have built up zero immunity to. There’s reason babies get 6 colds a year. Then they build up immunity. Living in a sterile bubble is not good for us!

dreamingofskeggie · 05/07/2023 16:40

and the later waves were primarily amongst the unvaccinated

Bollocks were they. In countries around the world, the proportion of deaths was universally higher in the vaccinated - not just the overall numbers. In Scotland, for example, around 87% of Covid deaths were of the vaccinated, in a country where only around 73% of people were vaxxed. This story was repeated around the world, and is exactly why these statistics stopped being published every week by PHS. They were an embarrassing indictment of the vaccines' failure.

Leapintothelightning · 05/07/2023 16:52

I had DD1 2 days before lockdown. My whole maternity leave was spent under some form of restrictions. I never got to take her to a baby group (apart from baby sensory with distance and masks so very little point to it!) Nobody met her until she was 3 months old. It was so strange and absolutely miserable at the time but I look at that now 3yo and I really struggle to believe it actually happened!

OwlHop · 05/07/2023 17:00

@Delatron
if you’re that interested, here’s what we do in order to continue living our lives happily and freely and not getting repeatedly sick.

pub/restaurant/coffee shop: sit outside. If it’s bad weather, get takeout. If need to go in from the beer garden, slip on a mask to order or use WC. Literally nobody cares.
Eating inside restaurants is not that big a deal. And it’s expensive.

shop/theatre/cinema/gallery/concert - wear a ffp3 mask and enjoy

plane/train/tube - wear a ffp3 mask and travel like anyone else

dinner/drinks - yes we have friends over and go to friends houses. We run a HEPA filter and use cross current ventilation as well when we do. We have CV and disabled friends who are grateful we take precautions.
we also hang out with friends in parks a lot with friends with dogs and kids.

kid DS 14 hangs out at the skatepark & wears a mask at school by his choice, or has his best friend over to play video games and make videos. His best friend’s mum is having chemo. His best friend also masks. Some of the other kids also started masking last term because they didn’t want to be sick and were fed up with the waves of illness going through the class and solidarity.

The risk is small (infection) when hanging out inside in people’s homes but still there, however it is a world of difference mingling with friends who are happy to test or cancel if they feel ‘off’ versus inhaling the shared air of hundreds of strangers when it’s likely several are infectious and it’s airborne and almost nobody is taking precautions.

exercise - walk, run, cycle, do yoga & Pilates at home with videos. Saves a fortune.

work - still WFH. Meetings - if I need to go in I wear my comfortable respirator and the office is generally pretty empty. I love WFH and so does DH. He goes in to the office once a week and yep, wears his ffp.

none of us have had Covid
we are really grateful for this and the privilege we have of being able to avoid it
and as I said, we have friends who have been disabled by it, and who have died, and we honour them by taking it seriously and living mindfully.

Losingmyusername · 05/07/2023 17:14

Oh I fucking loved the lockdown for me personally. Nice doing a bit of cooking and eating in the garden. But my poor children, no social, no school, nothing. Not even a trip to the playground. Absolutely batshit to think that could possibly be beneficial to a child. Or affordable to the economy.

SunnyEgg · 05/07/2023 17:20

OwlHop · 05/07/2023 17:00

@Delatron
if you’re that interested, here’s what we do in order to continue living our lives happily and freely and not getting repeatedly sick.

pub/restaurant/coffee shop: sit outside. If it’s bad weather, get takeout. If need to go in from the beer garden, slip on a mask to order or use WC. Literally nobody cares.
Eating inside restaurants is not that big a deal. And it’s expensive.

shop/theatre/cinema/gallery/concert - wear a ffp3 mask and enjoy

plane/train/tube - wear a ffp3 mask and travel like anyone else

dinner/drinks - yes we have friends over and go to friends houses. We run a HEPA filter and use cross current ventilation as well when we do. We have CV and disabled friends who are grateful we take precautions.
we also hang out with friends in parks a lot with friends with dogs and kids.

kid DS 14 hangs out at the skatepark & wears a mask at school by his choice, or has his best friend over to play video games and make videos. His best friend’s mum is having chemo. His best friend also masks. Some of the other kids also started masking last term because they didn’t want to be sick and were fed up with the waves of illness going through the class and solidarity.

The risk is small (infection) when hanging out inside in people’s homes but still there, however it is a world of difference mingling with friends who are happy to test or cancel if they feel ‘off’ versus inhaling the shared air of hundreds of strangers when it’s likely several are infectious and it’s airborne and almost nobody is taking precautions.

exercise - walk, run, cycle, do yoga & Pilates at home with videos. Saves a fortune.

work - still WFH. Meetings - if I need to go in I wear my comfortable respirator and the office is generally pretty empty. I love WFH and so does DH. He goes in to the office once a week and yep, wears his ffp.

none of us have had Covid
we are really grateful for this and the privilege we have of being able to avoid it
and as I said, we have friends who have been disabled by it, and who have died, and we honour them by taking it seriously and living mindfully.

A mask will stop someone spreading it (not sure if it does that even) than catching it so your 14 year old has likely had it anyway

The school environment is a place where dc get it, it can’t be controlled

You may have all had it asymptomatically by now.

I barely had symptoms

Nesbi · 05/07/2023 17:39

dreamingofskeggie · 05/07/2023 16:40

and the later waves were primarily amongst the unvaccinated

Bollocks were they. In countries around the world, the proportion of deaths was universally higher in the vaccinated - not just the overall numbers. In Scotland, for example, around 87% of Covid deaths were of the vaccinated, in a country where only around 73% of people were vaxxed. This story was repeated around the world, and is exactly why these statistics stopped being published every week by PHS. They were an embarrassing indictment of the vaccines' failure.

You clearly have a strong anti-vax bias, but I’m not sure if you are deliberately trying to spread misinformation or if you are just one of the many people who trawl the web searching for “statistics” which you feel confirm you in your biases and which you then regurgitate on websites like this without bothering to question the deeper context of what you’ve read.

If you did question it, or if you weren’t so clearly pushing an agenda you might have mentioned that the statistics you’re referring to indicated that 8 out of every 100,000 fully vaccinated people were hospitalised, as compared to 15 out of every 100,000 unvaccinated people.

Best ignore that bit though!

theresalwaysguineapigcurry · 05/07/2023 17:55

@OwlHop I think this seems quite extreme. Your teenager is likely to pick up some anxieties due to your over cautiousness. There just aren't loads (any?) teenagers wearing masks now and I can't imagine that it allows interactions with peers to happen in a normal manner. What about the effect of breathing in your own breath for long amounts of time?

dreamingofskeggie · 05/07/2023 17:57

Nesbi · 05/07/2023 17:39

You clearly have a strong anti-vax bias, but I’m not sure if you are deliberately trying to spread misinformation or if you are just one of the many people who trawl the web searching for “statistics” which you feel confirm you in your biases and which you then regurgitate on websites like this without bothering to question the deeper context of what you’ve read.

If you did question it, or if you weren’t so clearly pushing an agenda you might have mentioned that the statistics you’re referring to indicated that 8 out of every 100,000 fully vaccinated people were hospitalised, as compared to 15 out of every 100,000 unvaccinated people.

Best ignore that bit though!

Show quote history

You also may want to ignore the part that regarded people within two weeks of their most recent vaccination - precisely the time period within which you're most likely to have an adverse reaction - as "unvaccinated".

This obviously had dramatic implications on statistics such as the ones you quote above.

SunnyEgg · 05/07/2023 17:58

theresalwaysguineapigcurry · 05/07/2023 17:55

@OwlHop I think this seems quite extreme. Your teenager is likely to pick up some anxieties due to your over cautiousness. There just aren't loads (any?) teenagers wearing masks now and I can't imagine that it allows interactions with peers to happen in a normal manner. What about the effect of breathing in your own breath for long amounts of time?

I do feel sorry for a 14 year old wearing a mask in school

ALongHardWinter · 05/07/2023 18:02

Yes it does seem like a bit of a nightmare when I look back at it. I was classed as 'clinically vulnerable' so I didn't go out at all during the first lockdown. I only saw my DD or my DGD for a few minutes at a distance when they dropped food etc round to me. I don't know how I coped with it really. I'm quite happy with my own company,but 3 months on my own was really stretching it! Glad it's all over now. I must admit that I was rather worried that the 'powers that be' were going to get used to giving their orders to the general public and things like queueing outside shops and public toilets being closed was going to become the 'new normal'. Give anyone a little bit of power..... you know the rest.

Nesbi · 05/07/2023 18:24

@dreamingofskeggie - your response show unequivocally that you are exactly the reason why independent fact checkers now have to exist - the sort of person who will continually spread lies and misinformation on forums to fuel fear and push your agenda. I bet you are all over Facebook pushing this stuff too.

Teaching our kids not to get sucked in by people who stalk the internet like this is absolutely essential to our future.

Zebedee55 · 05/07/2023 18:31

ALongHardWinter · 05/07/2023 18:02

Yes it does seem like a bit of a nightmare when I look back at it. I was classed as 'clinically vulnerable' so I didn't go out at all during the first lockdown. I only saw my DD or my DGD for a few minutes at a distance when they dropped food etc round to me. I don't know how I coped with it really. I'm quite happy with my own company,but 3 months on my own was really stretching it! Glad it's all over now. I must admit that I was rather worried that the 'powers that be' were going to get used to giving their orders to the general public and things like queueing outside shops and public toilets being closed was going to become the 'new normal'. Give anyone a little bit of power..... you know the rest.

Yes, I was like you. Vulnerable and shielded. I moaned constantly. However, my DH died of Covid in April, this year, and I now realise how trivial my moaning was.🙁

SamW98 · 05/07/2023 18:33

I must admit that I was rather worried that the 'powers that be' were going to get used to giving their orders to the general public and things like queueing outside shops and public toilets being closed was going to become the 'new normal'. Give anyone a little bit of power..... you know the rest.

I remember when that woman from SAGE said that we had to all accept that Facemasks and Social Distancing are the new normal and should be written into law forever.

Thankfully just another control freak who likes the sound of her own voice but I remember my heart sinking and hoping it wouldn’t happen.

User106487665 · 05/07/2023 18:34

I was retired with no DC so it didn't make that much difference apart from the things that were shut. We still went out and saw a few people, similar to what we do now

Delatron · 05/07/2023 18:51

OwlHop · 05/07/2023 17:00

@Delatron
if you’re that interested, here’s what we do in order to continue living our lives happily and freely and not getting repeatedly sick.

pub/restaurant/coffee shop: sit outside. If it’s bad weather, get takeout. If need to go in from the beer garden, slip on a mask to order or use WC. Literally nobody cares.
Eating inside restaurants is not that big a deal. And it’s expensive.

shop/theatre/cinema/gallery/concert - wear a ffp3 mask and enjoy

plane/train/tube - wear a ffp3 mask and travel like anyone else

dinner/drinks - yes we have friends over and go to friends houses. We run a HEPA filter and use cross current ventilation as well when we do. We have CV and disabled friends who are grateful we take precautions.
we also hang out with friends in parks a lot with friends with dogs and kids.

kid DS 14 hangs out at the skatepark & wears a mask at school by his choice, or has his best friend over to play video games and make videos. His best friend’s mum is having chemo. His best friend also masks. Some of the other kids also started masking last term because they didn’t want to be sick and were fed up with the waves of illness going through the class and solidarity.

The risk is small (infection) when hanging out inside in people’s homes but still there, however it is a world of difference mingling with friends who are happy to test or cancel if they feel ‘off’ versus inhaling the shared air of hundreds of strangers when it’s likely several are infectious and it’s airborne and almost nobody is taking precautions.

exercise - walk, run, cycle, do yoga & Pilates at home with videos. Saves a fortune.

work - still WFH. Meetings - if I need to go in I wear my comfortable respirator and the office is generally pretty empty. I love WFH and so does DH. He goes in to the office once a week and yep, wears his ffp.

none of us have had Covid
we are really grateful for this and the privilege we have of being able to avoid it
and as I said, we have friends who have been disabled by it, and who have died, and we honour them by taking it seriously and living mindfully.

Oh I was worried you had passed on your irrational fears to your kids. Shame.

Delatron · 05/07/2023 18:54

It’s not a good thing to have never had Covid (unless you’re one of those that are naturally immune). You have zero immunity and it’s going nowhere. Both my children had it asymptomatically, maybe many time who knows.. And have avoided it since. Without measures that impact their lives.