To not work full time?

[Lazym]

I have two children 16 and 12. Since my oldest turned 7 months I have worked part time. I cleaned in the evening for 8 years and for last 7 1/2 years I've worked in a supermarket 4 mornings a week, 4 - 8. Obviously when kids were younger this worked out well as I was back home for the school run and partner went to work. My youngest started secondary in September, so now childcare costs aren't an issue I've had comments from partner about finding a full time job. My point is I enjoy my job and am good at it so why should I leave this job to potentially start a job I could hate? The job I have doesn't have full time hours. I contribute to the household financially, pay for two weeks of food shopping every month and pretty much pay for all of the kids needs/clothes. One example, just spent £200 on my lad for his prom, partner paid nothing. So I work and do the usual household chores cook, clean, washing etc. Partner is very money obsessed, but I feel I pay my way too. From when they were very young he's always swanned off and done his own thing, leaving me to it. Another issue with working full time is my lad will be starting college in sept and he'll need a lift to the train station which is 6 miles away and collecting, so how am I supposed to do that? Just needed an opinion. Can never reason with partner as he's never wrong.

Well you shouldn’t be paying a penny towards his house anyway.

So tell me how marriage is ‘protection’ when you live in a rental or council house? And how does it work if your house is down sh*t street and worth less then £200k and by the time you’ve divorced you still have £150k left on the mortgage to pay?

This. ^ The hideously incorrect information and 'advice' @Mumtothreegirlies is giving is both giving me the rage AND worrying me. I am worried some women on here will believe her utter bullshit. The 'advice 'is very damaging.

And the stupidity continues. I give up, women are their own worst enemies.

This is a great question

Oh FFS @Mumtothreegirlies being married isn't just about getting dibs on a fucking massive house! Stop talking utter drivel! I am ignoring you now. You are talking SUCH NONSENSE!

Me too @PurpleButterflyWings

My house is worth less than 200k. It's not down shit street though. What a disgusting thing to say.

I'd keep the job I liked and maybe pick up a few hours in another job? What about something from home?

Oh God even @ItsBarbieBitchhhh is being reeled in now.

The correct advise would be to tell OP to make sure her name is on that house. Not to tell OP to get married.

OMG, I missed that. She seriously said a house worth less than £200K is going to be shit, and in a shit area?! She goes from bad to worse!

I understand that MN is a discussion forum but it really is interesting to see people going back and forth for AGES. Don’t you have anything better to do?!😂

I made one comment now you want to go back and forth with me. I don’t have time for that sorry!

If you're married or in a civil partnership, you're able automatically take over the tenancy if your partner dies if you're in a council house (in most areas - I can't speak for all). This doesn't apply if you're not married or in a civil partnership.

This is such a self own. You clearly think marriage doesn't provide protection in these circumstances. It does!

When your partner has a council or HA tenancy, marrying them gives you more rights. the tenancy is treated sort of like an asset of the marriage and the court can make an order that it goes to one partner on that basis. Even if that spouse weren't the one who had the tenancy first.

Shelter have good info about this.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_married_sole_tenants

For homeowners, when a couple are married and divorce, that 50k equity is an asset of the marriage and can be split even if only one of them owns it (incidentally, my house is worth about 200k, love the shit street comment). Whereas when they're not married and only one owns it, like in OPs case, the only option to try and get a share of the equity is an expensive TOLATA claim with strict conditions. Good luck with that one if you've only got 50k equity.

It’s depends where you live. I wasn’t being derogatory about cheap houses. But If your house is worth less then £200k and you still have a mortgage then there’s not a lot left to split if you divorce is there. Ultimately you’d still have to go through the rigmarole of buying somewhere with the peanuts you’ve been left with and he tied into a lifetime of back breaking work to pay a ridiculous mortgage you may never see the day of ever paying off

Bye then.

WTF have I just read? If the OP were married, and her husband see left her, she'd get half the value of the house equity, half his savings, and half his pension. That's just as a starting point, she could get spousal support too if she could demonstrate to a divorce court that he career had suffered whilst raising their children, and she has enabled him to progress in his career at her expense, whilst raising those children. How on Earth would that make no difference to the OPs life? As it stands, if the husband leaves her tomorrow, she'll have nothing, precisely because she isn't married, and her name is not on the house. Marriage offers more protection than just being on the house, because she'd legally be entitled to half of everything, not just the house. It may not matter if the husband was penniless with no house and no savings, but that is not the case here.

Hear hear @Hayliebells

How exactly is she going to do that? She can't force her partner to put her name on the house, any more than she can force him to marry her.

You were being derogatory @Mumtothreegirlies And you're wrong.

Separate finances can work very well for some couples. It works well for us but we also both work full time and do our fair share at home so there's no resentment.

I don't think OP's partner is a high earner for some reason, if she's had to take cleaning jobs in the evenings and work part time in a supermarket for the last 15 years. Even if he has little equity in his house it would still be beneficial for the OP to be either on the mortgage, or married. Having something if the partner up and leaves is better than nothing.

It takes minutes to post something. Sometimes even less.

It's possible to be doing other things at the same time.

Having a marriage certificate won’t make a nice new council house appear ready for you to move into. The house stays with the parent who has the children the most and the other parent moves out and either has to go into rental or wait 10 years for a home to become available. This happens married or not.
if OP gets chucked out she’ll be in band 1 and in fact she’ll be in a much better situation top of the list for council housing on the next available property (as she has no assets) . Life long tenancy all care paid for when she gets old. Vs having to work her butt off and sell the house when she’s old to pay for her care. Sorry just being honest