Wedding abroad with a 7mo - AIBU?

[JustAnotherOpinion123]

This week a close family member has announced that they will be getting married abroad in a years time and wants the whole family to attend. They have managed to get a 2 week all inclusive package for wedding attendees which was cost approx 1500 each.

My issue is that I'm currently pregnant with my first child and finding it difficult to decide whether it's feasible for us to attend with a 6mo - I'm mostly in camp 'no this isn't feasible' but family are making me feel like I'm being dramatic.

Pros: actually not a bad deal price wise for the location, family time, a great adventure with little one, great location, getting to see close family member get married, my parents will be there to help with baby, in a years time so got time to save up money

Cons: 6hr flight with a 7mo, first time parents so have absolutely no idea what to expect, I'll be on half maternity pay by that point and dh is self employed so will cost us extra to accommodate his loss of earnings for the time away, also extra costs as we'll need extra luggage for baby (but no idea at this point how much extra luggage because first time parents) - off the top of my head.

My parents have suggested we consider doing a week instead of 2 which will reduce the amount of time we're off any sort of baby routine, the amount dh is out of work and hopefully reduces the cost of the package (though probably not significantly), but I still feel like it's going to be very stressful with a baby. Getting some serious guilting from family- lots of "only opportunity for us all to get together", "you've got ages to save up" and "only wedding they'll have" sort of thing but I just think it's going to be way too stressful both from a financial and baby perspective. Its also not a short haul destination that we could just come home from if it all starts going wrong (and would cost us even more to rearrange flights back)

AIBU?

(AIBU - it's completely feasible to take a 7mo to a wedding abroad, you're being dramatic
YANBU - you're mad for even considering this)

Unless you can't afford it you're being ridiculous.

Honestly you'll probably have an absolutely lovely time, and ime travelling with babies is a doddle (Obviously any health problems aside), my youngest is 2 and she's been abroad 6 times. It's a great age.

Yep, the car seat issue especially is why I really cba with babies and foreign travel. And as a combi feeder, if I was only breastfeeding I'd feel better about it but I really cba with taking bottles and formula abroad. I know plenty of people do it, but I suppose they must be stronger people than I am because it's a no from me, sorry!

For a sibling, I would definitely do it. One kid, lots of grown ups, sensible age. Should be absolutely fine. There will probably be some annoying bits, but to miss a sibling’s wedding is a big deal, and there will also be really lovely bits!

For some things, yes you're right, I can't look at a 1 month old and gage what they will be like as a 6 month old. I'm not planning to make a decision after it's born to judge how much its crying - I will be basing my decision on 1) the overall health of my child (supposing baby is born prematurely or with a serious health condition that needs treatment in the first 6m of their life?) and 2) every other factor like how me and my dh are adjusting, what our finances are looking like at that point, etc.

Not sure the relevance of your reply to my comment but okay.

You asked what changes after they're born - I've just explained what changes after they're born.

It’s absolutely doable but I wouldn’t want to commit to this while pregnant with first child.

if you are not comfortable and don’t want to do it just say no.

6-7 months is perfect age for this. Hopefully not moving yet..Don't need to faff with food other than the odd bit of fruit from the buffet. Old enough for smiles/predictable naps but young enough to be handed over to family without separation hysteria.

The flight may be painful (dummy is key) but it will end!

I voted for YABU only because travelling with a 6mo is waaaay easier than, say, an 18mo. But money-wise that's totally up to you. I can understand that you'll be on half pay plus all the expense that comes with a first baby (car seat, pram, cot, clothes etc) so it's fairly inconvenient.

But 6hrs on a plane with a baby that can't crawl? Easily done :) You can normally take a car seat and pram for free with an infant, but not sure about luggage rules off the top of my head.

I asked another poster, not you 😂

If you can afford it ... TAKE THE BABY AND HAVE FUN! 6 month old baby is the perfect age to take them on holiday! DS1 was amazing when taken. They still have lots of sleep at that age so will sleep for some time on the plane but also you can entertain them with sucking foods and toys for longer than you can an 18 month old!

Baby will be super happy in a carrier too. Honestly it's a great age to take a baby, way way way easier than any other age. It will be fine and super fun! Routine goes out the window for any age for any child when on holiday. Don't stress, it makes it more fun and babies want to be involved in all the fun too!

Logistically it would be a great time to go on that type of break. Much easier with a 6mo than an 18-30mo.

It won't be an adventure for baby. But might be just what you guys need after 6months of baby life.

Babies don't need much at all. Especially on a sunnny holiday. Highly recommend continuing with breastfeeding until then as will make life so much easier logistically and easy to clear baby ears on flight.

You won't need extra luggage anyway. You may not even need a buggy if you have a sling..... many resorts will provide them as well as a baby cot. And much easier to get across an airport with a sling, rather than a buggy. But each to their own!

Check hire car / transfer agent will provide baby car seat. Otherwise you can take one as hand luggage.

Btw You have no idea what type of parents you Will be. You may not be the routine type. You might be but baby might have other ideas. Certainly should not stop you taking a lovely 2 week family break.

Can you save the £££ now to pay for it? So it's all sorted pre baby? Or ask parents for a contribution as a baby gift?
Otherwise money might be tight at 6mo.......

However. If possible. I'd go for a 2 week holiday and enjoy it.

So YABU about the logistics but YANBU to consider £££.

Go for it!

Like other posters 6 months is an ideal time to travel with baby and with lots of family about you should get some time to yourself which is a rarity with a baby! We have travelled with both of ours from 4 months they both slept better on holiday then they ever did at home and both bf so no issues with sterilisation etc. Some flights have bassinet seats depending on the airline which also makes flying easier.

But if you're concerned that it's going to stretch your finances then of course that's a legitimate reason not to.

I took mine to an American wedding at 3 months and it was wonderful, despite jet lag and an 8 hour delay in JFK on the way there.

Family took him for cuddles whenever I wanted to sleep or have a break. It was so much easier than being home looking after him on our own.

If family aren’t likely to be helpful then I’d be less inclined to go.

Would you go if you didn’t have a baby?

I think yabu in relation to baby but is understandable. We are just back from traveling with our 6 month old. It was a 4hr flight so slightly shorter. He was a dream and slept or played the entire time on both flights. We got a snooze shade for the pram and he took his naps in it and generally was a dote. It was really nice for us having lots of people around because it kept him distracted and felt like we had lots of extra hands. We also massively overpacked you really only need the stuff you'd use here plus sunscreen. But I was really anxious about traveling with him before we did. Now I'd be way more confident. I think 1 week is long enough unless you have access to a washing machine where you're staying.

In terms of the financial side of it yanbu, that's a big financial hit to take and for me it would really depend on how close we were to the bride and groom.

Also just to add. You will inevitably find it a struggle on the plane BUT as a first time mum you will be struggling in some ways at home anyway. So you might as well be struggling whilst abroad with family to help. Honestly, let family help and get involved on the holiday if you go. It will make things so much easier for you all.

If it's about the money, that's fair. Anything else- babies are highly portable at that age, and being on holiday wouldn be lovely. If you have a helpful family it might actually take a bit of pressure off. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it

YAB a little bit U... but it is unknown to you, so that's understandable. Ds did his first (of many) 7 hour flights when he was 6wo - we lived in the ME and flew back to the UK often. It was so easy before he was mobile! He was ebf, so that made things even easier. If the cost is an issue then don't do it. But don't not go because of the baby, it really isn't an issue. Enjoy!

My own personal experience of holidaying was at 4 months took my Ds to a caravan up north.. he ended up with a D&v bug ended calling 111. I realise my budget is very different to many on here so that’s just my experience .

for you I would consider Is there a good medical system, temperature.. if it’s too hot you will just be hiding away from the heat , hygiene - if it was somewhere like Egypt I wouldn’t consider it as I don’t know anyone who wasn’t Ill there.

Its your choice but these would be my main concerns

Baby will be fine and AI is great for weaning babes especially if you do finger food weaning.

I'd go. £1500 is a great price.

To add.

Also much easier if you breastfeed.

It would be much easier to take a 6/7 month old than a toddler. Babies are adaptable, can sleep anywhere and mostly lacking routine. I'd 100% go and enjoy it. X

There seems to be a lot of people calling the OP ridiculous. Let’s just be clear here, there is nothing remotely ridiculous about a pregnant woman being worried or concerned about her baby. It is perfectly natural and normal. Just because other people have flown with a baby, doesn’t negate or make her worries ridiculous. Many people have climbed Everest, but that fact would not allay your worries and concerns if you were climbing it next year.

Yeah, I'm not spending £3000+ to attend someone else's wedding (I'm assuming £1500 pp here for both you and your DP).

I love some of the comments that are usually on SM regarding abroad weddings, "Oh yeah, but that's instead of a wedding gift for the bride and groom, so you won't have to worry about that." (Not saying that's what the B+G have sad here, but just some 'arguments' I've seen to support abroad weddings before.)

I don't know anyone that I would give a £3000 wedding gift to!

Babies are easy to travel with. Once they start walking and walk to walk up and down the aisle of the airplane the whole time and won't sit still so you can't relax, things get trickier. Go while it's still easy!