Not to send my children to private school even though I can afford it

[AdamRyan]

I believe in comprehensive education and think children should all be educated together, to improve social mobility and prevent a "brain drain" where less privileged children go to some schools, and more privileged go to others.
Am I in the minority and being naive?

YANBU - comprehensive schools are the way to go
YABU - I'd send my children private if I could

Hi Op,

I understand the points you are making and have similar feelings. I haven’t looked into Starmers £1.5bn projection, however does this take into account there will be a large number of children removed from the private sector as the parents can no longer afford the fees? Also where would the children who move out of private into state schools go? In my area the schools are so full at 35 children per class in primary and there is no space on the existing school site to build more classrooms for the additional children.

I have not followed this issue closely, so I don’t know but has Srarmer laid out his plan on how to manage the practical side of closing the loop hole and potentially, in the short term at least having a significant number of children moving from private to state with no where for them to go? I can also see how parents will buy houses in the best catchment areas more than they do currently. This will reduce out of catchment placements for children (this is something I benefited from as child so I know how valuable they are).

It is a complex issue and feels as if it needs a phased approach if it is to happen. I would just be wary of headline numbers e.g. the £1.5bn because when you get to the nuts of it, it is likely to be less and the state sector in the short term could be over burdened.

But @AdamRyan, you are not skint... you could afford to pay the fees for private school, out of your own words. Happy holidays and enjoy your shiny new EV. We are one of the wealthiest nations in the world, Top 10. You cannot blame sensible people for making the best decisions for their own families and children.

I don't. I get fucked off when defensive private school parents claim I'm weird/lying/damaging my parents because I don't think private schools are as good for society as comprehensive schools and educate my children accordingly.

I am not defensive about my choices. Faced with a severely dyslexic child, and rubbish limited rural state options we dotted back and forth between public and private schools. Connections never entered the frame.

For clarity's sake, I should say maintained and fee-paying schools. We have done both.

If I could afford it I'd probably send my kids to private school.

Let me make it worse, we paid for weekly tutoring to maintain DC's French when our local school would not fit it into the curriculum, up to GCSE.

No defensiveness here. We use both.

I know state is good for us and we benefit hugely from
are and cohort. No moral superiority here.

Also if people want to increase tax, start with their own lot. Especially if high income.

I have no issue at all with you paying for what you need for your children. And tbf you aren't one if the posters who's been really dogmatic. Sounds like you are doing the best for your family x

IF our local school had been good, or outstanding, we would have picked it. But it wasn't; it was in Special Measures. They assumed that pupils (especially pupils with any kind of SEN, regardless of whether it was Down's Syndrome or high functioning Aspergers) were being educated for jobs locally and life in Cow Town. Which is probably a stretching concept for people not living in rural areas. We don't have much public transport and the distances between population centres are time-consuming. Our closest cinema is 20 miles away; we are damned lucky to have a rail service to our nearest city (thanks mainly to a national monument), but average wages there run £10K less than in the city 30 miles up the road, across the board. Our closest city, despite being in Southern England, has some of the most deprived wards, on a national scale, in the UK.

So no, forgive me, we've seen those schools, and as I have only one child, there is no way I am condemning them to a life without choice, in a tourism-driven economy on minimum wage.

I don’t think anyone, at any stage, has indicated they give a toss what choices you make for your kids. No one is in a position to substitute their judgement for yours. It’s the silly, unevidenced sniping at others that pisses people off.

@userofsorts

Great post
I completely agree with you and that's why my dc go to private schools
I want to give them the best experience and that doesn't mean I want them to get the best results. Those who talk about paying for a French tutor really don't get it.

It's the confidence, manners, and the care provided by the school which makes them feel like they really matter and they can achieve whatever they want to.

I agree @userofsorts - great post!

My DC did go church state primary schools requiring years of church attendance and the experience they got was as close to a private school as possible, in terms of respect, kindness and behaviour. The school always run multiple clubs morning, lunch time and after school. The TAs helping out do it for passion and are all middle class types. Loads of musical kids and very sporty kids came out of that school, despite the large class sizes. Because the parent group stuck together, supported the school and were dedicated. They were not all rich but most were very educationally motivated. After that, my DC went to grammars which again were academically fast paced and offered some very good clubs too for a state school, but again, it was about parental motivation I feel and the teachers were incredibly hard working and mostly very good. Not in every subject every year, but mostly. Locally we have a plethora of sports clubs, musical offerings etc anyway so there really is no need to pay for private schooling.

Had we lived in Winchester or Cambridge my DC may well have attended a comp. If we lived in an area with mediocre schools we might have paid up.
Education is indeed a massive postcode lottery. It is not about state vs private at all. If you are educationally motivated for your children and support them, that is a great thing for society at large. That is what matters. But it is not anyone job to choose poor schooling with bad behaviour for their own DC to sort out bad attitude in other kids and their parents. And that is the crux of the matter. It hasn’t even got anything to do with class or money really. We have tons of working class immigrants in our schools who are very motivated for their DC.

Given the birth rate is falling, rather than close schools I would like a new government to reduce class sizes if they can recruit enough teachers that is. At least at primary level. Because that is the real issue right now. We need a massive recruitment drive.

I don’t think anyone, at any stage, has indicated they give a toss what choices you make for your kids

Agree

😂well yes. Unevidenced sniping was why I started the thread in the first place

Probably why TAAT usually get swiped people with grievance over a comment taking it to other threads.

Whatever got your back up was likely more your extrapolation than anything else.

People don’t care what you choose for your kids.

@AdamRyan - where I am sitting, in a post Brexit era, this country is now operating post modernist colonialism. Import a whole lot of skilled hardworking labour from the Asian subcontinent and charge them through the roof via PAYE to pay for the rest of the country. The point I am trying to make is that that lot come with their own educational values which need to be respected too as they are just as much part of our society now as the white middle class Bohemian leftie type who wants a lovely comp idea for all, in true middle class England style. Wouldn’t that be lovely!
Modern day Britain should be about diversity and acceptance and allowing people choices. We don’t need a nanny state to tell us what to do. Central government politics and their ideal can all F off. Most people come to this country to be allowed to make free choices and not be dictated too. Let’s celebrate that. Let’s go back to the late 90s when we were a thriving country and drop all the hate. It is a very important concept to follow.

JustanothermagicMonday1 -Thankyou. Yes I agree. Nobody is stopping the OP doing anything. She was born in the U.K. She is already privileged. I'm not sure what all the angst or virtue-signalling is about, or what she wants people to say really?

I don’t think anyone, at any stage, has indicated they give a toss what choices you make for your kids
Agree with this.

I couldn't care less what decisions parents make for their children and their family. I do find it irritating when a minority act like they have some kind of moral high ground, pure political stance when they're usually operating from a position of privilege.

Nice. I was pleasant to you yesterday and that's just rude.

There is no angst or virtue signalling. I just did not appreciate being called a liar for holding a common view of comprehensive education.

For some reason parents who pay seem to find this challenging and are rude and hostile to anyone who says that.

Very much agree. I recall being surprised when a committed Labour supporter said they used private schooling on another thread even though they spend a lot of time taking the high ground.

I mean

AdamRyan - I did not mean to come across as hostile to you and have not seen any comment you made to me yesterday (?). But surely you can see, that the decision of what school to send your children to is very area-specific. If you have choice, count yourself as fortunate. If your local school had experienced a stabbing in broad daylight, you may feel differently.

Very much agree. I recall being surprised when a committed Labour supporter said they used private schooling on another thread even though they spend a lot of time taking the high ground.
See I wouldn't object to a Labour supporter sending their child private in the current system.

I think it's entirely possible to acknowledge they're in a fortunate position, whilst also believing that all children should have a good offer that meets their needs.

I'd expect a Labour supporter to be committed to reform, advocating for wider services to be properly organised and funded etc, but I wouldn't say they had to provide their child a worse option to remain pure/a good enough Labour supporter.

But I find the left is currently eating itself alive with purity spirals and culture war issues at the moment.

I think it very much depends on the state school in your catchment area, as a good state school usually means it is in a very affluent area where in reality there is not a lot of mixing of children from less well off families.

I find the difference in state schools from more to less affluent areas really unfair, I pay tax at same rate as families in affluent areas but what is offered at school, outwith core curriculum, is a lot less.

They can but if they call out others for being hypocrites for doing so it’s odd.

Maybe they think no one noticed on the thread.

I can’t take them seriously at all since.