To Allow My Daughter To Express Herself

[Clareanscombe1964]

My parents gave me a pretty good foundation I think, they weren’t too strict or too lenient. They allowed me a degree of freedom that my friends didn’t have on the basis that I worked hard at school, was always honest and adhered to the reasonable boundaries they set me.
So I’ve tried to do the same with my own kids but of course they are very young still. My dd is 5 and very mature for her age, she works hard at school and we have a great open relationship where she talks to
me about anything. Long may it continue. She is very expressive; loves clothes and fashion and it makes her so happy to express herself through clothes, make up etc. Today she wanted to wear a certain outfit, have purple hair and make up. Which I was happy to do for her. Off we go to a school fayre and looking around her I see that she’s pretty different to the other kids in terms of how they look. Am I in that wrong to let her do these things in her down time because she’s 5 or should I allow her the freedom to choose how she looks even if it means wearing a little mascara?

Fake Post alert

I've never seen mascara on a five year old. Not sure I'd like it.

Right, because a mascara wand is great to be rubbing along a 5 year olds lashes.
2/10

Face painting, fine, actual makeup and that isn't a child expressing themselves, they are picking up messages about female beauty standards.

do you want to be her mum or her best friend? at 5 its important to be age appropriate. mascara is not. if she was wearing a fairy costume or a fire fighters outfit with braided hair and facepaint fair enough but not this. She probably isnt very mature for her age she is just your pfb. if you arent careful she will be the sort of kid who gets bullied because of her expressionism and you will wonder why. this is where it starts.

As a PP said. Yes to face painting but no to actual make up. And no dyed hair unless it's a big of hair chalk. I don't like seeing children in proper make up.

Can she not 'express herself' like every other small child? I'm not against anything in principle but this seems performative.

I'm inclined to agree.

There's also the fact that make up in undeniably bad for the skin and many people find skin conditions get worse over time once they start wearing make up, so I would encourage a make-up free face for as long as possible.

Also she's 5 now, but in a few years she might sadly start drawing unwanted attention if make up means she looks older than her years. The responsibility for this would 100% on those giving the unwanted attention but it takes age and experience to learn how to deal with it and many girls struggle.

But otherwise I think its wonderful you allow her to express herself so freely and you know her better than anyone else so if you are comfortable with her wearing make up then I don't think you're doing anything wrong.

You talk to your 5 year old about anything? You let her wear make-up and have purple hair? You're quite ridiculous.

Oh, go on, let us know what the 'certain outfit' was.

I've got my popcorn ready for it.

🤣🤣🤣

we have a great open relationship where she talks to me about anything

What a bizarre way to talk about a five-year old. Do you think that other five-year olds DON'T talk to their mum about anything? The ones I've met talk to anyone about anything

Wonder how many pages this will run to before it’s deleted for being a troll

School fair on a Saturday. Uh huh

This is a very odd post. Most people would put a bit of hair chalk in for their child for a bit of fun but proper hair dye and make up sounds nuts. Unless you missed the 1 in front of the 5.

All our school fairs are on Saturdays.

Why do people think this is a troll thread?

Because it reads like a massive wind up PLUS a fuck to 'uptight' mummies. It's baity.

Why is she focused on makeup, hair and fashion to express herself at this age? Where is she picking this up from?

Children need boundaries. When they aren’t provided with boundaries at home they find it very hard to adapt at school to them!

@jellyminelli
Most school summer fairs are on Saturdays.

I'm reminded of those little pageant princesses in USA.

🤣🤣

clearly a fake post, but this response is absolutely true and hilarious regardless 👏🏻

I don’t know, my niece is the girliest girl, loves makeup, dolls, dressing up etc and her mum is the complete opposite so I don’t always think it’s the mum pushing it.

Like this:

I'm reminded of those little pageant princesses in USA.

Me too. I look at those kids and wonder what the hell the parents think they're doing.