Unfortunately, I think you’re setting yourself up for a fall if you let him go, expecting him to get drunk and expecting him to text you to reassure you. You either trust him or you don’t.
Would you have preferred it if he had chosen not to go at all? That would be understandable. It’s common enough to hire a stripper, but also sleazy and a bit grim. I know you he told you it was the other men who organised it, but by going along, your husband is inherently indicating approval (and likely lying that he wasn’t involved). So then, your decision is whether you accept that he’s the kind of man who goes along with seeing strippers or not.
Some women wouldn’t care either way, but from your reaction, you obviously do. If you were not happy, you could have told him that and seen how he responded, then made your decision about whether it was a dealbreaker for you.
I take it that you didn’t tell him you weren’t really happy, but rather pretended you were okay with it, but hoped he would compromise by texting you for reassurance and now he’s let you down? It’s horribly difficult when you get pregnant and discover that your partner, who you hoped/assumed would change when you were pregnant, doesn’t and I know that as it happened to me.
I think you have to work out how to deal with it going forward. Whether you are too overbearing is not the right question. You feel how you feel. If your line in the sand was that he would text you and he didn’t, then you have to take it up with him. Arguably it was a bad line in the sand to draw, because once he was drunk with male friends, the chances of him texting were always quite slim, in my opinion. There would be huge peer pressure not to do so.
But given he let you down, you now have to decide what to do if a similar situation arises. You know now he won’t text. Your choices are to let him go or not. Obviously there are risks with either, but ultimately it depends on where your line in the sand is. You can keep compromising on your own feelings and let him do what he wants, letting him get away with letting you down, even though it upsets you, or you can set boundaries you are happy with. But then you have to understand that if he oversteps them, your only option might be to leave and you have to be willing to follow through and do it.
I’m probably not the best person to advise as I allowed myself to be compromised for years. It took me way too long to leave and I put up with years of being disrespected because we had children together and I didn’t want to parent alone, but with hindsight, I massively regret putting up with it for so long. I think working out my boundaries and sticking to them would have meant leaving much earlier, but ultimately that would have been better.
And obviously all this is in the context of how he is the rest of the time. If he’s great the rest of the time, then maybe an odd night out is not a big deal and you can live with it, but if it’s the tip of an iceberg of generally thoughtless, unpleasant behaviour, then perhaps you’re better off without him.