How long after having baby did you and DP have sex?

[Soundbathfan]

Just wondering! My sex drive isn't great at the best of times but hoping it won't disappear entirely after having our first baby!

Bloody hell what a nasty nasty comment!

Everyone different to you is wrong and must be with a man who’ll cheat and be desperate to keep him…..fuck me what desperately unpleasant individual posted this.

A year. We had a child that didnt sleep and we did 5050 nights, we were both knackered.

I went to bed at 7pm for most if that year and we were like ships in the night.

5 years later it's back in full swing, we are close as anything and the bedroom is better than ever.

Be kind to yourself and eachother.

😧 you haven't had sex in 11 years?

I've had 3 straight forward, vaginal births and no tears / grazes / stitches etc. I was lucky to recover from labour quite quickly and easily (first took a bit longer recovery wise but I was feeling physically back to normal within a few weeks, DC3 was in NICU so I was up, showered and dressed within 30 minutes of delicery whilst DP went with her). However newborns are relentless so there was no sex for a while. Can't remember exactly but was probably within the month with the first 2 children. DC3 was born with a rare genetic condition, was in in NICU for weeks and was NG tube fed. She had to be fed every 3-4 hours (we'd set alarms overnight) and I pumped for 6 months. We didn't have sex for a very long time!!

Out of interest there was no elusive "6 week PP check up" for me? I was asked a few questions when the babies had their check but that was it. Was also told I'd need to book another appointment if I wanted to go back on the pill.

6 months

^ this. I waited longer after my first birth as I had stitches, probably about 6 weeks but there was certainly no pressure for me to have sex. I wanted to! I also felt so emotionally close to DH after both births.

One month, it should have been longer but DH had an attitude problem about it. I'm still pissed off if I think about it. However, he has matured a lot since then and would not pressure me like that now, he wasn't really coping with fatherhood very well. He's come through that a better person.
I would talk to your DH and discuss the changes to sex life, agree it might be a while but how long that is is an unknown and make sure expectations are mutual and pressure is off the table.

I think 3 months after my c section

About 3 weeks after vaginal delivery
Can't remember with my 2nd
19 days after c section
11 days after c section

9 weeks. We hadn’t had sex since before the 20 week scan as complications discovered and we were told ‘no funny business!’ so we were both ready for a bit more than a cuddle!
If you want to do it but don’t want the floodgates to open afterwards then I’d just preface it with ‘but I’m still not feeling quite myself so it won’t go back to normal after this’. Also, be selfish - I read a lot about how it could hurt and was nervous about this so we did all the things I love. It was a given he’d have a good time anyway after such a long wait!!

I was horney as hell after each baby and could have dove straight in the next day. By the time I waited for it to be safe I’d cooled down a lot. I had zero sex drive during my 1st 2 pregnancies and a little bit of one through my third.

Just a bit of an overshare here I suppose, so you can see how different experiences are even for same person.

1st baby I don't think we slept together after I got first got pregnant tbh, he was much older than me, (still is!) And whilst this is gross to say, I think seeing me as a woman, not a teenager really put him off me. He was desperate to get me pregnant too.
So I had sex first time after we broke up, before DC first birthday, so just before a year.

Second and third babies and 8 weeks with each, no stitches, just very bruised and sore.
I was a bit too keen to be trying to do other stuff for DP and he didn't want too, I was convinced it was because he then like exH found me gross, but he sat me down, both times, to explain how he wasn't going to enjoy feeling like I was performing out of duty almost, plus we were both tired etc and we'd get our groove back once time was right.
He was very reassuring, even though I was convinced with hormones and previous experience he'd leave me.

I'd definitely take any pressure from yourself and see what happens when you're comfortable.

Even with no tears and stitches, sex was quite uncomfortable for the first few times. Next time I think we'd wait until 3 months, just to really heal.

6 weeks with first
3 weeks with the second

I was months later as had alot stitches and episiotomy. Nightmare really the birth. So depends how u healed

5 weeks - I wanted to make sure everything was in order before my 6 week check!

DD, episiotomy and forceps, 3 weeks. Honestly, my call, I felt like I’d completely lost my identity and needed to check I hadn’t lost everything I’d once held dear! Coincided with my first night having more than one drink post pregnancy (in fairness it was 2, not a skin full!) but make of that what you will!

DS, ELCS, 8 weeks. I was shattered as a 2 under 2 mum and had no concerns that it wouldn’t come back as I knew it would. Nowadays we’re once every 20 days where we once were 3 times a week but that’s having a non-sleeping 13mo and a nearly 3yo for you!

Actually I think this was a factor for me too, I had no sex drive in pregnancy at all so it was a welcome return post pregnancy, even if I was a bit bashed about from birth!

6 weeks exactly, I think -- it was hard to wait that long, to be honest.

7-8 weeks post c-section. Sex drive varies between us but you just become more creative 😂

It varied, but very soon after each. I remember after my second birth in particular, we could hardly wait! It not long after at all.

Honestly can't remember, around four weeks I think. Whatever the timing, do not have sex without contraception unless you are crazy enough to want a ten month gap. It can happen .

3 months before foreplay. I had a 3rd almost 4th degree tear, so I was very reluctant and DH was very patient with me.

Whenever you feel ready is the best time 🙂

I think about 2 months with ds, this time round will probably be the same.

I am very much looking forward to not having another person inside me in any capacity for a while, this pregnancy has finished me 🤣

For me it was 3 months, I had stitches both times and we weren't taking any chances. My partner was more worried than me actually, he was worried everything was going to burst open again!

2 weeks after my first, can’t remember with my second. Both stray by forward births, no tears.