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AIBU?

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Original poster

How long after having baby did you and DP have sex?

105 replies

Soundbathfan · 30/06/2023 23:08

Just wondering! My sex drive isn't great at the best of times but hoping it won't disappear entirely after having our first baby!

OP posts:
SBHon · 01/07/2023 07:57

LondonPete · 30/06/2023 23:55

2 weeks after first baby
2 days after second baby, probably nearer a day and half as he was born in the night
15 years later now and we do it twice a year

’1 & 1/2 days’ is a joke right?

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 07:58

It all depends on the birth and following the birth surely? I had an awful birth, episiotomy, infection, broke my coccyx during labour, so I literally could hardly walk for 6 weeks. Some people breeze through. You just won't know

LivingDeadGirlUK · 01/07/2023 08:02

Waited till after the 6 week check up to have full sex but we fell into the habit of a kiss, cuddle, and maybe more if the energy was there, every Saturday during babys morning nap. It was really nice to have this time to reconnect during the chaos of a new born.

born2runaway · 01/07/2023 08:19

3 months. Was a bit sore

HelloUtrecht · 01/07/2023 08:22

A couple of weeks and trust me it wasn't pressure from him or fear he'd cheat, I felt so emotionally close to him after the birth. It was a great time in our relationship. I had no damage from the birth and bleeding had stopped.

Blossomtoes · 01/07/2023 08:25

My episiotomy took 1 week to feel normal, I was lucky.

You certainly were. Mine was like sitting on a barbed wire fence for weeks.

Chocolateship · 01/07/2023 08:26

About 2 months something like that. Even if someone doesn't have any tears or stitches with my medical hat on I'd recommend waiting for the 6 week check for penetrative sex personally.

The important thing is when you feel ready (and your partner of course) and don't feel like I have to by x time or whatever. Plenty of ways to feel intimate besides as well imo. I'd say a few years on our sex life is good.

M340 · 01/07/2023 09:05

A few weeks.
No I wasn't pressured by DH
No he didn't cheat when I was pregnant 😂
Felt ready and we still have a very active sex life now and DD is 2.

I get people wait a few months but years? Really? If it's years I'm guessing it's probably not birth related as to why you're not having sex unless you were badly injured.

Surely you can't blame the birth over a decade later.

redbigbananafeet · 01/07/2023 10:14

I think some people forget that they have an open wound the size of a dinner plate inside their womb and a stretched cervix after birth. There is a reason you're medically advised to wait the six weeks.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 01/07/2023 10:16

Well my baby is 19months now and we still haven't. I don't even think about it. I spoke to my husband who said he knows I'm not happy with my weight and I'm exhausted etc so he knows not to push me in to anything and essentially is very understanding.
Also cosleeping with the baby and our 3.5 yr old so DH is in another bedroom for now. I imagine once we get our bed back things will start up again!

Bexx87 · 01/07/2023 10:17

I can't remember with my first three, but my fourth was about 10 days old I think. My libido has never suffered after having a baby.

ZickZack · 01/07/2023 10:18

1st baby - around 7 months.
2nd is 5 months and my sex drive is zero so won't be for a while. I'm so knackered and touched out from breastfeeding, I'll only occasionally give my DH a kiss or hug cause I just want my body to myself when the kids are sleeping.

DH never pressures, never comments. He knows this is normal and knows my drive will come back eventually.

EllaRaines · 01/07/2023 10:19

A couple of months after first baby and sooner after second baby.

Some women it's a lot less and others it's a lot longer.

Only you know how your kind and body feel.

honeybeeeee · 01/07/2023 10:30

I'm almost 7 weeks PP and we haven't had penetrative sex yet. I had a vaginal birth which required internal and external stitches, I still don't feel back to 'normal'. I'm not worried about my libido though, that's still in tact and we've been intimate in other ways since about 5 days PP although this was centred mainly around him in those early days as I was feeling quite beaten up down there 😂

Curseofthenation · 01/07/2023 10:33

I had a forceps delivery with my DS, and my stitches did get infected. I wasn't very well for the first two weeks or so. I waited until I was 6 weeks PP to have sex. I wanted to have my check-up first to make sure all was well. I have a high sex drive though.

bumblebee2235 · 01/07/2023 11:04

I waited 3 weeks... I did have stitches but just healed up pretty quick I was lucky.

And I had an odd reaction where I my drive rocketed and wanted it daily. Don't think that's the norm.. and I wouldn't expect that reaction a second time around 😂 also I think because birth was bad and was in neonatal with baby, I used the sex more for comfort and to feel close to my partner rather than a sexy thing.

Ilovefluffysheep · 01/07/2023 11:47

I think it was around 6 weeks for me. And I got pregnant very quickly, as my second was born 11.5 months after my first!

Sapphire387 · 01/07/2023 12:06

A couple of weeks each time, as I recall. No pressure from my partner at the time. I wanted to feel like 'me' rather than just a mum 24/7.

CornedBeef451 · 01/07/2023 12:09

6 months both times.

Lucydoddledoo · 01/07/2023 12:13

4 months for me. However it was painful. For some reason I wanted to persist and ds2 was conceived during that one time!!

DOBARDAN · 01/07/2023 12:14

Around 6 months after first baby, subsequent babies a bit longer than that, it wasn't so much that I hadn't healed physically, more to do with hubby's attitude at initially 'not getting any',
His bad attitude and sulking made the process of getting my libido back much longer than had he been more understanding of what a woman goes through during pregnancy and birth,
Men who want to understand about these things and can waive their entitlement to sex fare better in the long run.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/07/2023 13:17

redbigbananafeet · 01/07/2023 10:14

I think some people forget that they have an open wound the size of a dinner plate inside their womb and a stretched cervix after birth. There is a reason you're medically advised to wait the six weeks.

I was told to have sex as soon as I feel ready and reminded about using protection, I wasn’t told to wait 6 weeks at all.

Workawayxx · 01/07/2023 13:19

I think it was 3-4 weeks. I had a v small tear and felt pretty ok down there so we went for it. It wasn’t sore or anything.

heyitsthistle · 01/07/2023 13:21

Two and a half weeks after our first (ouch, that was a bit fiery). 9 weeks after the second, but I had an episiotomy and a vaginal prolapse, so that wasn't so easy 😆

almostoverthehill · 01/07/2023 13:25

About 3 weeks (OUR choice, not his only)

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