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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Why are some Mumsnetters so bloody horrible!!!

111 replies

ihavechangedmyusernam · 30/06/2023 20:59

Exactly that.

I'm sure 80% of these people wouldn't dare say half the things they post to someone's face. So why online?

I don't mean the brutal honesty; I mean the unnecessary nastiness.

A few of the old-timers have said this has only become a proper issue in recent years on MN. Interesting...

OP posts:
Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 30/06/2023 21:17

Stay how is that remotely funny?🤔

NoSquirrels · 30/06/2023 21:17

eccentricviolin · 30/06/2023 21:09

I think people feel bold as they’re behind as a screen, under a pseudonym and could be absolutely anybody or nobody… and no one will ever know. So they can say the things they wouldn’t say in real life

And this goes both ways - it means they can also offer up unvarnished truths if that’s called for, or share when they’ve been in a similar situation and what they did, or support someone in a way they couldn’t in real life.

It is what it is.

Avondale89 · 30/06/2023 21:18

There are some vicious replies on here. I assume some people use it to vent and unleash a side of themselves they wouldn’t dream of doing in real life. Also some people just enjoy feeling superior to strangers on the internet.

However there are many wise and helpful posters on here as well. They’re usually able to get to the root of the problem quickly and put forward potential solutions. I think if you had a real dilemma you could find help and support here, whilst remaining anonymous. You’d just have to wade through the nasty argumentative fuckers first. Such is life!

Also many are unintentionally absolutely hilarious.

Chickenkeev · 30/06/2023 21:19

Imo it's grand, but people can be horrible to others that are really struggling. But that's nothing new as PP said. At the end of the day, it's an internet forum, there will always be people who are nasty. If you post, you have to prepare for that.

Wendysfriend · 30/06/2023 21:20

I think it's the Internet full stop. Not just here. I am finding people posting all across different platforms to be fucking deranged.

LaMarschallin · 30/06/2023 21:24

Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 30/06/2023 21:17

Stay how is that remotely funny?🤔

I know you didn't ask me, so sorry if I'm sticking my nose in, but I thought it was obvious that the reply was a joke.
Along the lines of a poster who apparently replied to someone complaining about all the swearing here with "Off you fuck then, cunty-chops" or similar.
Anyway, the post has been removed now so MNHQ didn't find it funny or see the joke either.

Babyroobs · 30/06/2023 21:24

Totally agree. People can't even express an opinion without being jumped on and accused of all sorts usually by people who don't actually have a clue.

baggiesmalls · 30/06/2023 21:26

I'd agree

I joined in 2007 I think or maybe even before and while it had a reputation as a nest of vipers I find it less moderated but kinder , and funnier.

Now it seems people get off on being intentionally aggressive, offensive and rude .

And you can't call them out on it . Back in the day if someone was really obnoxious you could just tell them to fuck off and I found more solidarity amongst posters

Now it's a bigger forum , more suspicion, aggression, disbelief and troll hunting than ever .

Shame really . I find myself hesitating to post threads myself now .

AlfietheSchnauzer · 30/06/2023 21:27

One thing I have noticed, is that there's very rarely any hilarious threads anymore Confused
I used to laugh my socks off at MN threads....

ThursdayFreedom · 30/06/2023 21:39

baggiesmalls · 30/06/2023 21:26

I'd agree

I joined in 2007 I think or maybe even before and while it had a reputation as a nest of vipers I find it less moderated but kinder , and funnier.

Now it seems people get off on being intentionally aggressive, offensive and rude .

And you can't call them out on it . Back in the day if someone was really obnoxious you could just tell them to fuck off and I found more solidarity amongst posters

Now it's a bigger forum , more suspicion, aggression, disbelief and troll hunting than ever .

Shame really . I find myself hesitating to post threads myself now .

@baggiesmalls

totakky agree, we must have joined about the same time. It was totally different, I miss how it was.

penisbeaker was the beginning of the complete change in the site.

TapasTime · 30/06/2023 21:44

There are definitely people who enjoy winding others up. But they're falling just short of trolling so don't get reported. I've noticed a particularly nasty one on threads of mine (under other names) and he/she pops up regularly on others too. Nothing outright abusive, but kind of negging the OP. Like the OP is clearly upset, this particular poster and other like them immediately picks their grammar apart or just asks a useless question like 'well why did you marry him X years ago?' designed to put the blame back into OP. As if we all have a crystal ball and never need advice! It's really horrible. I just assume they get their jollies by upsetting people, very strange, but could really upset vulnerable OPs.

Equally I have read some of the wisest advice in my life from lots of posters on here, so I try to focus on that positive rather than the idiots!

JaneJeffer · 30/06/2023 22:09

StayAnonn · 30/06/2023 21:11

I don’t have to give you any examples you fucking cunt

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am bloody howling here

🤣

GalileoHumpkins · 30/06/2023 22:11

AlfietheSchnauzer · 30/06/2023 21:27

One thing I have noticed, is that there's very rarely any hilarious threads anymore Confused
I used to laugh my socks off at MN threads....

I'm sure that 76.5% of posters have had a humour bypass.

SemperIdem · 30/06/2023 22:11

I’ve been around since 2010ish, one previous username. Longtime users were bemoaning that newcomers were oversensitive then, with newcomers complaining everyone was nasty.

I think the ability to have robust debate has declined in recent years. I think the Daily Mail’s now years long tendency to rip threads off MN straight onto their online page drew a different sort of crowd to previous. The site has grown enormously.

CaroleSinger · 30/06/2023 22:15

They call themselves vipers like it's some sort of well Intentioned brutal honesty but it's just plain nastiness. I picture them being equally nasty in real life. The sort of people nobody actually likes and people avoid like a dose of the clap. No real meaningful friends because nobody will put up with them long enough.

SwordToFlamethrower · 30/06/2023 22:16

Toloveandtowork · 30/06/2023 21:07

Maybe they are men who feel threatened by women talking, and want us all off this forum so try to make it unusable.

This is my theory too. So many nasty comments to posters talking about their abuse by men!

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 30/06/2023 22:23

AlfietheSchnauzer · 30/06/2023 21:27

One thing I have noticed, is that there's very rarely any hilarious threads anymore Confused
I used to laugh my socks off at MN threads....

I've noticed that too, now you come to mention it. Quite sad, nothing makes you spit your tea out any more ... (is it ok to use ...?) ...

MossCow · 30/06/2023 22:24

Well the Mouldies debacle was the height of nasty and very polarising. And that was well over a decade ago. That was the biggest drama in my MN memory.

FKATondelayo · 30/06/2023 22:25

Speaking for myself, it's a combination of genetics and environment.

TheProcrastinati · 30/06/2023 22:26

Thank you for laughing and realising it was a joke! Mumsnet have deleted my post despite the fact that I REPORTED MY OWN POST to MN just to clarify I was making a point and that it was not a personal attack.

<sigh>

I wish humour/irony was not against MN guidelines.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 30/06/2023 22:26

I've been around since about 2005. I've noticed responses are less considered - lots of using reply posts as an opportunity to discuss something else (or say something quite unpleasant) but not helping the OP. Being deliberately obtuse, or maybe not understanding the OP. Someone was complaining about poor comprehension the other day and I agree - its like any OP longer than a couple of sentences and posters loose their shit.

MossCow · 30/06/2023 22:26

One thing I have noticed, is that there's very rarely any hilarious threads anymore
I used to laugh my socks off at MN threads...

This seems to be the case in the real,world too. Nobody can say anything nowadays without people having a go at them.

TheProcrastinati · 30/06/2023 22:30

TheProcrastinati · 30/06/2023 22:26

Thank you for laughing and realising it was a joke! Mumsnet have deleted my post despite the fact that I REPORTED MY OWN POST to MN just to clarify I was making a point and that it was not a personal attack.

<sigh>

I wish humour/irony was not against MN guidelines.

Sorry I forgot to quote @JaneJeffer and @StayAnonn so my last post made
no sense.

EvilElsa · 30/06/2023 22:34

It's not just MN, it's all forums across the Internet on all variety of subjects from cars to horses to knitting. Some/most of it is trolling, some people just get "brave" when they have an anonymous voice. Some people are genuinely just arseholes. You just have to take the rough with the smooth. It's not personal reme

JaneJeffer · 30/06/2023 22:35

I find it ironic that people are bemoaning the lack of humour when the humour on this thread was only appreciated by a couple of people and thanks to @StayAnonn for copying the post or I would have missed it

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