AIBU to say private school children are much sportier & better musicians?

[Denimrevival]

Just on the back of comparing with friends & family with dc in private schools. The kids & their families are all naturally sporty & outdoorsy anyways but the school provides a vast range of sports with it's own pool & swim team.
Musically their kids all play 2 or three instruments all at least grade 4 or 5..
How do these private schools do the academics, music & sports to such a high standard? Do they also have a very good base if the kids are having sport & music reinforced outside school through their families lifestyles?

Yes, it is mainly about family, not school.

Some parents will ensure that their kids have opportunities to fulfil their potential. In some cases, the opportunities that private schools offer might be a part of this. In others, the parents might choose to rely on alternative options instead.

The common factors are a) that the parents care enough to make the effort, and b) that the parents have the financial resources necessary to facilitate this.

There are plenty of kids in state schools who excel in music, sport etc, but they do need parental support to help them make the most of their talents.

Parents can afford school fees they can afford music lessons..music lessons as part of curriculum taken by specialised music teachers
More musicians mean bands orchestras are formed in school
Sport....they play sport min an hour a day plus matches all afternoon on Wednesdays and enter competitions against other indie schools....again specialised sorts staff teaching them

So time...money ...

There was an interesting set of statistics produced on this. The least well represented sport is hockey - which makes sense as water based astro pitches are expensive (and take a lot of space).

It can also be a self fulfilling prophecy. Our local state schools are academically excellent. The reason that we chose private is that my kids love sport and the facilities and coaching is excellent. If they weren't keen on sport (or drama/music), I'd have chosen a state school as I'd feel I was 'paying' for something we weren't using.

It's not just the sportiest kids they cater for though. Our school runs A-E teams for rugby, cricket and hockey in the early years of secondary. If the standard is high to make the As, it also encourages kids to practise on their own, go to the gym etc.

But it varies widely among the state schools (as with private schools). Two of our local state schools are strong at rugby, but others don't put out any rugby teams. Ditto for cricket. Not sure about football as our school doesn't play it, I'm guessing this is well represented in state schools as it's a popular sport.

1. For clarity, Universities do not base offers on extra curricular activities.
2. Rich/privileged children are not inherently cleverer/more musical/better at sport than poorer/less privileged ones. They just get more opportunities because they are richer/privileged. It's not rocket surgery!

@montysma1 absolutely right.
Talent is innate- and a good musician is born with a good ear. Great athletes are born with physical attributes that set them apart from others i.e. long arms and legs .
All the private schools do is offer facilities, resources, opportunities and encouragement. That's also present in a lot of great state schools. So sorry OP, don't agree that those who go to private school are more talented.

I used to find it 😱😱😱 that many private schools don’t offer football but then realised it’s because they don’t win at it competitively because state school kids are better at it, because it doesn’t require £££ to play it.

Which then makes you think about all other sports and how it is all so skewed in the privileged’s favour and it makes me feel a bit sick.

Picking a musical instrument for your unborn child really dies not equate to 'exposure to art before birth' though. Having aspirations for your child isn't the same as being knowledgeable about art and culture.

I also think the OP's assertion about sports is off too. Sport isn't class based. Dressage, rowing etc maybe but sport itself no.

I'm not even going to touch your comment about being 'well ahead of the average local parent'. 🙄

I used to find it 😱😱😱 that many private schools don’t offer football but then realised it’s because they don’t win at it competitively because state school kids are better at it, because it doesn’t require £££ to play it.

I think it's probably more of a snobbery thing of rugby v football. Although some parents dislike the physical element of rugby (I think Habs parents recently voted to replace rugby with football).

Schools tend to set their fixtures to play schools of a similar standard. We play Eton and Harrow at cricket and hockey but not at rugby as it would be one-sided (they're far better). The exception would be cup competitions but even those are streamed after the first couple of rounds into main, plate etc.

I went to a state school but I don't think it's about criticising private schools for dominating elite level sport, it's about how to help the state schools provide a better level of sport. Which is hard as it comes down to funding, both for facilities and specialist coaching. And not all parents/teachers want to have their Saturdays taken up by school matches.

1. For clarity, Universities do not base offers on extra curricular activities.

Maybe not, but dd was interviewed, personally shown the facilities, then received a very low offer. She went on to represent the university in that sport and did very well. Obviously not many courses interview, but this healthcare based course did,.so it worked very much in her favour. Sport is massive at some universities, with scholarships and grants. Ditto choir. It's not all about getting 3 x As.

State or private, its very hard work being a sporty kid and parent. As a parent you have to be prepared to be taxi, coach, psychologist and cheerleader. Some parents don't have that in them and would prefer their kids had good social lives and wander into town on a Saturday and hang out with their mates rather than get up at 5 and drive miles away which is totally fine of course.

As I've said up thread once they get to uni they often give up or move to something else and everyone's forgotten they won the school swimming cup four years ago.

I obviously wasn’t clear - sorry.
Private school children have access to much better facilities eg swimming pools at school so they can have year round lessons, instead of six weeks being shipped by coach for half an hour in the pool. I’d love to think that in the ideal world all kids could have the swimming pool at school thing. In my fantasy world abolishing private schools means that people who value these things don’t pay to send their kids to these places, they push for everyone to have them.
What I was trying to get at is that one set of children are not inherently better at sports and music - what they have is opportunities. I just would love those opportunities for all. Instead my kids barely have the opportunity to have a working glue stick.
If Rishi Sunaks kids were at my school I’m betting he’d be more invested in improving things.

I think some children ARE inherently better at music or sport but agree, they need the opportunity to show it. Tbf, if a child is really athletic you can identify that at a young age without doing anything other than watching them play sport at primary school. Then park run is free! But you need to be able to get to one. One of the best athletes I ever met used to do park run in a pair of his dad's trainers and his coat. He eneded up getting a full bursary and a scholarship to a - you guessed it - private school.

@babybythesea but why aren't the parents whose kids are already at state school pushing for better resources etc? Why would it be up to the parents of private school kids to make the difference? The answer is because parents have very little influence so it is naive to say that if private schools we abolished that state schools would improve. You really think that a handful of parents at each secondary school can make any impact on the funding of that school and the way that they do their budgeting? If they can then why don't all state school parents join together NOW to pressure the school rather than waiting for the abolition of private schools?
The answer doesn't lie with getting rid of private schools, the answer lies in voting for a political party who will invest in education and values education for all children. It lies with all parents being invested in their children's behaviour and engagement at school and properly funded SEN provision.

This was very neatly demonstrated during lockdown

Lots of mc parents at state school complaining about poor provision from their schools. But despite being educated and middle class, they totally failed to change the ethos of their school.

Not sure why they think that I, as a private school parent, would suddenly get schools to change!

Change your school yourself rather than waiting for the private school overlords to do it for you!

That’s why I said it was cloud cuckoo land. I know ir doesn’t work like that. Doesn’t stop me wishing it did.
As I said, I’m betting it would change if the PM,s kids went to school where they couldn’t afford a glue stick.
Why don’t the state school parents push? Sometimes they are too busy keeping their own heads above water. As I said, it’s the difference between being able to take your child somewhere to take part in something, and having to take them to work every night while you clean because there’s no one else to look after them.

I think we are saying the same thing. Each child deserves all these chances. I would love a world where private schools didn’t need to exist to provide amazing facilities and chances because all kids had the same amazing experience.

@babybythesea yes I think we are agreeing 😊

Would never happen sadly as its about ethos as much as money.

Reading some of the comments on my local Facebook page from disgruntled state school parents if their little darlings are expected to walk from one classroom to another when it's raining, there seem to be a huge proportion that just wouldn't cope with Saturday commitments and the rigour of sport for all.

There isn't a way for parents get state schools to magic more money for provisions though. Most already have a parents' association to raise money for extras. Obviously the best way is to vote out this current government.

Oh I agree with you there

Precisely. I’ve had people comment how awful it is that my children go to school on a Saturday. My children have never once complained and happily go to school 6 days a week with a smile on their face. The same people passing comment on how ridiculous Saturday school is are often the same people who then complain than privately educated children have an unfair advantage. Yes, they have more opportunity, but they also work extremely hard and spend hours more at school a week than their state counterparts.

You only have to read threads on here, and other media reports, to see how many parents complain about their children being slightly uncomfortable having to wear proper shoes, or being a bit warm in their blazers, or being told off by a teacher, or having a whole 2 hours of homework, to realise that there is no way they would be willing to attend school for the hours that private school children often have to, or to put the required amount of effort in. Of course not all parents are like that, but a lot are.

Yes, my children are more sporty and musical than average, partly because they’ve been given that opportunity, but also because they work flipping hard at it.

The problem with these threads is that you have people who send their kids to private schools and think that all children who go to private schools are like theirs and that all kids who go to state schools are the opposite. And then you get statements which, while you may not mean them to sound like you believe yourselves to be superior, certainly come across that way. In all walks of life people will do things differently from you. The only thing you have in common with other PS parents is that you've been able to (and chosen to) spend your money at a private school.

In reality there will be children at private schools who dislike Saturday mornings and absolutely hate being made to persist with sports which they have no interest in and they are hopeless at. The same with learning a musical instrument.

Conversely, if you go to my local sports field on a Saturday or Sunday morning you will see a mile of traffic as people get their children (girls and boys) to football, and the pool packed full of parents taking their children to swimming lessons and to swimming club where many will compete at county level. The same at the local hockey club, cricket club, rugby club, etc.

I'm also pretty sure that plenty of PS parents will also be voicing complaints about the discomforts of their children but they'd probably to the school itself as it would go down like a lead balloon if they did it on a public Facebook page, especially in the current climate.

In reality there will be children at private schools who dislike Saturday mornings and absolutely hate being made to persist with sports which they have no interest in and they are hopeless at. The same with learning a musical instrument

We are talking about sporty children here. And tbf, a good private school wouldn't have a child being made to do a sport they'd hate. They'd find something for them.

And I'd be interested to see how many older teen girls are in that crowd of kids in the park. Not many. Maybe at swimming. That was my focus when choosing a school as I think sport, not simply exercise, is really important for girl's mental health. I'm not interested in wasting dds life at a school where there's no decent sport for older girls and the ethos and her peers don't support it.

Yes but you can really only speak about your own 'sporty children' and their specific school. You won't know how any other school, private or otherwise, approach sports and what kids have any say in.

I agree with @mewkins . My daughter is one of those kids who would absolutely HATE Saturday school and she specifically rejected private schools that had Saturday school 😆She is also generally sporty, but better at some sports than others. She hates tennis and football for example and would hate to be made to do it, especially on weekends. As I already mentioned, her main sport/obsession she does after school and it has nothing to do with the school.