AIBU to say private school children are much sportier & better musicians?

[Denimrevival]

Just on the back of comparing with friends & family with dc in private schools. The kids & their families are all naturally sporty & outdoorsy anyways but the school provides a vast range of sports with it's own pool & swim team.
Musically their kids all play 2 or three instruments all at least grade 4 or 5..
How do these private schools do the academics, music & sports to such a high standard? Do they also have a very good base if the kids are having sport & music reinforced outside school through their families lifestyles?

Thought of this thread as saw friends last night whose son is top of his sport and they are in the process of applying to Ivy League colleges in US for scholarships. State school.

Precisely. Average house price where I live is off the charts (think 600k+ for a two bedroom cottage). Plenty of kids who live in social housing, traveller sites, or in farm mobile home accommodation at school. I really don’t think there are many traveller kids or fruit picker’s children in private schools, even in areas with much cheaper housing.

So how many fruit picker's children are at Fortismere or DAO or Latymer?

LOL. Fortismere and DAO there may actually be a couple. I worked closely with Fortismere until about 5 years ago and there's a surprising amount of kids from low income households. FSM data is crap at showing this. Most families using food banks don't qualify for FSM.

To put the conversation into context https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jul/02/classical-music-cuts-fighting-for-its-life-preserve-of-rich?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other&fbclid=IwAR1RzOthwluF8aaSN-b9NOgy6BoiLRTcZadbB4I2u_XUQFMPlcHXeDKaqhM

hardly surprising when many schools have sold off their school instruments , secondary schools often don't have a single member of staff who can read or play music and the curriculum sees music as a non academic subject.

This is not about elite music or sport , talented individuals will always rise to the top, this is about having the social will to provide every child with exposure and involvement in sports and music.

On longer hours in private schools, my children's father is a teacher who has taught at each sector including Saturday school in private sector. The teachers are obliged to do clubs (as indeed they might in state schools of course in some cases). However I have not done an analysis of private schools where teachers must be in before or at 8am and leave at 6pm v state schools where in theory the school day for some might end earlier but there is in all sectors marking and preparation out of hours etc. Also if you run a boarding house you do tend to be pretty much on call a lot of the time too (in boarding schools) although not in school holidays

There are no private schools where I live, yet we have some of the most musical and sporty children and teenagers around! Access to good musical and sporting opportunities is important, and maybe more well off parents have access to the funds which go along with these hobbies when they reach more elite levels perhaps, but that doesn't mean that the child/teenager will necessarily have any more passion than a less well off one!

Well I work in a warehouse as a picker and packer and my 4 dc all went to private secondary schools. Ds was at a public boys school and my 2 elder dds went to Cambridge.

Children at private schools are not entitled to FSM though of course they would be included free through bursaries. I had a problem during covid when my dc were obviously not getting school meals but did not qualify for the help given by the government during holidays. In the end I had to get the local councillors involved and they agreed we met the income criteria. Ds's public school was very good at sending me money for the school meals they were missing and dd3's school did send me it after I submitted proof of income but it was very stressful.

Thought of this thread eavesdropping in the car on my 14 year old and her mates comparing their sports days - 2 state 2 private. Means nothing to teens what types of school. Their conclusion was the state school (all girls but state) sports day was more fun as involved face paints and mucking about the private one was “too intense” but the state girls loved the idea of the house dinners the private school girls had.

Funny

Dd is at prestigious private girls school and sports day involved intensity for some and face paints, tutus and mucking about for others. Of course a mix, rather than the one or the other that you get on here.

So here’s the thing. In the independent boarding school I work at, all teachers work 8-6 every day and every other Saturday morning.

Some teachers also then work evenings and early mornings, and some of those teachers also technically work overnight five-six nights a week.

They do get longer holidays though. But the big thing is that when they’re on holiday they don’t do any work. They often go travelling for a few months or similar.

You've also got to remember that private school teachers often get paid a good amount less than state school teachers because the long holiday is considered to be a perk and they are sometimes offered basic accommodation at a reasonable price (although that accommodation would be in the boarding houses with the children if they were a housemaster/mistress).

I went to a private school and it churned out some of the most useless, mediocre and, in some cases, convicted individuals you could hope to meet (and convicted of very nasty things that did harm to vulnerable people). These were all kids who had every opportunity thrown at them, who played instruments, did sports, had the teachers guiding them through every essay and exam and they were still bloody useless as adults. And no, most of them aren't particularly "successful" but they do have bank of mum and dad to support them so it barely matters.

By contrast my DH went to a state school and he is a decent hard working person who is much better adjusted than many of the guys I went to school with. DH was very also sporty and played instruments in school.

What I'm trying to say is, opportunities and ECs during school are great and yes, can lead to brilliant opportunities for the right kid. But I also think the right kid can make the most of opportunities wherever they are. Having seen how so many of my classmates turned out and knowing the opportunities they were given, I am not fussed about sending our kids to private school as long as they get support and encouragement at home.

Dh and I were discussing our friends son who is extremely driven top of his sport trains daily and applying for US scholarships. He is driven Dh was similar but academically. Both state educated. It’s quite rare but frankly your child is like that or they aren’t. I don’t think a school or parent can force it it has to come from them.

Some children are like that, dd2 was always quite driven academically and would have done well wherever she went - though she was bullied at her state school for being clever! Dd1, though always pretty good academically was always inclined to do just enough work to be top! She never pushed herself but she was quite competitive.
Ds is ND and was subject to bullying at his middle school which I fear would have got worse at secondary school. At his private school he was given the confidence to be himself. Academically he probably would have come out with all A*s at state school but socially he fared much better in the private sector.
Dd3 would have gone to our local state secondary as I think she'd have done well there. She got 119 and exceeding in her y6 SAT'S overall and being entitled to FSM would have also helped with paying for trios etc. Unfortunately she thought it wasn't fair that her siblings went private at secondary and she didn't so she went private too. I'm still not 100% convinced it was the right decision but she's just finishing y10 and I won't move her now.

Sounds like my daughter's private school sports day - a mix of fun and intensity. Her sports day was scheduled for 9am but as it was raining quite heavily it was moved to 11am. Some state schools are flexible like this but I found when mine were at state primary it was often just moved to a different day which was also affected by weather.

Mant I think you did the right thing. I would not have had some in private and some in state as that is not really very fair on the child.

I also agree with the comment above that some things are innate. One of mine was very keen on sport right through into the sixth form, others not. Same family, similar schools, similar upbringing.

My daughter's private school sports day also had face paint and kids not taking it seriously. In one of the races the girls held hands and ran together so no one came last (my daughter was the only one who broke the chain at the end to win the race as she's super competitive 😂). The other kids were all very chilled. I think my daughter was one of the few kids who took Sports Day seriously and wanted to win all her races.

Sadly neither of mine are driven to that extent! They work hard at school and do activities but are not that next level driven. It’s quite rare - and I think inspiring to see.

As a private school parent, I can confirm that we are not all like that.

We aren't all like that.

How do these private schools do the academics, music & sports to such a high standard? Do they also have a very good base if the kids are having sport & music reinforced outside school through their families lifestyles?

It's not so much that they go to a private school, but an obvious factor is money , time spent on practice, as well as discipline and normalising the family lifestyle that lends itself to being good at music and sports, as you have already mentioned.

Having said that our dcs are both state educated; ds plays for a local football club who finished 2nd in the county at the end of this season. He stopped piano at grade 5 though, as it just wasn't his thing but he was disciplined with practice at the time.

Dd on the other hand does so many extra curricular activities as it is. Scouts, 2 types of dance classes, piano, viola. Again, none of these things are cheap.

She is good at lots of things but she cannot be good at everything because of how think spread her time is between them. By the time she comes back from another scout's camp or hike, she barely has time for practice in either instruments. She narrowly missed a merit recently in her grade 6 piano, but her dance grade suffered and she only just passed having missed several lessons because of clashes with other things.

Bit more on Labour's plans https://on.ft.com/3PQn053 - article in today's Financial Times.

Labour’s plans have proved extremely unpopular with grassroots Labour supporters.

I’m a grass roots supporter ( northern city) so are all my friends and family.

We love it.