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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think there's a bunch of miserable so and so's on here sometimes

111 replies

BridportSpectacular · 29/06/2023 10:56

'Why celebrate your birthday?'
'I'd only go on an all accommodation and food paid wedding abroad on sufferance'

Yes, you might not like it, but other people might??

OP posts:

BodegaSushi · 02/07/2023 19:28

dayswithaY · 30/06/2023 18:38

I think people just like being awkward. I commented on a thread about that fabric conditioner that’s meant to make your washing smell like it’s been hung out and dried outside. Which is ridiculous, it’s a fake, synthetic perfume - not fresh air. Someone posted that I was being unkind to people who weren’t lucky enough to have an outside space.

Another time I said I had accidentally stepped back on a woman’s foot and when I apologised she scowled at me and said how much it had hurt. I barely made contact, just brushed the top of her foot. Of course, I got told that some people have debilitating medical conditions that aren’t obvious and she was probably in deep pain caused by me and I was the worst person who had ever lived (or words to that effect).

There’s a lot people on here who are the equivalent of the tedious attention seeking drama queens who you have to put up with in the workplace. Some people will just argue the opposite of whatever you say.

To be fair, going out of your way to comment that a fabric conditioner is synthetic perfume and could never smell like fresh air is rather tedious.

BodegaSushi · 02/07/2023 19:28

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 30/06/2023 19:02

The people who piss me off, are the ones who judge others for not wanting to answer the door when they are not expecting someone. People are quite within their rights to not answer to fucking randoms knocking on their door - they don't have to explain themselves to YOU.

Chances are it's someone trying to sell something they don't want, or someone trying to scam them, or someone trying to rob them..... OR it's someone who wants to keep them yakking for half an hour, OR it's a delivery firm trying to drop a package off to some numpty who CBA to answer their door, (and hasn't left a safe space to drop off,) OR it's a religious caller!

What difference does it make to YOU if people don't answer the door when they're not expecting someone? I can only surmise that no-one answers the door to YOU. I wonder why?! 😆The posters who get antsy and snarky about people not answering the door, are probably the ghastly unwanted popper-inners. 😉They also clearly have no job or anything to do, otherwise they would understand how infuriating it is when randoms knock on your door unexpectedly!

NO I WON'T answer the door if I am not expecting anyone, and I don't have explain myself to you. I don't see people who don't want to answer the door to randoms having a go at people who DO answer it. So live and let live eh, and stop goading and deriding people who don't answer the door unless they're expecting someone. It's making you look incredibly snide and narrow-minded.

Aaaaaand breathe.

Fairislefandango · 02/07/2023 19:31

People are quite within their rights to not answer to fucking randoms knocking on their door.

How do you know it's some 'fucking random' if you don't answer the door?

Thereoughttobeclowns · 02/07/2023 19:31

It’s the ‘AIBU unreasonable to have NO visitors for a month after the baby arrives and after that only MY parents and not the in-laws…’ that get me.

Thankful I don’t know such precious twats in rl. 😂

happyfoot · 02/07/2023 19:32

Fairislefandango · 02/07/2023 19:31

People are quite within their rights to not answer to fucking randoms knocking on their door.

How do you know it's some 'fucking random' if you don't answer the door?

Hence the invention of ring doorbells! you see a man with a survey clipboard, you dont have to answer

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/07/2023 21:26

Fairislefandango · 02/07/2023 19:31

People are quite within their rights to not answer to fucking randoms knocking on their door.

How do you know it's some 'fucking random' if you don't answer the door?

Because if I am not expecting anyone, it can only be a 'fucking random!'

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/07/2023 21:40

@SamW98

Ha ha with you on this. I got told I was socially inadequate because I don’t answer my front door unless I’m expecting someone (and yes my friends would text if they’re on their way) or strike up conversations with random strangers.

No I just keep myself to myself and socialise within my own (pretty wide) circle.

Yep exactly. I have no desire to answer the door if I am not expecting anyone. Don't have to explain myself to anyone either.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/07/2023 21:49

@happyfoot

I'm with you on this. I don't get the obsession with being available to everyone who knocks on your door. I used to answer the door all the time and it was always sales people selling me crap, delivery people asking me to hold packages for neighbours (which I don't want to do as its inconvenient), people with religious leaflets that I don't want, political parties trying to get me to vote for them or people conducting long tedious surveys.

My friends never turn up unannounced so I know it will be someone I'm only going to say no to so why bother? Its not that I am "scared" of answering the door as people always claim, its just that I don't want to for the above reasons. No-one expects that you MUST reply to a text instantly so why does this apply to the door?! Sometimes I also silence my phone because I want some downtime to relax, it doesn't mean I am weird or "scared" FGS.

Exactly. What baffles me is why some posters get SO annoyed and irate with other posters who don't answer the door if they're not expecting anyone. Like, what difference does it make to them? Why does the fact that some people choose to not answer the door unless they're expecting someone enrage other people so much? I mean the people who don't answer the door unless they're expecting someone, don't get annoyed with these people answering the door to ANYone and EVERYone!!! It's clear the 'always answer the door' people have a lot of time on their hands, are not remotely busy, and don't have much to do.

And I said earlier, I can only surmise that these people who get soooo irate at people not answering the door unless they're expecting someone, are the hideous popper-inners who turn up uninvited and unwanted, sit their arse down in the middle of someone's living room, and expect that person to drop everything for them, wait on them hand and foot, and cancel any plans to accommodate them. Irksome as fuck. 😖

Like you, when the door goes and I am not expecting anyone, it's almost ALWAYS someone trying to sell something, a scammer, a religious caller, a person doing a pointless survey that will take half hour of my day, someone from a political party, or a fucking courier trying to dump someone's parcel on me because they CBA to answer the door, and have not allocated a 'safe space' anywhere.

The courier cannot get the person to take the package, but expects ME to take it, and spend MY free time piss-arseing around, trying to get the package to said neighbour. I have to go to their house, try to get them to answer, and then be kept yakking for 20 minutes about fuck all. OR the fucking package hangs around MY house until the neighbour can be arsed to come get it, and then I am STILL kept yakking about fuck all for 20 minutes. No. Just fucking NO!

If I am not expecting anyone, I will NOT answer my door, because there's a 99% chance it will be someone I do NOT want to fucking talk to.

Surlaplage · 03/07/2023 07:14

A few months ago there was a post that has stayed with me. It was a grandmother who was in an awful dilemma. She had two grandchildren whom she had to stay with her quite regularly. One of the grandchildren had severe SEN and she was finding his behaviour increasingly difficult to manage.
She felt that she couldn't handle him anymore but at the same time, felt like the grandchild who didn't have SEN needed some quality time away from her brother.
The poster seemed so lovely, but broken and devastated by the realisation that she just couldn't have her grandson to stay.

She got absolutely torn to shreds. Any normal person would have had huge sympathy for her situation, but the mob absolutely went to town on her and it felt nauseating to watch unfold. I remember commenting that the thread had pretty much restored my lack of faith in humanity. It was so horrible. That poor woman was in such an impossible situation and the thread was so vicious it was deleted.

It was then that I realised that MN does not represent a normal cross section of society and shouldn't be relied on for logical, sound advice.

LoobyDop · 03/07/2023 07:40

Most amused by the posters furiously vicious about how unnecessarily furious other posters get about them not answering the door if they aren’t expecting anyone. Maybe you’d all feel better if you considered that the policy of a complete stranger who could well be hundreds of miles away from you has on door answering is of next to no consequence for your life and happiness?

What links everything in this thread is the absolute inability of a loud proportion of posters to be mildly amused and interested in other people’s batshittery. They just can’t do it, they have to not care one tiny little bit, or get more angry than anyone else ever. Whereas normal people tend to think, yeah, that’s a bit nuts, but I don’t need to read 12 pages of venom about it.

LaMaG · 03/07/2023 08:17

I genuinely find the different viewpoints fascinating but agree its the extreme blinded views that I don't get. Like everything is black and white.

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