to think there's a bunch of miserable so and so's on here sometimes

[BridportSpectacular]

'Why celebrate your birthday?'
'I'd only go on an all accommodation and food paid wedding abroad on sufferance'

Yes, you might not like it, but other people might??

This guy nails it

haha! so true

To be fair, this is a place to air grievances, so it will have a negative slant, having said that, yes, there are a lot of curmudgeons on here

They enjoy the brief high of superiority they get from being smug.

I do not believe many of these threads are authentic, most are just click bait.

Skinnermarink · Today 11:09
about such random stuff too. On a Game of Thrones thread the other day, a poster obviously disagreed with the OP’s interpretation (which is fine) but said

‘you seem to have a lot of trouble grasping nuances. Are you sure GOT is right for you?’ I mean whhhy would you have to be so bloody patronising.

Yes - some really sad people (and that's the charitable version).

Instead of addressing the question OP is asking, you get:

'You sound vile/horrible/snobbish' etc.

'Are you (or is your partner) usually so useless?'

Plus nit-picking at trivial details of the OP's post, rather than addressing the question.

And also, the last refuge of these people, either accusing the OP of jealousy on absolutely no evidence or interpreting slight irritation with frothing rage, as in 'Why are you so angry about this?'

Or perhaps the most pathetic: 'Why do you care?'

Yawn. And the result is that OPs feel the pressure to be much more long-winded in order to include every possible disclaimer, explanation, clarification etc etc to try to prevent this kind of response.

And then you inevitably get a poster going ‘I barely made it to the of that post, did it need to be so long?’ 😂

The responses that make me roll my eyes are the "Too hard to read/I dont know what you are saying/can you repost with paragraphs" ones.

I always think 1. why be so open about your inability to read anything longer than a Facebook post, and 2. I doubt your advice will be so groundbreaking that it's worth the OP's time reformatting the whole thing for you.

No one needs to know that you can't read a wall of text. It adds nothing to thread.

It's got worse, recently. There are a bunch of persistent trolls who go on the most reasonable threads making ridiculous contrary arguments. They are bloody tedious.

Yes it leads to so many disclaimers….‘I realise I’m lucky to be able to afford a holiday/shoes/being able to shop/a car but….’

’

I periodically ask questions on here, sometimes about health and mental health issues, sometimes about relationships with my children. I’m almost always looking either for someone who has experienced something unusual as I know sometimes other affected people can make suggestions the doctor didn’t think of (health) or looking for reassurance. Once I even posted in Mental Health thinking it would be gentler, but almost every time I post, I end up regretting it because some of the comments are so cruel.

That said, I went back to update one the other week and found it was full of holes. One of the nasty commentators was a PBP. I guess that Mumsnet does try to keep some of the nastier posters off here, but it takes some time.

The ones who make the effort to let you know how uninterested they are in the subject of the thread:

"I don't even know who (celebrity) is"

"Oh I never watch live TV"

"I couldn't get worked up about this."

NEWSFLASH: Not everything is about you. Just scroll on by, you smug, tedious wally.

I got called a snob and a stuck up vile, unpleasant person for preferring cotton over polyester once. 😀

You cannot beat the "I don't do social media, it's so bellow me!".

You are on MN Doreen 😂

@BadNomad that's why I could never get over Johnson saying he only wanted two page summaries!! Showed a distinct lack of questioning detail !

Yes, I’ve noticed that too.

There was a thread recently about OP‘s neighbours and how lovely their cooking smelled. She was wondering if she could go and ask them for a plate.

Lots of people joined in saying how their neighbours (mostly from other countries) had shared delicious food with them in the past or how they had done it themselves - there were even a couple of stories about people ending up as couples as a result of a dinner invitation. All in all a really lovely thread.

Then someone joined and started jumping on everyone for praising „foreign“ food, because it was „othering“ the immigrants or something.

No matter what you say, someone out there will think it's either miserable or idiotic.

Yeah the "my little family" people who think that as soon as you are married with children you are obliged to drop everyone else you know. And who then invariably come back moaning about being lonely ten years on when they are bored stupid of their husband and children and don't have any friends.

See also:

People who take great umbrage about being expected occasionally to smile to coworkers or in any social situation
People who complain about very occasional work socials
People who block their friends on social media because they've been stood up once
People who "hate people"

I think a kind of militant social anxiety has developed in recent years. It seems to have really accelerated post COVID. People almost take pride in being as withdrawn, socially inept and awkward as they possibly can be and then wonder why they don't get invited anywhere.

What I've never really understood is how these people seem to manage to find partners and spouses. If you find making friends exhausting and difficult and don't want to socialise with people under any circumstances, how do you manage to find a partner? (which takes a lot more effort and engagement than making friends). I genuinely don't understand how this works. Surely it's easier to make a friend than find a partner?

Yes! I still can’t get over the vitriol a poor op received a few weeks ago when she was asking for Disneyland tips for her 1yo. Everyone decided to ignore her question and instead there were pages upon pages of people ripping her apart for taking a 1yo to disney. How it’s completely fucking stupid and pointless wasting all that money on something she wouldn’t even remember. Some posters even calling her cruel for forcing the baby to travel for no reason. My ds wasn’t even 1 when I took him. He absolutely loved it from start to finish. He might not remember, but my memories and photos of that holiday are priceless.

Absolutely

I don't understand why you are interpreting people who say "I would never go on an all inclusive wedding" or "I would never go on holiday with my in-laws." as meaning that nobody should. I mean, sure... there are some grumpy types on MN, as there are in real life. But giving an opinion absolutely doesn't mean you expect everyone to share it!

I think people just like being awkward. I commented on a thread about that fabric conditioner that’s meant to make your washing smell like it’s been hung out and dried outside. Which is ridiculous, it’s a fake, synthetic perfume - not fresh air. Someone posted that I was being unkind to people who weren’t lucky enough to have an outside space.

Another time I said I had accidentally stepped back on a woman’s foot and when I apologised she scowled at me and said how much it had hurt. I barely made contact, just brushed the top of her foot. Of course, I got told that some people have debilitating medical conditions that aren’t obvious and she was probably in deep pain caused by me and I was the worst person who had ever lived (or words to that effect).

There’s a lot people on here who are the equivalent of the tedious attention seeking drama queens who you have to put up with in the workplace. Some people will just argue the opposite of whatever you say.

The people who piss me off, are the ones who judge others for not wanting to answer the door when they are not expecting someone. People are quite within their rights to not answer to fucking randoms knocking on their door - they don't have to explain themselves to YOU.

Chances are it's someone trying to sell something they don't want, or someone trying to scam them, or someone trying to rob them..... OR it's someone who wants to keep them yakking for half an hour, OR it's a delivery firm trying to drop a package off to some numpty who CBA to answer their door, (and hasn't left a safe space to drop off,) OR it's a religious caller!

What difference does it make to YOU if people don't answer the door when they're not expecting someone? I can only surmise that no-one answers the door to YOU. I wonder why?! 😆The posters who get antsy and snarky about people not answering the door, are probably the ghastly unwanted popper-inners. 😉They also clearly have no job or anything to do, otherwise they would understand how infuriating it is when randoms knock on your door unexpectedly!

NO I WON'T answer the door if I am not expecting anyone, and I don't have explain myself to you. I don't see people who don't want to answer the door to randoms having a go at people who DO answer it. So live and let live eh, and stop goading and deriding people who don't answer the door unless they're expecting someone. It's making you look incredibly snide and narrow-minded.

Ha ha with you on this. I got told I was socially inadequate because I don’t answer my front door unless I’m expecting someone (and yes my friends would text if they’re on their way) or strike up conversations with random strangers.

No I just keep myself to myself and socialise within my own (pretty wide) circle

Agreed. Normal people don't watch threads all day to make shitty comments. It's annoying though because sometimes other losers rally round the goady fucker and then an interesting thread is ruined. Maybe we can agree a policy of ignoring them.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

I'm with you on this. I dont get the obsession with being available to everyone who knocks on your door. I used to answer the door all the time and it was always sales people selling me crap, delivery people asking me to hold packages for neighbours (which I dont want to do as its inconvenient), people with religious leaflets that I dont want, political parties trying to get me to vote for them or people conducting long tedious surveys. My friends never turn up unannounced so I know it will be someone I'm only going to say no to so why bother? Its not that I am "scared" of answering the door as people always claim, its just that I dont want to for the above reasons. Noone expects that you MUST reply to a text instantly so why does this apply to the door?! Sometimes I also silence my phone because I want some downtime to relax, doesnt mean I am weird or "scared" FGS.