To want to escape the ghetto

[N15]

I have name changed for this for obvious reasons.

I live in a part of London that has long resisted gentrification, and has a stubbornly high (and rising) crime rate. Stabbings, and even shootings, are far too common. Neighbours have witnessed shootings, with their children. The local secondaries are seen as finishing schools for criminals, with a lot of gang involvement, and knives carried around.

I really worry about my children when they reach secondary school age. I would sooner home school than send them to the local secondaries, but I don't have the ability to home school due to working. I work as a junior doctor, but the wages are low, especially for London.

Any suggestions for an area with decent schools that doesn't break the bank? I would need 4+ bedrooms. Even open to buying land and building, anything to escape.

To whom?

Right so to one person: you. Good. We can change the law then on your say so.

Thank you change I noticed the unpleasant poster made typos, yet criticised me for one. I am literate, and personal attacks of this nature are not called for. I'm not sure why she feels the need to behave like this.

I was looking for personal recommendations of areas here, and I have had many by lots of helpful posters, including lots of PMs. Thank you to the many helpful people.

Riiiiight…

You're welcome @N15 I'm glad you got what you needed. Some mumsnetters enjoy having the upper hand and will pounce once they see that opportunity, whether they actually care about what they're on about or not. It's the nature of the internet.

Goodluck on moving out of the ghetto and hope you find a safer place.

If you want North London - I would recommend Barnet or envied as you can definitely get a four bed in your budget. I know someone who lives in friern barnet and their children go to aps.

Thank you, I think it's becoming clear that this is the area to look at.

@N15 your children will not get into APS from Friern Barnet, you will have to live in the surrounding roads around the school. You can also check with the LA for the furthest distance to be admitted in the last couple of years.

Good point. I'm not that far from APS currently, but well out of catchment unfortunately. I think likely I'll need to move further out to get enough space though, but could be in a catchment for another good school. It seems Barnet has some pretty decent options.

Me

@N15 why did you apologise for using the word then get so belligerent about it? Why isn’t it ok for people to point out that they find it offensive? That’s not a personal attack on you; just pointing out that many are uncomfortable with its usage.

I find this really surprising. I spend a lot of time there, live very nearby and have never felt unsafe, and nor have my many friends who live there. There is crime - just as there is across London - but I'd have described it as a safe, community orientated area.

I wouldn't say I have been belligerent. I have just found the people who repeatedly criticise without reading the thread annoying, and find the assumptions and generalisations made, as well as the ad hominem attacks, unnaceptable. Frank discussion, as with your posts, is fine.

The point of the thread was to ask for recommendations for neighbourhoods, not discuss the appropriateness of the term ghetto. I understand AIBU prompts more of a debate but it was a simple question - my area doesn't feel safe, what are the alternatives?

I'd be frustrated if a genuine question prompted more comments about the terminology than helpful responses. Sometimes MN's fixation on every word being perfectly appropriate to all people in every circumstance gets in the way of threads being vaguely useful.

Added to which the OP made it clear that they were tied to North London for the foreseeable future for their medical training so comments about moving to the outer Hebrides or wherever weren't particularly helpful either.

Okay… so if someone used the n-word (more emotive I know) while asking an innocent question we would be expected to overlook it? I don’t think so.

The use of “ghetto” belies a certain attitude which some of us found surprising coming from a doctor who presumably has to treat people from that area every day. There are people on here who seem oblivious of the associations that the word historically has and it is important to point it out to them too so that they don’t go bandying it around causing further offence.

The op apologised for using it, but some on here have insisted on continuing to use it despite what we have said and that says a lot about them.

It's not the same as the word you mention. It's not a big deal if one poster wants to point out their issue with the use of ghetto but it's the pile on thereafter.

At that point, a thread asking for suggestions on places to live becomes an argument over her phrasing and defeats the purpose of the thread.

I love London but, having spent some time listening to teenage murder cases at the Old Bailey, there are parts of London that most of us wouldn't choose to bring up kids in. There's slightly grimy and there's dangerous.

Hey OP have you looked at Didcot? It's a commuter town near me (I live in Wantage which would be a pain communing to London) but with that budget you could get a lovely house! There are good schools in the area and it's 38 minute train to Paddington also two good training hospitals JR in Oxford and Great Western in Swindon you could transfer to.

Exactly this.

With a budget of 1 million you have plenty of choice !! Escaping is easy for you.

https://blackcommentator.com/132/132_guest_ghetto.html

This might be of interest to some.

I think Barnet is a lovely place. But it is far out which has advantages and disadvantages. Good luck

You could have asked for recommendations without going on at such length about the “ghetto”. Some of the posters on here haven’t got a clue, but I expect better from someone like you.

To be frank wouldn't people be better answering the woman's query for suggestions , rather than harp on about a word that is very common place. I suspect it's because the OP has a high budget and a professional job- would people have harped on so much if a single mum struggling in Scunthorpe had used the same world? I for one doubt it. I don't think it was used maliciously. I think we all know it's a word used for certain areas with a certain kind of edgeiness to them that not everyone feels at ease in.

I agree. Jeez. OP has moved on and apologised. Not that she needs to but let her be.

Ghetto is not offensive to some of us and we don't all have to tow the line. Some people really don't have a clue besides what happens in their own little world. Everyone not doing so is x,y,z.

Like I said some posters don’t have a clue about why it is offensive and some just don’t care. But to some it is offensive and I wish op could change the title. She would never use that language or descriptions of the area if she wasn’t anonymous.