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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to escape the ghetto

457 replies

N15 · 29/06/2023 08:37

I have name changed for this for obvious reasons.

I live in a part of London that has long resisted gentrification, and has a stubbornly high (and rising) crime rate. Stabbings, and even shootings, are far too common. Neighbours have witnessed shootings, with their children. The local secondaries are seen as finishing schools for criminals, with a lot of gang involvement, and knives carried around.

I really worry about my children when they reach secondary school age. I would sooner home school than send them to the local secondaries, but I don't have the ability to home school due to working. I work as a junior doctor, but the wages are low, especially for London.

Any suggestions for an area with decent schools that doesn't break the bank? I would need 4+ bedrooms. Even open to buying land and building, anything to escape.

OP posts:
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41
horeditchshitestreet · 29/06/2023 15:10

Palmers Green/Winchmore Hill? Nice unpretentious family areas.

Winchmore School is good. Maybe a bit like the school from the Inbetweeners but it doesn't feel unsafe. My son is thriving there... comes home saying 'nah bruv innit' a lot but he's lovely really. Big leafy playing fields.

London1305f · 29/06/2023 15:18

West Finchley, Palmers Green, Southgate. These should all be affordable for your budget.

Ghosttofu99 · 29/06/2023 15:20

I’ve read through your comments and understand that you made a mistake by using the word ghetto inappropriately and have apologised but, as using the term in the way you have in the headline of your op comes across as massively racist, maybe you could edit it or ask MN to edit it.

Anoooshka · 29/06/2023 15:21

Look at Hertford. You wouldn't get much for your money, but you would be able to afford a 4-bedroom house. You've then got the choice of Hertford East into Liverpool St. via Tottenham Hale, or Hertford North into King's Cross.

radiatorpipe · 29/06/2023 15:23

If secondaries are the main concern, why don't you look at them first & work backwards?

Sugargliderwombat · 29/06/2023 15:24

Comedycook · 29/06/2023 14:13

If you're worried about secondary schools op, then you probably should leave London. Your budget will be irrelevant. Even affluent areas in London will have pockets of deprivation and virtually all state schools will have a wide socio economic demographic of pupils.

Yeah leave London if you don't like poor kids.

muckandmerriment · 29/06/2023 15:30

I grew up in Mill Hill, pretty sure your budget would work there or anywhere in Barnet. There are good links to central London, good state schools, lots of open space.

AlexTfan · 29/06/2023 15:39

I‘m appalled by your use of “ghetto” given the connotations of that word. Obviously it is connected to the Holocaust but is a much more ancient than that.

The term has associations of it being an area where certain people- who are regarded as lesser than - are confined. How can you condone the use of that word far less use it quite easily?

Comedycook · 29/06/2023 15:40

Sugargliderwombat · 29/06/2023 15:24

Yeah leave London if you don't like poor kids.

Show quote history

I was putting it more diplomatically but that's pretty much the jist of it. And I see it all the time. People who move to London for the diversity and proclaim to love it, until their kids reach secondary school age and they all bugger off after inflating house prices for those of us who don't mind staying.

AlexTfan · 29/06/2023 15:40

AlexTfan · 29/06/2023 15:39

I‘m appalled by your use of “ghetto” given the connotations of that word. Obviously it is connected to the Holocaust but is a much more ancient than that.

The term has associations of it being an area where certain people- who are regarded as lesser than - are confined. How can you condone the use of that word far less use it quite easily?

*but has a longer history than that

EmmaDilemma5 · 29/06/2023 15:43

Have you looked in Kent? For £800k and under you could have a lovely 4 bed with brilliant local schools around Maidstone/Tonbridge/Sevenoaks outskirts.

All commutable to London, all have major hospitals nearby with Grammar schools and good housing stock.

AlexTfan · 29/06/2023 15:43

It’s actually ironic that you use the racist term given that you are not white. Honestly, what hope is there?

Exchange230316 · 29/06/2023 15:52

With that budget there are plenty of places in the South East/London that are commutable.

radiatorpipe · 29/06/2023 15:52

People who move to London for the diversity and proclaim to love it, until their kids reach secondary school age and they all bugger off after inflating house prices for those of us who don't mind staying.

But the diversity people crow about is the authentic Indian or Italian. You see it on here all the time "I love London & its diversity, where should I move top?". "Wandsworth is the best", "We love Richmond".
And the ones with the big budgets who stay invariably stay chose private for secondaries to insulate themselves from that diversity 😆

radiatorpipe · 29/06/2023 15:56

I moved a bit further out & the amount of school mum friends who said "you can't leave, there's nothing wrong with X school". Obviously their dc won't be going there!

AlexTfan · 29/06/2023 16:01

…number of

Rottenapples · 29/06/2023 16:06

Eh? What are you on about? You can get a 4 bed for £700k in Bromley, it’s gentrified as hell.

Crikeyalmighty · 29/06/2023 16:08

Ah- you mentioned north London whilst I was busy compiling my list- some nice ones on my list though in Barnet and whetstone areas- will now go back and look again at north London!!

landbeforegrime · 29/06/2023 16:09

Sorry, I can't help at all as moved out of London over a decade ago realising it was not a place I wanted to raise children. A friend found a good sized 4/5 bed near New Beckenham station for just under £1mn but that was probably about 5 years ago now and I don't know anything about the area in respect of schools, crime, etc. Sounds like that's the wrong side of London and probably too far out as well. I really hope you get something sorted and find a safer place for you all.

That budget will get you something really lovely close to excellent state/grammar schools in other parts of the country, but it's competitive in those parts too and a 4 bed detached will easily eat up all of that budget in the nicer areas.

fairywhale · 29/06/2023 16:16

Hampstead, Richmond or Blackheath would be good but slightly out of your budget.
Ickenham, Ruislip, Eastcote in West London are extremely nice with low crime, a great community feel and full of preofessional people with kids and you can more house for your money.
Or Home Counties

EmmaDilemma5 · 29/06/2023 16:21

Comedycook · 29/06/2023 15:40

I was putting it more diplomatically but that's pretty much the jist of it. And I see it all the time. People who move to London for the diversity and proclaim to love it, until their kids reach secondary school age and they all bugger off after inflating house prices for those of us who don't mind staying.

Show quote history

So people are supposed to want their kids to grow up around gangs, drugs and crime just so they're politically correct?

And where do you live? I hope you chose somewhere suitably rough so you can claim to be inclusive.

And no, I can't claim to particularly like knife wealding teenagers - funny that.

I think I've seen it all now.

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