To not be outraged that DH has spent the cost of a luxury car on guitars?

[LuthierVandross]

DH is incredibly hardworking and supportive. Pretty much everything he earns goes on investments or into family coffers, aside from the odd (and I mean odd!) Warhammer figure, pair of trainers or bit of guitar kit. We have a really good standard of living and none of us wants for anything. He drives a six year old Focus and is happy with that.

When DFIL was dying he asked each of his boys to spend at least some of their inheritance on something special to them. Not the family (there was money for that too, just them). DH and I thought this was a lovely last wish. DH has spent about 10% of his inheritance (still a large sum) on commissioning a beautiful handmade electric guitar from a famous luthier. He has also bought a covetable vintage guitar and is flying out to the States to collect it (CA, but via the pop museum in Seattle, with DS13).

I thought that this was a rather splendid thing to do, but an old, close friend has heard about it (via her DH and his pub discussions with DH) and is outraged on my behalf. Cue a long, horrified WhatsApp message this morning out of the blue. Apparently it is extremely selfish for DH to spend so much money in this way, he could have bought a Tesla for us all to enjoy ( I have a Fiesta, it’s fine, friend has a Tesla and loves it) and I should be asking for an equivalent sum of money to spend on myself. There’s an undertone of a suggestion that I’m somehow being financially abused.

Am I missing something? Am I being the mug she seems to think I am?

Her ignorance is astounding...one for interfering with your marriage and finances and two for not realising guitars like this go up in value over time....what would she have said if he'd bought antique china?

About 8 tons of CO2 for the flight there and back.

The battery alone on a Tesla does 3-16, with the other footprint being the same as a standard ICE car (the battery adds 15% more carbon than usual). He's not bought a new car at all, and neither has the OP.

They're still up on the deal, environmentally speaking.

🤣🤣🤣

OP I think it's lovely he such things and he can pass them down and great you are being supportive of him following his fathers wishes.

They aren't luxury cars (at least not the 3/Y)! I'm very very happy with mine, but the major reason I have one is that, over 5 years, the sum of the purchase and running costs are cheaper than a Toyota Camry. It's a family car. It's going to get mud smeared all over it, food dropped in it, etc, etc. If I was being given a special gift, it wouldn't be a family car - the guitar is a great option.

Good on your DH. Your friend sounds jealous

second why would you want a Tesla, they seem unreliable. Unable to be fixed at roadside and are very plasticky

Fine, I'll bite. Exactly what type of cars can be "fixed at roadside " these days?

It's only 10% of his inheritance. He could still buy a Tesla if he wanted to but I'm guessing he doesn't want one. Some people just can't understand that other people have different spending priorities but I don't think spending it on a car would really be honouring his father's wishes.

Stealth brag that a close relative has passed away? Park your nasty comments and think about how they came into this money. I’ve got a significant inheritance coming and it’s a huge stress thinking about how to put this money to use in accordance with my mum’s wishes. I’d give it up in a second as well as everything I own to have my mum here and not be tormented by the memory of her dying in front of me.

Op I think it’s a lovely thing to do. It’s exactly what your dfil asked of him and I think he would be delighted with what he has chosen.

😂

Most hobbies seem outrageous to those outside. Spending £5k on a bike is incompressible when you can buy a bike for £400 in halfords but to an avid cyclist it's not barmy.
Quality, uniqueness and specialist items that are appreciated by connoisseurs are lost on many. Your DH has purchased his deal items as a lasting memory to his Father.
Your friend will never understand, thank her for her concern an explain that you don't share her feelings, you are happy he has fulfilled his and his father wishes and dreams.

Certain vintage guitars are escalating in value at an alarming rate. Is he buying it from Norms Rare Guitars? Even rich famous players often dont take their main instruments on tour now as the value can be so high. Look on it as investment. £50k spent today could be at £100k in a few years

The guitars are an investment, the Tesla will decrease in value.