To not be outraged that DH has spent the cost of a luxury car on guitars?

[LuthierVandross]

DH is incredibly hardworking and supportive. Pretty much everything he earns goes on investments or into family coffers, aside from the odd (and I mean odd!) Warhammer figure, pair of trainers or bit of guitar kit. We have a really good standard of living and none of us wants for anything. He drives a six year old Focus and is happy with that.

When DFIL was dying he asked each of his boys to spend at least some of their inheritance on something special to them. Not the family (there was money for that too, just them). DH and I thought this was a lovely last wish. DH has spent about 10% of his inheritance (still a large sum) on commissioning a beautiful handmade electric guitar from a famous luthier. He has also bought a covetable vintage guitar and is flying out to the States to collect it (CA, but via the pop museum in Seattle, with DS13).

I thought that this was a rather splendid thing to do, but an old, close friend has heard about it (via her DH and his pub discussions with DH) and is outraged on my behalf. Cue a long, horrified WhatsApp message this morning out of the blue. Apparently it is extremely selfish for DH to spend so much money in this way, he could have bought a Tesla for us all to enjoy ( I have a Fiesta, it’s fine, friend has a Tesla and loves it) and I should be asking for an equivalent sum of money to spend on myself. There’s an undertone of a suggestion that I’m somehow being financially abused.

Am I missing something? Am I being the mug she seems to think I am?

I think he has spent his money beautifully and his dad would be so happy that he could provide this (once in a lifetime) gift to his son.

The friend sounds odd. Like, odd odd. It's not like you are there on the bare bones of your arse whilst he hides money from you.

I wonder how you responded. I would be tempted not to.

She's being ridiculous and it's none of her business. Your FIL wanted to treat his children. It was his dying wish.

Love the user name

Friend is a moron!

As a fellow musician, albeit in a somewhat different sphere, I’m with your DH. As for Teslas I don’t even drive!

Thanks all. I'm grateful for the reassurance that we are a normal couple in this regard :)

I don't want a squabble with my friend about it, and it's not really a topic that's open for discussion. So I went for the great reply suggested above:

'Thanks for your message. To be honest, it's a bit tricky to play Stairway to Heaven on a Tesla.'

Her reply was along the grounds of: Fair enough, it's your money but I wouldn't let X (her DH) pull a stunt like that. Also, she hopes we get to have a family holiday as well as DH and DS going to California (er, yes we do, thanks for asking, it's the one to France I mentioned when I saw you three weeks ago).

She's clearly decided DH is a gadabout cad who needs firmer discipline on the home front. Nothing could be further from the truth, but there we are.

Fair to say, relations feel a bit tense and we will be cooling things off for a little while.

I bet you could spend a Tesla worth of cash on a clarinet, no? DD is a bassoonist, and I am highly attuned (excuse the pun) to the cost of woodwind instruments!

Oh fuck off with her “you could have bought a Tesla” Like it’s something to aspire to in life.
i depreciating asset is not something I would actively chose to spend inheritance on.

what a lovely thing to have spent his money on and what a lovely thing to share with ds.

it’s none of your friends fucking business.

fucking Tesla indeed

Hmm but a Tesla is hardly a luxury car. It's an electric car.

Haha sorry I know I'm missing the point but I find it weird that lots of Tesla drivers seem to have this hoity toity attitude.

He bought something special and considered with his inheritance- this exactly what it is for. It's also highly likely that the guitar will increase in value (get good specialist insurance) and a Tesla will definitely decrease in value. Just h this year, the prices were suddenly decreased which pissed off a lot of people who'd purchased one right before the shock announcement

It’s none of her business. Ignore her. It’s his money to spend. It’s his fathers dying wish. Also things like this tend to appreciate in value over time, so in fact this may be money well spent.

@LuthierVandross It’s really none of her business. I would distance myself from your ‘friend’, she doesn’t sound very nice, in fact she seems to want to cause trouble where none exists.

Perfect reply! I'd much rather have a nice guitar and my old Mini than a Tesla, and it sounds like your DH has followed his dad's wishes perfectly.

This is fabulous. My husband would love this and would make exactly the same purchases

Same in our house...DH spends it on guitars...I spend it on road bikes.
Nobody else's business.

I think the "My husband spent such a huge amount of money, but we can just so very easily afford it" Mumsnet post is what @BiscuitsandPuffin is refering to!

🙄Yawn.

You’re happy, he’s happy, and it’s none of your friend’s business.

Maybe you should query why she’s spent money on a Tesla when you can buy much cheaper electric cars that are no less comfortable.

In fact, get her to send over her bank statement so you can identify any inappropriate or profligate spending.

So he's spent 10% on something equivalent to 1 luxury car, leaving enough money to buy 9 other luxury cars?

Maybe friend is horrified as she;s not aware there's another 9 luxury cars worth in the bank.

Personally I had no idea that Tesla's were even considered luxury cars. I couldn't get excited about owning a Tesla personally. Mind you I couldn't get excited about a guitar either, now if you'd said round the world trip.....

So he's taking a transatlantic flight to pick up a guitar? Carbon footprint is obviously not an issue either.

It sounds a live,y way to remember his father

as to your friend I would simply text back ‘it’s none of your business’

Lovely

My neighbour has a Tesla after an electric beemer.

He's spent thousands rendering his house built of slate blocks. Less than 20 years, in humid air, 400m up, -10 in winter, up to 45 in summer, it will start shaling off. I know, the roofers knew, they confirmed it. I'd lived in the family home. Good roofers. The guy shrugged, the client knew what he wanted. With social charges at 100% on the employers he did the job to stay in business.

After the twat bought a Tesla. He didn't measure his garage, or the car, just bought it to show how much money he's got. Can't shut the garage door when it's in.

I laugh every time I see it.

Imagine he'll have a lovely time with his insurers if it's nicked. He probably claims it's in a locked garage.

I'll try and post the photo later.

Think it's a lovely thing, every time he plays he'll remember how much he was loved.

Imagine going on at someone about their purchasing choices when you drive a Tesla 😂😂😂😂

Ask your DH to buy you a new friend now you're rich.

Tell her to keep her beak out, ridiculous wench