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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To call this an assault?

374 replies

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 21:21

I was shopping in one of those supermarkets, that isn’t actually a supermarket but sells all the stuff that you know that you don’t know you need until you walk in today. When I finished, I approached the till area. There were a few tills with one woman on one till. the other tills were empty. I joined the queue for the till and there were three or four people ahead of me.

I had a trolley with two items in it, and I was holding the trolley with both hands. At some point the cashier left her position at the till to walk towards the customer services desk and look at two ladies working there. I didn’t realise she had done this until she yelled over aggressively to them “I’m sending some customers down to you because I’ve got plenty of them here” or words to that effect.

Without me expecting it she then aggressively physically pushed my trolley while I still had hold of it with both hands so that it spun 45° to the right in the direction of the customer services desk. My arms were pulled and my body was spun around as it went. She then turned around and went back to her till.

I think this was an assault.

I was shocked and upset… A few people that I know agree with me, and a few don’t

AIBU?

OP posts:
Jubaju · 27/06/2023 22:00

Are you sure you mean 45degrees? 😂
sounds like a terrifying ordeal!

ColourMeBlue · 27/06/2023 22:01

Bloody heck,a bit of sympathy and understanding wouldn't go amiss here.im so socially awkward it's unbelievable,and an incident like that would have pushed me over the edge.The OP asked was it assault.im missing the part where she said "could you please all ridicule my day and make it even worse than what it is"

ProfessorXtra · 27/06/2023 22:01

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:00

@ProfessorXtra because I also span with it as I was gripping it at the time, like I said in my post

Span with it? A whole 45 degrees 😂😂😂

andasthedaysgoby · 27/06/2023 22:01

If you were you actually served at the till at the customer services desk, then surely this was the perfect place to make a complaint about your customer experience. A sort of two birds, one stone situation - didn't you raise the issue there OP?

Original poster
trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:02

@ProfessorXtra I never said that I span 45°, my trolley did, and it dragged me with it

OP posts:
WTFAreYouForReal · 27/06/2023 22:02

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 21:28

I am interested to know why you think it wasn’t an assault?

Because she didn't touch you Confused

Bs0u416d · 27/06/2023 22:02

I've only just gotten over trying to imagine that sub imploding. Now all I can think about is OP's trolly trauma. Could you do us a diagram or perhaps a reenactment? TIA

Original poster
trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:03

@andasthedaysgoby what I did afterwards is it really relevant as to whether it was an assault or not, that’s all I’m asking

OP posts:
ProfessorXtra · 27/06/2023 22:03

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:02

@ProfessorXtra I never said that I span 45°, my trolley did, and it dragged me with it

So how many degrees did spin?

wutheringkites · 27/06/2023 22:04

Can something spin 45 degrees?

Lostinbrum · 27/06/2023 22:04

You should have complained to the manager while you were there. Can you seriously imagine yourself going to the police station to report a worker in a store grabbed your trolley and shoved it 45 degrees

HisNibs · 27/06/2023 22:04

45 degrees? 1/8 of a turn? Imagine the g-force of that 🙄

Original poster
trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:06

Sorry, I actually meant 90°… So I was facing north, for example, and I was span into an easterly facing direction

OP posts:
ColdHandsHotHead · 27/06/2023 22:06

I'm getting Dancing on Ice vibes here . . . anyone else?

TheLadyofShalott1 · 27/06/2023 22:06

Hi @trustyrustie unless the law has changed quite recently, being actually touched by someone in an aggressive or threatening manner is 'assault and battery', if someone were to say threaten you with their fist that is 'assault'. As usual, things like you encountered are open to interpretation, which is why without either being there or being able to talk to that member of staff it is very hard for any of us to judge, but I don't think it is something that the police would consider serious enough to bother chancing that lady with unless there are other extenuating circumstances.

If you are a healthy looking, but also very pregnant lady, that could make a difference, as she could have easily made you fall over. The same thing goes for if you are an elderly frail looking person, or a health person with something like an obvious plaster cast on your arm or leg. What I think that you should have done at the time - even if you look perfectly fine and healthy - is speak to the manager, as that member of staff was incredibly rude to do that, and what's more, most of the Mumsnetters on here who have also treated you horribly and made fun of you, would have actually complained there and then.

Maybe shock made you not complain at the time, so I think that you now should send an email to the manager of that store, and a copy to their Head Office, as that member of staff obviously needs some retraining and/or some extra support from HR if anything untoward or unfortunate is happening to her with the staff at that store, or even in her private life. Apart from that, I think that the store should send you an apology, and a big bunch of flowers, and maybe some chocolates too. Obviously they don't have to do that, but if I was the manager there, it is what I would do.

I'm sorry that people have been so nasty to you on this thread, you don't deserve it. Anyone would think you had started this thread asking how you could get a member of staff the sack, and maybe even sent to prison. But you didn't, you simply asked for some support that it was ok to feel a bit shocked and abused by her actions, and of course you are entitled to feel the way it made you feel. If you had asked if you should go to the police over it then my answer would have been no, not on this occasion, but management do need to be made aware of it.

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/06/2023 22:06

@trustyrustie what do you think assault is? And how do you think that compares with quickly moving a trolley a grand 1/8th of full circle to point it in a slightly different direction while someone else is holding onto it? Do you think you’re possibly being slightly over-sensitive and dramatic about it?

runnerjp · 27/06/2023 22:06

That’s not even in the same ball park as assault. Don’t be ridiculous.

andasthedaysgoby · 27/06/2023 22:07

@trustyrustie I'm not sure, I've become over invested and thought some evidence (i.e. a concern raised at customer service) immediately after the incident took place may help with the investigation?

Original poster
trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:07

@Howdoesitworkagain sorry, I actually meant she spun me 90° towards the customer service desk, which was to the right of me

OP posts:
MumYourBabyGrewUpToBeACowboy · 27/06/2023 22:07

I have MS and hypermobility that’s caused me to need joint surgeries. This kind of forceful surprise physical contact could really hurt me. If you’re hurt, OP, I’d take it up with the shop and depending on how badly you were hurt get your gp to document the injury.

MichelleScarn · 27/06/2023 22:07

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:06

Sorry, I actually meant 90°… So I was facing north, for example, and I was span into an easterly facing direction

Well 90 degrees!! That's HORRIFIC!

ProfessorXtra · 27/06/2023 22:08

trustyrustie · 27/06/2023 22:07

@Howdoesitworkagain sorry, I actually meant she spun me 90° towards the customer service desk, which was to the right of me

That’s still not enough to make you spin around.

iholdgrudges · 27/06/2023 22:08

Were you in B&M?

HunkaMunkasslipper · 27/06/2023 22:09

I am not sure on this one but you don't have to touch or hurt someone to assault them. Spitting is assault in some cases. As is cutting someone's hair.

MumYourBabyGrewUpToBeACowboy · 27/06/2023 22:10

It’s not the degree of movement, it’s the force of the shove (to the trolley she was holding) that could have hurt her.

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