To think DS needn't wear lace-up shoes to school?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS is 9 and in Year 4. A couple years ago, DH decided it was time for DS to switch to lace-up shoes and bought him trainers, which after much unhappiness, DS learned to tie, and he has worn lace-up casual shoes ever since.

His school shoes are still rip-tape, though. He is due a new pair. DH is adamant the new ones must lace up. DS is adamant that he hates lace-up shoes and will not wear them. In the meantime, his shoes are getting too short. I think they hurt his feet, but he won't admit it, because he doesn't want lace-up shoes.

I understand DH's point that DS should know how to tie shoes, but I think this has already been achieved, and it's not necessary to force it with the school shoes, as long as DS continues with the lace-up trainers.

By the way, the school couldn't care less. Either fastening is fine with them, as long as they are reasonable school shoes.

And yes, the whole thing seems silly, but I'm stuck between DH's and DS's stubbornness, watching DS limping around in too-short shoes.

YANBU - DS's new school shoes should be rip-tape
YABU - DS's new school shoes should have laces

Goodness, just get him the rip-tape shoes. DS wore them well into secondary school and is perfectly well adjusted! (and can tie laces)

I really don't understand the issue. He can tie laces so it's not like he hasn't learned. Just get the rip tape shoes!

Your DH needs to pick his battles - I'd get the whatever shoes make it easier for getting ready in the morning so the rip-tape ones. Actually, given the time of year, I'd get whichever are cheaper as he needs them immediately and his feet might grow again when he goes back to school in September.
I'd want to know why DH cares so much - your son knows how to tie shoelaces, why does your DH feel the need to insist he demonstrates this every school day?

You DH is being weird.

This is such a silly battle to pick. Let him have the rip tape ones. At secondary my son always had slip on school shoes because it was quicker to put them on after PE.

Wearing too small shoes because you don't like the new ones is something I did as a kid and I think it's what's deformed my toes a bit. Get him the strappy ones - they are so much quicker and won't untie.

I'm stuck between DH's and DS's stubbornness, watching DS limping around in too-short shoes.

Can't you just take your son out and buy him some shoes?

Your husbands level of control over you both is scary.

What a petty thing for your DH to be making a fuss about. My DS had velcro shoes until Y9 because that's what he wanted. He could tie laces but preferred the easier fastening.

I would buy whichever he actually wants - I don't see why it matters. I didn't learn to tie my laces at all til I was 12. I can now tie and apron behind my back and have no qualms at all about laces.

I'm also a fully functioning adult in spite of my late lace tying!

Has your husband seen what other children are wearing? Don't think I've seen a boy at my primary school with laces for years! Whereas in the past velcro was mainly for infants.

Just buy the rip tapes - this definitely falls into a 'pick your battles' category - and this is not one to pick!

One tiny thing which can can avoid stress daily - do it

In 2 years he will be at secondary school; I have never seen any of ds or dd's friends in anything except lace-ups - so your dh can be happy then!

Buy him the shoes he likes and feels comfortable in. He's the one who has to wear them every day.

Unnecessary battle to have, laces are a bit old fashioned now when you think about it especially with the myriad of other methods you can use.

DD has been able to tie her laces since she was 4, but hated being late for getting changed from PE as everyone else had velcro or slipons, I bought her silicon dress shoe laces from amazon and she's worn them in her shoes ever since. They allow you to turn lace up shoes into slip on whilst still being held to your feet so you can run around. They might be a good option as they allow you to wear dressier shoes however I expect the bee your DH has in his bonnet is about the act of tying.

Yet another ridiculous, controlling, inflexible DH here. They seem to be rife on MN at the moment. Of course your son should just have the shoes he wants and likes.

Good grief, buy your child some correctly fitting shoes!
If DH even notices they aren’t lace up, tell him they were the only ones available in the correct size.
I doubt he would even notice them though.
What a ridiculous thing to get cross about.
He can tie laces. Fine. I can tie laces too. I have a range of different shoe styles available. Being able to tie laces doesn’t mean that’s the only option now open to you.

Just get the lad the rip-tape shoes. I love rip-tape shoes because I don’t have to double knot my lace up because they keep coming untied and less likely to trip over them when they do or get them stuck. Many teens and adults wear slip on and rip-tape shoes and no one thinks anything about it. Your DH is being ridiculous.

Is your DH a twat about many things?

My DS is dyspraxic, and still can't tie his shoelaces (we give it a go every year or so, but it's getting to the point where we both consider it a bit of a joke tradition, since his brain just can't manage to figure out tying knots, let alone a bow and knot)

So he wears slip-ons where he can, and has elasticated laces where he can't (either the ones with the little pulley thingy, or screw together, or for formal shoes I just tied the bow and super-glued it) - eg. for rugby boots or walking boots.

My dad's worn slip-on shoes for work his whole life. I can't see the point of mucking about if you don't have to.

How much of a big deal is your DP making of this. What kind of relationships are going on here - could elasticated laces be the way forward?

@RecycleMePlease have a look at silicon laces you'll want dress shoe ones for formal school type shoes and the wider ones for trainers etc save you super gluing laces.

Only downside I've found is that they can be tricky to get into smaller eyelets and I've never managed to get them out to reuse them on other shoes.

Thanks Single - I will :)

DS started Y7 in slip ons from Sketchers, he’s perfectly capable of tying laces but getting ready is a rush so he preferred it.
Hes in Y9 now and on the 3 pair of the same shoes so your DS should be able to choose the school shoes they want (within reason and to fit school rules of course)

Velcro is easier. My dc in high school wears velcro as finds them comfier

What is it with all the man babies today. Your DH is being weird and would he even notice if you got DC new shoes?

This wouldn't be an issue for me, I'd just buy him some rip tape shoes that fit and that's that. Just buy the shoes OP.

He’ll be less likely to tread down the heels of rip tape ones. Lace-ups he’ll do what we all do and try to get them on and off without undoing the laces

Can't u just get slip ins and compromise