To think DS needn't wear lace-up shoes to school?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS is 9 and in Year 4. A couple years ago, DH decided it was time for DS to switch to lace-up shoes and bought him trainers, which after much unhappiness, DS learned to tie, and he has worn lace-up casual shoes ever since.

His school shoes are still rip-tape, though. He is due a new pair. DH is adamant the new ones must lace up. DS is adamant that he hates lace-up shoes and will not wear them. In the meantime, his shoes are getting too short. I think they hurt his feet, but he won't admit it, because he doesn't want lace-up shoes.

I understand DH's point that DS should know how to tie shoes, but I think this has already been achieved, and it's not necessary to force it with the school shoes, as long as DS continues with the lace-up trainers.

By the way, the school couldn't care less. Either fastening is fine with them, as long as they are reasonable school shoes.

And yes, the whole thing seems silly, but I'm stuck between DH's and DS's stubbornness, watching DS limping around in too-short shoes.

YANBU - DS's new school shoes should be rip-tape
YABU - DS's new school shoes should have laces

I couldn't live like this. I also couldn't subject my child to live like this.

i wear rip tape trainers and I left school a while ago. They are more common now for kids and adults alike. While you are shopping why don’t you treat your husband to some new shoes..Shoes for DH

My 10 yo is still in velcro shoes for school - he's far to much of a faffer to be tying laces in school. OP, is your DH controlling about other things too?

This is how it starts. If dh has a huge opinion on something then I'm delighted for him but I won't be sending a short list of coats. He'll need to take on that task himself. I've too much on to be doing stuff like that for school coats.

I agree isn’t being 9 the definition of childish. I’m obviously a childish over sixty, as I have trainers with both laces and zips, and shock, horror I only use the zips!

And it's not just the shoes, it's really anything DH notices that he doesn't like or thinks should be a certain way. For example, I generally choose and buy all of DS's clothes, but a few years ago, DH noticed that he didn't like something about DS's coat, so now I get DH's approval on any coat before I buy it for DS.

And this was your missed opportunity. The first time he had a strong opinion on a coat you should have conceded all coat buying decisions and responsibilities to him. Same with the shoes. Then all shoe and coat related issues naturally are his to solve.

Look I kind of get it. I have had grown ass adults not able to read an analogue clock. I don’t think that your DH is necessarily wrong for insisting that your kids gain and practice life skills. But if it means that much then he owns it and all that goes along with it.