To ask what's so great about being sober

[sallysaysrelax23]

There's so much talk about how great sobriety is these days, I don't think it's ever been cooler to be sober.

I desperately need to lose weight and I know drinking isn't helping my case. I drink over the weekend (usually wine) and I may have a gin and tonic a few nights during the week. I'm certainly not one for getting sloshed like I did in my twenties but I'm afraid I still really enjoy that relaxed, tipsy feeling I get from one or two drinks at home in the evening.

I don't think it affects my sleep or my mood the next day particularly (I know many will say it does and I just don't realise it) but I know I make poor food choices after a drink and that the calories in wine and gin are pretty significant too. So I'm looking for inspiration to cut down - what do you love about not drinking?

Today I realised that I don’t get on with alcohol. We had friends round on Saturday afternoon - expected them to leave about 6, they left at 10:30. Lots of wine was enjoyed but yesterday was a right off as so tired, and very meh this morning.
I think I will go back to the odd drink and no alcohol after 8-9pm.

I really enjoy wine but it’s just not worth it.

Cheaper than drinking, no hangovers (unless you drink too many sugary soft drinks!), no morning after anxiety or regret, better for your health.

@chupachucks thank you for posting that video. I stopped drinking around 6 months ago after getting into a daily habit and was starting to think 'oh maybe I could start again, just one or two glasses' etc. Just watched that and it has totally reaffirmed my decision to stop. Alcohol is nobody's friend.

In answer to the OP, I didn't lose weight immediately on stopping because I was replacing wine with chocolate but now I am on an even keel I have lost weight, have time to exercise and my skin and face look so much better - although I only really noticed after 6 months so I think you have to give it a good go before seeing the benefits. Although any reduction in alcohol consumption is beneficial.

I'm just like you, I enjoy wine and myself and my partner enjoy having a few glasses and watching a TV series.
We don't go out much(children and money prevent this,and crap wine in pubs etc) so having a drink feels like a treat and like you say if we didn't it would just be another boring week day night sat on the laptop or I usually go to bed early and read....
Lately however the days we have a drink have crept up,the sunny weather makes me want a drink more...late tea out in the deck with a wine etc....and I'm not one who can only have a glass,it's half the bottle or more.
I rarely have hang overs and function th same after drinking,but I know I sleep better without a drink and am just more "switched on the next day.
We are trying to cut a day of drinking out and also not reach for the crisps everytime we do drink!
It is really only a weight issue for me,I want to decrease my drinking because I can see the weight is slowly creeping on and my OH has definitely put on weight.

How about you try it for a couple of months (with a positive attitude about it) and see how you feel? While trying it, read This Naked Mind.

I have to stress I'm no longer the type of 'go out and get shitfaced and ruin my life' kind of drinker

By your own admission your measures of gin are 4x the pub measure. A couple of THESE every night IS exactly the kind of drinking that is problematic, even if your tolerance is high.

The good thing about it is not being drunk or hungover. I am an alcoholic and nearly killed myself drinking. I have been sober for 20 years.
I'd have ended up dead in a ditch if I wasn't sober now.
I drank to drown out the fact I had Complex PTSD which hadn't been diagnosed back then.
Once I had a diagnosis I decided this wasn't going to ruin my life and I stopped drinking and got counselling and medication.

I mean... Not living in fear that I am on the road to ruining my body and my childrens' childhoods was good enough for me!

But surely the benefits of sobriety are obvious?

Why don't you ask yourself - what are the benefits of alcohol? The benefits of actual alcohol itself, not the socialised/romanticised/habit based ones.

If you really want to break it down, try reading Alcohol Explained. That may well put you right off!

Some people take the attitude that non drinkers are smug.

Others view us as useless alcoholics who have failed at drinking and can't handle it.

I don't think it's either of those things. It's the right choice for some for many reasons.

My advice would be to read Alcohol Explained and also to do a cost/benefit analysis. Also probably to try a few months off so that you can compare. If you struggle to take a few months off, then it would be worth thinking about whether the attachment to drinking runs deeper - as logically it is not good for your health and if you're looking to improve health, it's a straight forward win to quit.

I have just recently decided enough is enough. I was having a g&t or two a night and wine on top at the weekend. The weight is just going on and my loose trousers were suddenly a bit tight. Plus the groggy feeling every morning, not a hangover but not feeling sharp or rested. Also, my memory is being affected.
I do measure my drinks anyway so I know how much I have had, but now I will be cutting the wine right down and just having g&ts at the weekend, just a single with low cal Fevertree tonic. I have also bought their flavoured tonic waters to have with just ice. It's only been a week, but I am feeling a bit better already.

What’s so great about being an alcoholic?

Buy a jigger and measure your gin so you know what you are drinking . Buy one bottle of wine and make it last the week. Don't have any more in the house each week. Once it's gone it's gone. Everything in moderation. You don't need to stop completely if you enjoy it. Just be aware of your units.

I never see it as a binary - sober/drunk whatever.

For me, I enjoy a life that includes sensory and social pleasures.

Sensory pleasure comes from the fact that I love the taste of a lot of drinks that have alcohol in them, and that be replicated with alternatives. Good wine can be like capturing sunshine in a glass, it tastes joyous and life affirming - just as good food can.

Add to that the social element. People are brought together by the sharing of food and drink. Many of my happiest memories involve sitting around tables with food and wine and family and friends, an ice cold beer on a sunny day, or a pre-dinner cocktail.

I do think you have to be mindful about it though. I love what alcoholic drinks can bring to those occasions, but if you take away the social element because you’re drinking alone, and if you take away the sensory pleasure because you’re buying something to get you pissed rather than to savour and enjoy, then drinking becomes something very different indeed.

Being fully sober is shite quite frankly. It's better than drinking yourself to death but only marginally

Why?

I get what you are saying here, and it does sound nice. However, I wonder if it's sort of the other way round...

E.g. the beer seems nice because it is part of those nice memories? In a sense it's the memory that is nice not specifically the alcohol in the drink? If there had never been any alcohol in those drinks, would those experiences be just as lovely?

I might be off the mark here but just wondering, as alcohol can often have this social/relaxing connotation when often the reality of drinking for many (such as your last example) isn't really that.

Most absolutist life choices are IME

I think it's great

What's so great about it?

When I say sober I am talking full abstention btw. I guess I didn't make that fully clear in my earlier post

@SparklyShark - I think there is an element of that.

Alcohol does carry flavour in a way that non-alcoholic drinks just can’t (although there are some pretty decent ones), it gives drinks body and “mouth feel” which is part of the pleasure (in much the same way that fat carries flavour!).

You also can’t ignore the physical effects of alcohol. For a lot of people there is that magical level where conversation seems to flow and sparkle and it can feel easier to get on other people’s wavelengths. Some element of that will be the alcohol effectively acting like a placebo, but the thing about placebos is that they work!

Alcohol has taken a central role in the way humans have interacted with other humans across pretty much all cultures and time periods going back thousands of years, from celebrations to observing religious rites. I’m happy to embrace that history!

Oh you mean never drinking alcohol at all?
I like an occasional drink but if I never could again I would be ok with it

This would suggest that alcohol is the only thing that makes life fun, which is rubbish.

It doesn't suggest that at all

I can think of no other reasonable meaning @OneTC.

Not for me. I'm 20 years sober.. I have a fat, better life without it. I'm sorry you're finding it hard