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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to actually want a husband and another child

98 replies

fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:28

Is it that f'dd up that is my ambition?

Apparently i should focus on my career, i'm not like that, i admit it, i don't care about creer, i care about baking cakes, jam and kids.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 22/02/2008 22:32

What's this about firefly?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/02/2008 22:32

Your skyward aspirations are fine.

I fear you'll always reach out for what you feel is unattainable though. If you had the husband and apron on, you would probably be bored pretty quickly.

How are you doing lovely lady?

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:34

I just want to fall in love and a man fall in love with me and have a tradional family. I'm good at it.

I get told i am talented and to work hard, alone, i don't want to. I want to be a wife and a home maker.

I'm not allowed to think that in this day and age. It's weak.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 22/02/2008 22:36

Of course it's not weak. It may be your calling. You are quite brave to admit it, not weak.
Everyone wants to be loved at the end of the day

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/02/2008 22:36

Who says you arent?

Feminism is all about freedom of choice. You can choose that for yourself.

But, I'm not sure this is about feminism.

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:37

vvq, i am pretty lost, spiritually, emotionally, not physcally but mayb practically.

How are you?

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:39

Well that's what i want grufallos wife, and if i had it i think everything else would feel better, i dont just think, i know.

I would like the support of a man, a husband, and another child.

Sod being "strong"

I want it!

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/02/2008 22:41

I'm okay. Got horrid AF pains today. But been on a diet and lost 18lb so far.

Remind me - are you on AD's?

MAMAZON · 22/02/2008 22:44

Im the strong independant type too FF.

but sometimes, just sometimes i wish i could have a bit of time off from it. i want to come home to a cuddle and the strength of a man.

i want to be looked after for a change, to have that feeling of safety and security.

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:46

Exactly Mamzon, it is like we're being told we don't need to follow rituals of thousand of years. I want a mans imput, god knows why, but i miss it.

VVQ, no, why?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 22/02/2008 22:53

My bf did a mantra everyday and visualised his perfect man. He swears that made it happen!

WinkyWinkola · 22/02/2008 22:56

Weak? Weak? It's called weak by those who don't do the graft of childcare and home care every day.

My DH is thankful for Monday mornings.

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:56

your breast feed or your boy friend or your best friend;)

See i wouldn't go that far, not for a mantra, its just the way it is.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/02/2008 22:57

Because, you seem to go quite up and down, almost in a manic manner.

I hope you arent offended by that.

i think everyone wants to be loved and to know that there is someone to look after them - not necessarily all the time - just if you want/need them to look after you. Nothing abnormal about that at all.

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 22:59

Yes, weak,

People say things like this

Oh my goodness, i may aswell be a single mum my husband does nothing

or

Why do you care i would love to be single

or

If i was you i would pull someone this weekend

or

Why cant you get a man anyway

or

why do you want a man anyway

etc

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/02/2008 23:01

Are these people meaningful in your life?

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 23:02

vvq, if you knew me you would know that wasn't true, maybe it comes out like that, but i try to stay level headed. I am a normal human being who has had a rough week, yes that means i'm down, when i have a good week i am up.

It is not my mood swings. it is what is happening in my life.

OP posts:
arewenearlythereyet · 22/02/2008 23:03

might be a case of the 'grass is always greener' both for you and for them. I've been in both places, both married for a long time and now single. each has its merits and its downsides x

HonoriaGlossop · 22/02/2008 23:03

Just don't listen to other people or ask for their views! I had a friend at college who at 18 knew with certainty that when the course was over, she wanted to get married, have babies, bake, and join the local WI.

She was proud and unapologetic and we accepted her wishes because she was like that.

I remember looking at her and thinking oh, that's SO not what I want, I want to FIND myself and have a CAREER etc etc, then when I had DS at 35 and was FLOORED by my need to be at home with him, I wished I had done it then and had the insight she did into what would make me truly happy in life!

nutcracker · 22/02/2008 23:03

FF YANBU at all. I want exactly the same thing.

I would love nothing more than to meet a bloke, fall in love, get married and have a baby and be a sahm.

I want that more than any job or anything else ever.

For some reason though, it is wrong apparently, and we should want more

nutcracker · 22/02/2008 23:05

I think people think i want that because I am lazy and don't want to get a job. They don't stop to think that it might just actually be what I want.

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 23:05

Not more Nutty, less apparently, we should not want for that, we dont need it, thats why single mums are crap ;)

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 23:07

We are the most slagged off people in society

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 22/02/2008 23:07

I wish being a SAHM was something one could have work experience at.

I'm a SAHM. I never thought I would be. I have two degrees, had a great career but stay at home because I think it's important for my DCs.

I'm not the happiest though. It's real graft at it's most mundane at times. It can be lonely too even though we're out and about every day.

I'm not slighting your dream. I'm just saying nothing is perfect. Lots of people will have comments to make about your chosen lifestyle, whatever it is. Ignore other people and their negativity. Including me!

Original poster
fairyfly · 22/02/2008 23:10

Well ,aybe not a sahm becaue i'm good at what i do, but to do it alone is hard.

I often think, women, would not cope if they were alone. It is harder than you can imagine.

OP posts:
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