To ask why there are so many kids with mental health problems?

[Newmama29]

I’ve been scrolling through some threads recently & I find people are talking a lot about their kids/teenagers having mental health problems. Why is this so prominent now? I, myself, was only a teenager 10 years ago so I am baffled as to how many people claim their teens have mental health problems. Is it just that we talk about it more or is society causing this?

I'm 37 but I come form a different culture where it was totally normal for both parents to work for for children to be in full time childcare almost from birth. I think I was in nursery from 6m onwards. I have no mental health issues (that I'm aware of 😂) and am very close with my parents. As are all those I grew up with. The childcare theory is rubbish.

@unknownuser1 I’m sorry you have to suffer with your mental health. I suppose I know that people have always suffered from mental health conditions but I was more interested in why it’s more prevalent now. Yes, I know there will be many teens that have been exposed to awful situations that can cause this but I am also interested in the teens that have had “average” childhoods that are still suffering. Is it genuine mental health problems or is it normal teen emotions that we now diagnose? Are we able to recognise what is a normal feeling or does everything have to be a “condition”?

Between the ages of 14 and 18, whilst not at school or on enforced family outings, my brother spent his whole time in his bedroom, emerging only for meal times and to use the bathroom. He only spoke to family members when they spoke directly to him, and then he said as little as possible. Likewise at school. He had no friends. This was before the days of the internet, so he basically communicated with no one.

Our parents dismissed this as "a phase".

Today it would undoubtedly be classed as the depression that my brother came to realise that it was, in his later life.

Permissive and over protective parenting. I’m in my late thirties and cannot believe how children are treated. My local secondary school has a breakfast club as many parents were unwilling to let them walk by themselves. Tiny catchment area of around 2.5 miles, extremely low crime area, quiet roads with good pedestrian crossings and extremely busy at school opening and closing. I assumed it mostly used by students with learning disabilities, however, my friend who manages it says they are cared for by LD unit. It must so overwhelming for them when they’re eventually let out.

Not sure which schools you know that don’t says no to children!

On the contrary.

Some schools over punish.

Every single little thing is received as a negative. 3 negatives and it's a detention.

That could be something simple like forgetting a pen and pupils living in poverty (which is increasing) can't afford to just replace stuff. Some don't have parents who will.
Teachers have been plugging the gaps in stationary needs for many years of underfunding but they now cannot afford to themselves (and should never have had to) sue to CoL crisis - years if pay freezes and nowhere near inflation rises which won't even be discussed. Hell - they won't even say what school budgets are next year.

So much has changed in society and we haven't caught up in so many ways. People are becoming disenfranchised and I agree with noble it's not just children but equally adults.

Human emotion cannot evolve as quickly as technological advances.

This alongside all the factors i mentioned above.

Research has proven that teens, who used to have the most robust mental health, now have the worst.

Social media is the proven cause.

In no particular order

Stress and pressure in schools
Social media and the internet
Pornification of society
Fragmentation of society
Consumerism
Poverty
Ultra processed food
Micro plastics everywhere
Failing economies
Fucked up environment
Overpopulation
Covid and possible future pandemics
Endless, endless sensory stimulation (let's face it, we weren't made to exist in a bright, noisy world that never switches off)

Makes you wonder how there are any mentally healthy people left really.

There needs to be a huge re balance in this country. Get rid of all the shitty food which is doing no one's body any favours physically and mentally.Give parents the ability to spend more time with their kids instead of working all hours of the bloody day just to keep a roof over their heads. Social media needs better regulation- stop kids constantly scrolling the bollocks that is on ticktock, instrgram and Facebook. It's a waste of time that could be put to something more productive like talking to real people. My kids are young but honestly my daughter is 10 next year and I'm terrified.

Mental health amongst teenagers was a huge issue way before covid.

Totally agree. Parenting has gone downhill, not strict enough snd they’re too afraid to say no to their kids.

The far bigger issue is parents not backing up schools, and I don't mean for minor infringements but for quite major things. Lots of children know they can get away with a fair amount because they recognise the limitations of school punishments and aren't getting in trouble at home for it either. Even the proper rebels when I was at school would fear being sent to the headmaster and their parents being phoned.

Because this generation is absolutely obsessed with labels. When I was in school 20+ years ago people had rough patches and struggles but the way they were expected to deal with them is very different to what we expect today. I also don’t think people realise the feeling depressed and anxious is an entirely normal feeling and is not the same as having anxiety and depression.

On the one hand it’s great that MH issues are talked about and understood more. OTOH O feel the pendulum was swung too far and there is a bit of a snowflake problem going on

There is more pressure to pass GCSEs now than in the past. There just aren't the number of jobs that don't require qualifications that there used to be.
Even vocational qualifications at college have changed to have more emphasis on exams over regular assignments.

The introduction of numbered grades and grade 9s adds to this for higher ability children too. No one needs 9s, they're just extra pressure on perfectionist children.

Everyone has a degree of resilience, until they are overloaded and break.

It isn't just one thing, it's a load building up.

Social media
Being indoors too much
Academic expectation with children pushed in to higher education that are not really suitable for that environment, I worked in HE for 27 years
Parents wanting to be friends with their children, no boundaries
Highly processed food
Lockdown
Parents ignoring their children and being on SM themselves. Saw a toddler being ignored while its parents were scrolling on phones whilst sat on a beautiful marina having lunch.
Drug taking, it’s always existed but seems more socially acceptable. Some serious MH issues can develop due to weed smoking

@dayslikethese1 very true about much less face to face interaction. My DS was in a football team and then cadets. So all good there. He did game, I also game and not anti gaming at all but it was restricted time wise. I have gamed with skim youngsters online who are on all the time and have zero life outside gaming, feeds in to incel culture.

Lockdown certainly.

But also loss of any expectation of having a good job and a home.

There are so many factors we can’t narrow it down to one reason. I work in teenage mental health.

• social media. It’s awful and I think it should be banned for anyone under the age of 18. The doom scrolling of seeing everything perfect and feeling pressure to live their ‘best lives’ constantly.
• normal teenage arguments get heightened because there is no break from it. It gets put on WhatsApp, tik tok, Snapchat, etc. By the next morning it’s huge.
• language we use - it’s normal to feel sad or scared/nervous of things. They are straight away labelled depression, anxiety and children are using language of mental health. I see a huge range of children and yes there are lots with mental health but there is also a lot who are just experiencing normal human emotions.
• parents - we aren’t teaching our children any resilience. Parents are constantly arguing with schools about detentions and saying their child will not do it. Children need boundaries to make them feel safe and some parents aren’t giving them that anymore.
• parents aren’t allowing children to feel bored (I was also guilty of this). All the afternoon clubs, weekend activities, summer clubs, etc. children then don’t understand the feeling of being bored and think it’s something else.
• cost of living - not just about having the latest phone or trainers. The children I talk to who are so worried about money. It’s not the parents fault at all but we need to realise how much it is troubling kids.
• transgender ideology- I will get blasted for this but I don’t care. Teenage years are so complex anyway with out this. Bodies are changing and they feel uncomfortable with this. Again it all ties into resilience and social media. They are being fed that if they feel uncomfortable in their body, they must be the wrong gender.
• add on to this that girls and boys arguing that they want single sex toilets and safe spaces and they are labelled transphobic - again it’s all over social media.
• they are so scared to voice an opinion out of the fashion without being bullied.

I think genetics has a part to play. I was under the care of the mental health services from the age of 13. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 39, and I suspect if this was done when I was a child, I could have avoided a lot of the accompanied mental health problems.
But mental illness is rife in my family. All the way down my maternal grandmother's line and my paternal grandfather's too. My parents, their siblings, the respective grand parents, and their siblings. All have/had mental health illness.
Both of my son's are autistic, and both showed signs of declining mental health during the pandemic when their routine was structured.

Disrupted, not structured.

Agree with social media, bloggers (the majority) its not real life but most importantly it doesn't really hold any depth.

I think there's a fine line between making something a stigma and just casually throwing round the words "anxiety" and mental health.

90s kid here and even from the TV shows we watched they had a lot more depth and things were not instant we had to wait.

Now everything is at a click of a button.

This absolutely. The absolute medicalisation of every emotion and derision and having a go at (as evidenced by this thread) of anyone who dares suggest, 'hold up, a lot of this is normal for teens'.

“@Spottymushroom i really enjoyed reading this insight. I feel like you were able to articulate my thoughts in very clear way. I really understand the boredom comment, that is so true. I know that even myself struggle to feel bored anymore & when I do I feel like I’m in a funk which is just normal feeling! The trans argument with young people is really worrying & the lack of being able to speak up is even more concerning!

Social media/peer pressure
Parents who are too busy with their own lives to parent
Lack of boundaries and consistent routine
Not enough sleep
Poor diet
Not enough exercise
Realising that everyone gets worried/anxious and you don't need a label because of it - it's normal. That's all life is to a degree, worrying about something or other.

I feel very lucky to have raised 3 fairly resilient young adults, but we had a DC with ADHD and therefore routine/structure/consistency was non negotiable. And truthfully there were times when we felt that's all our life was and it was miserable. We had rules about screen times, kids went to bed with books/audio books and no TV/screens after tea. Bedtime routine was uber strict, we went on a long walk everyday with the dog and we ate a very strict diet of no junk food (additives sent them crazy). I feel bloody exhausted coming through the other side of it, but parenting is and should be hard work.

I'm not sure parenting is better or worse than in previous generations. My parents were great but were very, very hands off.

It's not a new phenomenon, I had severe mental health issues as a teen (a very long time ago now) as did a few of my friends but due to the lack of social media it wasn't talked about.

I think the prominence has a lot to do with the use of social media, lockdown, more pressure being put on teens and lack of appropriate funding to deal with mental health etc. but it's not new.