To ask why there are so many kids with mental health problems?

[Newmama29]

I’ve been scrolling through some threads recently & I find people are talking a lot about their kids/teenagers having mental health problems. Why is this so prominent now? I, myself, was only a teenager 10 years ago so I am baffled as to how many people claim their teens have mental health problems. Is it just that we talk about it more or is society causing this?

I think there are many possible factors.

Children are rarely feel some emotions when growing up. For instance the culture of 'everyone's a winner' at sports where winners and loosers are no longer distinguished in fear of creating feelings. It is essential the children feel these emotions to process them.

The way everything delivered to children has to be 'fun and exciting'. In reality life is not like that, there is plenty of mundane and boring that you have to learn to suck up in between the fun.

Social media - there is little time to escape the intrusion of social media, either personally or from those around you. Peace and quiet and undivided attention from friends and family are rare moments these days.

The constant need to see 'likes' and feel 'liked' as a measure of social standing and success. True success is rarely celebrated, the media is littered with 'influencers' who are celebrated for there followers and really little of substance.

Children now grow up in an instant culture where waiting and anticipation are no longer necessary.
There is no need to wait for your weekly TV show. Listen to a full album until you favourite song comes on etc. It's instant gratification now, on demand and when they can't get instant gratification they struggle.

It has been heartbreaking to see the effect the Lockdown had on the development of young people's social skills. A young person I know hardly ever goes out. They don't really have many interests and just seem to have given up (it's not that obvious as they are nice enough to talk to etc, but the giving up is apparent in things like their exam/mock results which are poor even though they are very bright). They don't seem focused at all. I am convinced that they would be very different if the pandemic hadn't occurred. Perhaps deep down they believed that we weren't going to survive - especially given that every day they were seeing reports of the numbers dead. We seem to have forgotten how awful it was and how it has impacted all of us - mental health crises seem to have increased amongst older people too.

Living in a profoundly unequal society which tells you you need to own a house and preferably have a degree to matter. The tendency to treats child's education,be that private school or university, as a parental investment in which a particular kind of return is expected.

Institutionalised sweating of the small stuff. Schools more interested in policing the minutiae of black shoes than in how you are. It encourages anxiety around the inconsequential.

artificial restriction of sensible independence way beyond the age at which the child is competent and then expecting them to suddenly manage. Conversely, celebrating children 'growing out' of childlike interests at extremely young ages. See threads on here with parents proud their 6year old has seen/read all the Harry Potter s and it being normal for 9year olds to no longer be into toys.

Not so much climate change etc itself as the cognitive dissonance around it. Children being told how important it is for them to care for the climate, but shopping, cars and cruises continuing as status symbols of their parents' generation.

Not screens or SM per se, but lack of guidance on them. Parents themselves putting their lives all over SM and in flaps about likes/FOMO/someone being wrong online.

Poverty, and larger gaps between rich and poor than before

Is this true? I don't see workhouses and kids up chimneys anymore

Workhouses were abolished, try checking out foodbanks instead.

In retrospect as a teenager during the noughties I had quite severe anxiety and depression but no one ever noticed and I didn’t have the language to understand it. I actually went to the doctors once by myself aged 15 to ask for anti depressants and she seemed perplexed, quite clearly didn’t believe me and offered me group therapy with a bunch of adults which I obviously didn’t go to.

I honestly believe it’s the result of parents being more plugged in to their kids and higher awareness of mental health issues. Anyone who says teenagers were happy in the past is lying.

@Bewilderedandhurt & hurt has hit the nail on the head. When I was at school, life was tough & feelings were rarely acknowledged or were brushed aside. Now the pendulum has swung too far the other way. In our Primary School for example, children are being frequently asked about their feelings throughout the day. It’s non-stop. “What zone are you in?” “How can we move you to the green zone?” “Pop over to the wall and put your picture in the zone you’re in now & move it back when you’re ready”. The other day, I had a child say to me “I’m worried that I don’t know how I feel? What should I be feeling”. They were utterly bewildered. We’re doing children no favours.

What happens to plants that are kept in a room with no windows for natural light? They don’t exactly flourish do they?

I believe the ‘synthetic’ world many teens today absorb is preventing them from flourishing. Think about it, they live a large amount of time on social media looking at each other through filters, seeing a world online that doesn’t represent the reality around them and witnessing disturbing content on a 24/7 news cycle.

Some consume artificial foods laden with additives and chemicals, many drink energy drinks with stimulants that disrupt their sleep patterns which adversely impacts their moods and well-being. Many teens had disrupted education because of Covid. Vaping addiction is rife, drug experimentation is accepted, some have broken homes or tricky home life.

Terrible parenting caused a lot of mental health issues when my generation were teens in the 90s so it’s safe to assume all of that will still be ongoing on top of the list I’ve just mentioned.

No one can comment about mental health and being negative about it unless they have experienced this with their son / daughter . It is caused by bullying for long periods going unnoticed and grooming and frightening kids about gangs drugs and knives . This is the world we are living in so parents I’m talking from experience be very careful who your lovely son / or daughter has as friends even in year 7 they can destroy your child

@Michellelawlor Sorry to see your post. If you want to talk about things you may want to start your own thread?