To ask why there are so many kids with mental health problems?

[Newmama29]

I’ve been scrolling through some threads recently & I find people are talking a lot about their kids/teenagers having mental health problems. Why is this so prominent now? I, myself, was only a teenager 10 years ago so I am baffled as to how many people claim their teens have mental health problems. Is it just that we talk about it more or is society causing this?

She said let them cry a bit, not cry it out.
There is a difference

There's an increase in mental health problems in adults, too.

I reckon there is less of an increase than we think. There are certainly more adults talking about their mental health, but did these adults really not have any issues before they first spoke? I think a lot of adults with mental health problems were teenagers with poor mental health. We just didn't talk about it. We didn't have the platforms we have now and back when I was a teen anyone with mental health issues would have been seen as an outcast, a failure, the weirdo, the psycho. We didn't tell anyone how we felt.

There are so many different factors, many of which have already been mentioned on this thread.

It won't be a popular opinion, but I think poor parenting can also be a factor in lots of cases. Certainly not all.

@chemistnightmare for what it’s worth, I don’t let my child cry, but I also don’t pander to his temper tantrums. My child feels completely secure with me & we have a great relationship, I was making a generalised statement. I mean schools etc are not allowed to give kids into trouble anymore, that can’t be good for development to never be told “no” or that their “wrong”, adulthood doesn’t work like that.

@widowtwankywashroom

She said let them cry a bit, not cry it out.

There is a difference

Yes, there is.

I never mentioned crying it out.

Your are misguided.

Children do get into trouble at school.

@chemistnightmare I’m sure they do but there is a lot of red tape as well. Teachers, at least the area I am in, are not allowed to use red pen to mark work now as it’s seen as a “negative”, I would call that a bit ridiculous. As a parent, people are always preaching about “gentle parenting” etc & I am a huge advocate for gentle parenting but I also believe there are situations where kids have to be given into trouble & told “no” & have their temper tantrum without mummy trying to calm & negotiate with a 2 year old.

Poverty, and larger gaps between rich and poor than before

Parents having to move away from their own support networks as they can't afford to live near where they are from, or work has taken them away.

Lockdown

Diet

Social media

Put in childcare young, away from family (contentious, I'm sure, but I do believe it).

I think divorce rate and relationship breakdowns are through the roof at the minute too which has an awful effect on kids.

I have been wondering this too. I don't have kids but from talking to colleagues who have teens it seems they don't go out or have friends IRL. Not sure how common that is. Another thing I've noticed is that they aren't expected to have a PT job or do any chores. When I was at school (early 2000s) we all had a Saturday job or say babysitting. I think it helped me build competence as I had to speak to people and be vaguely competent. But perhaps that is not allowed anymore.

When I was I school it was far, far less pressured than what my kids experienced. Loads of schools and parents are really pushy and even if you aren't in a super pushy environment ever kid these days is going to be more aware of what happens if you fail at school etc.

There is more homework and far more exam stress too, Kids are also expected to do more activities but not able to wander around their neighborhoods unsupervised.

I had a lot more freedom and a lot less stress than my kids have had and that's with me doing my upmost to give them a rounded and happy childhood. I was unaware of a lot of the issues that kids are made aware of now.

There was plenty of bullying and sexual abuse in the 'good' old days too. If you think that victims were immune from mental health issues then you would be naïve. It was there but you weren't meant to talk about it.

I don't think social media helps either.

Loads and loads of people with adhd/autism etc were undiagnosed. There was a stigma about it.

Look at which groups are at the highest risk of suicide? Your 'average' person committing subside is a middle aged divorced male builder - no one talks about 'lack of resilience' then.

Yep. I agree. I find some of the responses on Mumsnet mental. Like on a recent thread that a 15-year-old can't be left alone overnight to feed a cat. What?! 😂

More resilience and more fresh air. Those are my personal (very unscientific) views on how to combat teen mental health.

Also, to blame lockdowns and Covid on everything is ridiculous. It's not like teens were asked to go into open combat. Most were glad to stay off school anyway (my teen loved it 😂) and plus they all socialise on the phones. No one stoppe them from doing that.

I’m really interested in the childcare theory if anyone can elaborate? Due to most households requiring 2 incomes, it seems inevitable that kids are having to go into childcare. I put my son into nursery 2 afternoons a week for his own socialising as due to be a lockdown baby I felt he never got that.

This.

@Createausername1970 Then there is weed. Lots of people tell me it's fine, won't hurt etc., But I am not convinced a growing, developing and maturing brain needs it. Unfortunately it's everywhere, it's very common and more kids smoke it than perhaps parents realise.

I agree. Mostly it's fine but it screws up a lot of young people.

I obviously wasn’t diagnosed as a teen, but have since been and it’s quickly became obvious how long the issues had been present

I'm late 40s and I was diagnosed with mental health disorders when I was 13 (still suffering now). Nothing to do with social media, more to do with bullying, finding a family member dead and abuse. There's so many factors that contribute towards children suffering at a young age, hopefully why you're hearing about it more is because parents are teaching their children to vocalise how they're feeling. To squash children's worries, fears or mood is really unhealthy. Hopefully as soon as a parent realises their children are struggling help can be sort after. Yes the mental health system is diabolical (I'm still in it at my age) but it's the very least we can do for them.

I think.social.media and 24 HR news coverage ,whilst vivid and lockdown wss awful.,children in generations gone by have lived through wars ,great depressions etc ,but they didn't have constantly rammed down their throats all.day every day .

Children being in full time childcare from a very early age and having very long days away from their primary carer.

Any evidence for this? I mean I know there isn't but keen to hear why you think this is contributing to the uptick.

I think a plethora of reasons OP, most of which have been touched upon already.

Social media and more widely the Internet, having access 24/7 to world news is suffocating and distressing in many ways especially at an age where perhaps you can't view it in the same way as as an adult.

Covid and lockdown.

More awareness mixed with a lack of earlier intervention.

Change in families/society and the effects of.

I do think somewhere along the line we have lost sight of the fact that everyone's mental health goes up and down day to day even hour to hour and there are a range of 'normal' human reactions to certain things ie feeling anxious before doing something new. Mental illness is of course different, and there's nothing wrong with supporting people struggling with stuff at all but some like labels for things when they're not required.

@Sirzy thank you for your reply. I hope you don’t think I was being rude, I was just trying to differentiate between normal teenage moods/emotions & actual mental health conditions. I’m sorry you have suffered & hope you have the support now.

Covid*

I think it's a mix of factors. We are more aware of mental health issues, and maybe where it would have been ignored before people pay more attention, but also there's an increasing trend in pathologising every less than ideal feeling or behaviour. No one feels anxious any more, they all have anxiety.

I think there's a lot of contributing factors but also it's better recognised now. I was an anxious child but this was never picked up and I didnt know what anxiety was let alone recognise it in myself.

They have studied childcare impact on children for decades - I don't think it's that

We have as a whole changed how children are brought up

• "you can be anything you want"
• independence is delayed as part of risk management
• no punishment, lack of boundaries / this affects schools in particular
• social media

I suspect it's a mixture of everything , it clearly was getting worse before lockdown but it still contributed

I think we as society have not yet figured out when mental health issues start and what is normal.

Mental struggles used to be completely denied, not spoken about, you just had to toughen up and that's it. A few years later awareness increased and you'd be completely horrified at how much previous generations have been dismissed with their issues and werent treated when they should have been.

I think that now many people are trying to do better by recognising someones struggles and support then in getting help. But we have gone from one extreme to another...from doing nothing to taking every small mountain absolutely seriously that needs medical intervention. There is no real middle ground and it's probably going to be the next thing society needs to become aware of: what are the normal ups and downs of life.

Personally I don't believe today's teens have it harder than previous generations. There was no social media, but there were other issues that affected many generations.

Im not completely convinced yet that hormonal changes in teens are just something they need to get on with though. We are just recognising what menopause can do to women and why should we dismiss what's going on for teens, who have absolutely no life experience.