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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset With Neighbour

92 replies

justco · 24/06/2023 20:18

I've changed username for this incase I get recognised in real life.
Earlier this morning my DH was shouting at me as we'd got back from holiday yesterday and he was going to collect the cat from the cattery and was asking how much it was, and started shouting as I didn't remember.

About an hour ago in the garden he was shouting at me about something else, whilst I was indoors. Shouting that I'm selfish, as he can't get to work next week as I've told him be can't borrow my car as I need it and basically shouting I think to get peoples attention and to embarrass me.

Anyway the lady next door likes a drink shall we say and started asking DH if he's ok, probably as he's shouting at me so she thinks I've done something to make him angry. Then he tells her he's ok and she puts her hand through the fence to hold his hand and say it's ok etc.
Then she lets go and is in her own garden and shouted "You C*" at the top of her voice. I'm guessing this is aimed at me.

I just feel so upset about it. Obviously she thinks I'm to blame. She really likes my DH as she's told me before as he's down to earth shall we say and I know she thinks I'm stuck up. I don't think I've given her reason to think I'm stuck up, we are just different people, we are same age and we have children but hers have left home and she lives there alone, whereas I had children later in life so mine are still at home. I work, she doesn't etc so I guess we are just different people.

What to do?

OP posts:
Redebs · 24/06/2023 20:21

Maybe be quieter so she isn't involved in your family life?

TinySaltLick · 24/06/2023 20:22

I think perhaps stop shouting at each other so loudly that the neighbour feels the need to also make a shouting judgement

I'm not sure the neighbour is the issue

Velvian · 24/06/2023 20:23

OP's H was shouting @Redebs .

He shouldn't shout at you at all @justco . Completely unacceptable. Does he shout a lot?

ProudThrilledHappy · 24/06/2023 20:24

Leave him because he sounds like an aggressive bullying prick?

BMW6 · 24/06/2023 20:25

Your DH is an abusive twat. Your neighbour is an alcoholic fool.

I'd leave both of them. They sound made for each other.

Bathintheshed · 24/06/2023 20:25

It's your husband that you should be angry at, he sounds like a massive cunt. Could he be sleeping with the neighbour? I'd be pretty shocked to see my DH holding hands with a neighbour.

3dogsandarabbit · 24/06/2023 20:26

Yes send him round to the neighbour, they can shout at each other then.

Spottypineapple · 24/06/2023 20:27

Ermmm.....the problem here is that you have a DP who shouts at you. This isn't ok or normal OP....

LittleMG · 24/06/2023 20:27

Op this isn’t a neighbour problem it’s your husband, he said a horrible. I would be fuming if my husband slagged me off to the woman next door. She would be a footnote in my tirade at him.

User19844666884 · 24/06/2023 20:29

Having someone shout at you like that isn’t normal. Does it happen a lot? Are you OK?

Begsthequestion · 24/06/2023 20:29

Redebs · 24/06/2023 20:21

Maybe be quieter so she isn't involved in your family life?

Ugh why is the first post so frequently dickish?

Op you're not obliged to put up with being verbally harassed or abused. Honestly your nasty neighbour seems to be the least of your worries.

Is your DH a bully in other ways too?

BreviloquentBastard · 24/06/2023 20:29

Yuck he sounds awful (as does she, weirdo). Fancy standing outside and bawling at you like a bloody scrap hawker.

Does he shout at you a lot OP? Sounds like a horrible way to live for you, loving partners don't regularly shout at and berate their spouses.

Merryoldgoat · 24/06/2023 20:29

This issue is your husband is a prick.

winterchills · 24/06/2023 20:30

Both of them sound vile!!

FuckNuggets · 24/06/2023 20:32

Tell your "D"H he can go round the neighbours and let her pour sympathy over him. Then he can stop shouting and leave you alone. He just sounds like a mantrumming bully.

londonrach · 24/06/2023 20:33

Your poor neighbour putting up with your soon to be ex husband.

justco · 24/06/2023 20:35

He has a really short temper and just seems to fly off the handle at seemingly simple stuff. He's trying to bully me into letting him use the car. I don't care that he can't get to work, he feels it's fine to inconvenience me. Then he won't go to work then will say he can't pay the bills.
I don't want to fall out with the neighbour but want to just ignore her. She has a gangster type family so don't what yo bring trouble to the door by her telling them I'm ignoring her then they will confront me.

OP posts:
Slobberchops1 · 24/06/2023 20:38

You should be worrying about your neighbours. Your husband sounds awful , why are putting up with this? It’s not normal

justco · 24/06/2023 20:54

@Bathintheshed could be. He's always saying to me he thinks she's trouble, but why shout in the garden when he knows she's out there. I think when someone is shouting at someone she will automatically think it's me that's in the wrong as I'm being shouted at.

OP posts:
BeginningToLookALotLike · 24/06/2023 20:56

I think she fancies your DH and he is playing up to it. Sorry OP. You deserve better.

Loulabelle1234 · 24/06/2023 20:58

To be honest I think your husband is the See you next Tuesday!!!

Sesimbra · 24/06/2023 21:03

I’m pretty confused here.

Your DH is a shouty man who bullies you.

But your main concern is what some random neighbour thinks of you???

Are you sure you have your priorities right OP?

Couldyounot · 24/06/2023 21:04

So you're married to a toddler and your neighbour is pickling herself steadily. Not seeing how any of this is your fault tbh

justco · 24/06/2023 21:06

@Sesimbra unfortunately yes. I feel she's siding with him and calling me names. I don't want to see her or face her. I'm angry at him too and told him so. Still sticking to he can't use the car.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 24/06/2023 21:13

She's obviously one of these men focused women....(yeah, I don't understand these people either) ignore her, clench your teeth and try not to tell her to f off