Is anyone satisfied with the amount of maintenance they receive?

[MaxwellCat]

Just wondering as I see so many threads where people are unhappy with the amount of maintenance they get but Is anyone satisfied with the amount ? Or is everyone unhappy with the amount they get? As someone that gets absolutely zero and never has I am often shocked when people are getting hundreds but still think it isn’t enough (I’m talking £500+) I don’t think anyone should be grateful and of course every nrp should be paying for their kids but just wondering if anyone feels satisfied with the amount they get?

I've crossed keyboards with @taxpayer1 on many of these threads. No matter how many factual, objective details a poster gives about how their ex planned and wanted their kids such as the pp above who's ex paid for IVF etc he always tries to argue for a non existant alternative narrative. He cannot bear the idea that there actually ARE single mothers who do actually do all they say, work full time, give the lions share of their salary to support their kids with or without state help and have deadbeat exes. He's an apologist of the highest order.

In the end it's actually irrelevant - even if the child was an accidental pregnancy, even if the resident parent is a millionaire, the NRP should STILL pay and if necessary, use the freedom their NRP status gives them to work longer, more, harder jobs to adequately pay 50% of the child's costs. Not blood, not 50% of their salary, but 50% of costs (minus the % of time they spend with them, which is a pretty minimal 4 days a month in many cases). Back of the envelope figures tells me that I spend at least a third of my income (after mortgage, utlities etc) directly on my two children - so clothes, hobbies, food - teens now so they eat a lot, phone contracts (not expensive, hand me down handsets but still about £40 p/m for both together), laptops for school, allowance, school trips, uniforms and kit. I only receive CB, no other benefit. So lets say its a third, though its probably more, that's 33%. CMS is about 18%. So almost half. The actual FIGURE is irrelevant and leads to race the bottom conversations. If my ex paid 33% of his salary to his kids, it would almost double his contribution to a more comparable amount. We earn about the same so impact of paying that on him would be no different than it is on me.

I used to get £580 per month for 1 dc. This was 10 years ago. I was happy with the amount but unhappy it had to be ordered from his salary by CMS and he didn't want to provide for his DS. It impacted the relationship he had with his teen son who felt his Dad no longer loved him as he didn't want to provide for him. He rarely sees his Dad now, maybe twice a year.

The DLA your ex,s wife receive,s is For HER disabled children its not their money its the CHILDRENS money !

How does child know he had to have the money deducted though?

I’m not male

And wait until the uni year's. Zilch!

My ex, more than happy, for my DP support me with my DC’s costs, flat deposits, drive them to and from, food during the drop off weekends, etc.
DC’s worked too, good for them in their independence.

Then ExDH demands tickets for the graduation, family photos....

Mum told him, probably told him his Dad was a deadbeat who didn’t live him & refused to provide for him

For my ds I get 14.00 a month and covers nothing really but to be honest he never has in all these years so these payments have just started. My dd dad pays 160.00 a month and he complains about it, I never have. As it does help to contribute to her costs of buying new clothes, shoes and nursery etc. one month it paid for her new bed which I’m glad I can afford(used to be 200.00). The only time I’ve complained about it is when he has been abusive over it. Both children’s dads have nothing to do so are never mentioned and my son sees his money as extra pocket money for a game or towards a Lego set etc. both through the csa but dd dad pays into the bank and im actually glad he is reliable and pays every month on the same day, less chew as I know it will always be there on that day so I can budget for the things she needs. My sons dads is through the csa and is deducted so unreliable. I feel sorry for those who get nothing as even that little bit helps to budget

I receive £0.00 for 4 children.

I have to provide an over night bag with clothes etc if they stay over with him.
Has them only occasionally and never all at once.

I have to provide clothes etc for his holiday he’s taking them on.

If he buys some food etc, he asks for the money back.

Absolute waste of space.

But its your adults child,s choice to.go.to.uni ,why would you get maintenance for an adult ?
My sisters son is at uni he survivor off loans and part time work like most students
My sister sends him. ten pound a week for food and his Dad sends him 15 (they are divorced )

@x2boys but realistically most 18yo uni students do get help from their parents and stay in their home for the 22 weeks a year they're not in term time. Why should that fall solely to one of the two parents? Worse, when the RP has remarried, the step parents income is counted when the student is assessed for any grants etc, so they are expected to contribute but the nrp is not.

They are adults and as such should work part time its their choice to go to.uni.

I think by the time it’s supporting a child through university, it’s about the obvious fact (to that young adult child) that only one parent is doing the supporting. Maybe it’s a good thing that they realise their father doesn’t contribute at that point.

The concept of child maintenance is a bit of a red herring there.

I'm happy with the amount I receive. My ex is a good dad (gone a bit downhill since moving in with his partner and 3 kids) and has always been reliable and had our son regularly. He's a high earner and pays £360 a month.
If he had him one night LESS a YEAR I'd get an extra 100 a month, a little frustrating because on his nights he has him, our son stays with me until almost bedtime as ex works. So I do feel like Im providing childcare for him (and I can't work those days), so he can maintain a high paid full time job, to pay for someone else's kids. Overall though, I'm happy.

Because literally nothing stops a university student’s father from saying ‘I’ll give you £X to help you with university’.

It doesn’t matter what the student finance calculation says.

He read the court documents when I was put one day.

I don't think @Makemyday99 is a male. I think it's a female poster whose view of the male sex is so low that she thinks they can't and shouldn't ever be relied on for anything in advance decision-making situations (ie, can I afford to have children knowing that I will probably have to raise them alone because their father by virtue of being a man can't be relied on?). Because no matter how they present beforehand, their true dastardly nature is likely to out eventually.

That's my cheery reading of her position anyway.

As I said, DC worked. All DC’s tried their best and work damned hard - job and studies.

Their partime work really doesn't cover all expenses though. If we drive to DC’s to pick them up, especially start and end if term, with all of their stuff and return them (600 mile round trip, usually because of distance requiring a stay) - do we ‘charge’ our DC for this?

Did we except DC to kit out the uni accommodation and pay for it ( bedding, pans, towels, first food shop...) - no we supported DC’s.

When we visit (DF never does) do we expect DC’s to pay for their own meal out?

When they moved to a flat, did we except they would kit this out? Raise money for the first months rent in advance? the deposit?

Do we charge them rent when they return to live with us?

Students require support. I have provided this, with my partner. ExH hasn't. His choice, but don't swan in for the graduation ceremony, taking the ticket away from my DP was has given all of the support above.

@LacieLane difficult one. But I'm sure your adult children will decide who should get the ticket? I assume the dad thinks because he contributed whilst growing up that's ok and I'm sure your DP doesn't do it to be chosen over kids dad for family events

I get £7 a week from my joke of an ex.

I would be if it was paid on time. I get the amount from CMS calculator but every 7/8 weeks so over the year it works out a lot less. I can't rely on it to have to use for the everyday things. I just treat it as a bonus, when it comes in I tell DC daddy sent you some money, what treat would you like with it? That way they know dads thought about them even if he hasn't made contact.

Please make sure that sometimes the treats are from you.

My grandparents rarely got money from my father but they did similarly. It took me a long time as a teen to click that my “they never do anything treat-y and while Dad has fucked off now at least he pays for the cinema/bowling/meals out etc” was actually completely wrong. They paid for those trips really as his contribution should have been for food/heating etc freeing their money for nice things.

I’ve just name searched @taxpayer1 posts on other threads. What an absolutely lovely person you are!👍

I was satisfied with the maintenance ExDH agreed which at the time was £400pcm and covered the mortgage
it lasted less than 6 months before he decided to drop it to £250
A year later he gave up working to become a student and reduced it to £50
I spent years arguing once he went back to work to get it increased to £250 and it stayed at that for 10 years as he always threatened to stop paying at all if I rocked the boat
By then DC were 17/18 and I gave up asking
They are now adults and don’t have much time for him - whereas we are very close

I get £300 per month for 2 children and I'm satisfied. I know what his income and lifestyle is like so I feel it's fair. I also imagine that once they're 18 he will continue to support them but it will go directly to them rather than through me.

He and I don't have a great co-parenting relationship but financially I can't complain!