Woken up being kicked repeatedly, partner says I was snoring

[Winniethepig]

This really, partner woke me by kicking me repeatedly and after I woke and I asked why he said I wad snoring.

He snores literally all the time, I have never once kicked him.

I'm now up stewing on it and feeling angry about being kicked repeatedly like that.

AIBU? I know snoring can be horrible but I have a cold at the moment and don't usually (I don't think, at least not to the extent of being kicked).

I could understand him kicking once in annoyance and maybe meaning to nudge with his leg but you were closer than he thought. But repeatedly kicking is awful. I would talk to him today and explain how you feel . If he is apologetic then I'd let it go if he kicks off I'd question if I want to be with a man who thinks this behaviour is acceptable

This is me and my DH! I snore more than him (allergies), but after a drink my goodness his snoring shakes the rafters. I'm always kicking him. He once rolled me over not realising how close I was to the edge of the bed and I ended up on the floor! We wet ourselves laughing about it 😂 surprised by how many pp consider it abusive tbh

Hahahahaha
but it's not cruel to keep the non snorer awake and they don't need sleep???

I elbow DH when he snores. Good to know I am an abuser 🙄

He snores literally all the time, I have never once kicked him.

This part of the OP is important. People seem to have seen snoring and decided the OP must be in the wrong.

But her husband snores all the time. She isn’t awful to him. She’s got a cold and has, unusually, snored. He’s acted like a dick about it.

That’s crap behaviour from him.

It seems, from this thread, is that you should repeatedly kick him every time he snores from now on. And see how he likes it.

Blimey, kicking you is a bit extreme! DH snores frequently and loudly. I close his mouth gently, which normally results in him turning onto his side which stops the snoring. If it doesn’t, I will wake him and ask him to realise that he’s keeping me awake (particularly if I’m going into work the next day- he is retired) and he will take a drink of water and lie on his side.

I wouldn’t dream of abusing him because of something he has little control over while he is unconscious…

I wouldn’t dream of abusing him because of something he has little control over while he is unconscious…

Exactly . Physical abuse.is physical abuse. It doesn't matter that it's night time /they are annoying you. It's still physical abuse.

If DH snores I either sleep on the sofa or use ear plugs

I put pillow over mines head once. He was suspicious of me for a day after even though I pointed out I didn not hold the pillow down😂 Was tempted though.
Interestingly, the snoring stopped when we moved out of city to less polluted place.

My husband sometimes snores. At most I wake him up and tell him or I go to sleep in the spare bedroom. I would never kick him or elbow him. That is plain nasty and abusive.

i just cough really loudly in his ear and that makes him turn over. Then I build a pillow wall so he can’t roll back.

Not sure if anyone is still reading this but our guest room is clear and I have been in there two nights running. Best nights sleep I have had in months. DH thinks its a slow decline of our relationship but I don't see how. We have a one year old and a 3 year old so its not like our sex life is hot and heavy.

Sounds amazing and glad you are getting some good sleep.

Is there anything he can do about his snoring so you think?

Thinking of holidays etc when it’s more likely you’ll share a bed.

Mine doesn’t sleep on his back anymore - well we both don’t as that’s when we become snoring offenders. I’m trying to lose weight to help as I put on quite a bit during covid and peri menopause

We were far nicer to live with once we both slept better!

I would recommend going to bed together for an hour or so before whoever decamps to the spare room.

Well done, it is a great idea and just needs courage to make the first step - the association with marriage decline is false. Sleep must be prioritised!!

A gentle squeeze or wiggle of the shoulder would be much kinder.

Good for you

Good for you OP.
Thread where lots of us say it has actually saved our marriages: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4860524-space-of-my-ownseparate-rooms?page=2&reply=128136173

Which my sleeping log of a DH would not have felt or responded to.

Hence separate rooms. Bliss!

Have you suggested that perhaps not kicking somebody repeatedly for a rare, cold related snoring, wearing earplugs so he's untroubled by nocturnal parenting and moaning about lack of sex when his DW decides to try and get some sleep in between wakings might be in some way contributory?

If my DH tickled my foot, I'd be doing the kicking!

How do you know he hasn't given you a simple shake?

Tell him if he didn't choose to kick his own wife then you wouldn't have moved out.

Good for you op... if you do sleep together again and he snored I'd be doing exactly the same to him

Yes it does, a quick Google confirms this.