Woken up being kicked repeatedly, partner says I was snoring

[Winniethepig]

This really, partner woke me by kicking me repeatedly and after I woke and I asked why he said I wad snoring.

He snores literally all the time, I have never once kicked him.

I'm now up stewing on it and feeling angry about being kicked repeatedly like that.

AIBU? I know snoring can be horrible but I have a cold at the moment and don't usually (I don't think, at least not to the extent of being kicked).

Separate rooms, but before you leave kick him back.

Meh I have kicked DH a few times in the past (not enough to hurt) out of desperation . Mind you that was after gently nudging him and poking him and him snoring louder and louder and louder and it got to 3am and he would still be snoring. Something about someone keeping you up in the middle of the night that can drive you insane.

Waking someone up because they are snoring is cruel. People snore. They still need sleep.

id be furious if my DH kicked me because I was snoring. Neither of us has ever disturbed the other just because the person was having a particularly snore-filled night.

Remember this is MN, where you gently shake a freight train snorer (although you have murder intentions because you only get 2 hours sleep because of them), people invite bullies to parties because it’s unfair to exclude them and children get an apple and a wooden toy for Christmas.

My DH refuses to believe he snores, so he gets a good boot and a sharp elbow. I will no doubt be accused of abuse though.

We sleep in separate rooms now. It was getting to the point we would have physical fights in bed and hate each other the next day. I once hit him in the back and was appear myself but the snoring was unbearable. We got married 2 years after we started sleeping in different rooms!

That should say appalled with myself

If me or the chap snore we just give the other a little tap on the nose or a little nudge that gets our still asleep partner out of the snoring pattern enough and makes us change position enough that the snoring stops.

id never dream of kicking my partner. A nudge with my elbow or bum as if I’m wriggling in my sleep but not something that would purposely hurt or awaken them.

if snoring was bad and continously a problem I’d look at more long term solutions for either of us. Weight loss, medical checks, sleep/snoring aids etc etc.

This is nuts, woman says her partner kicked her to let her know she was snoring and it woke him up.

Calls to LTB saying he's abusive

A couple of women have said that they've kicked their DH for the same reason...

What earplugs did you get?

Unbelievable, truly

"Waking someone up because they are snoring is cruel. People snore. They still need sleep."

This is batshit crazy. Waking a snorer is CRUEL?! 😂

Whats cruel is being a long term snorer and doing fuck all about it leaving your partner long term sleep deprived.

A gentle prod to wake a snorer enough to get them to roll over is a kindness that can be hard to muster yet we do.

Yes loads of times.

Those of you who snore badly - what have you done to deal with the problem?

DH used to snore really badly, to the point that I moved into the spare room. He went on to develop severe obstructive sleep apnoea and now uses a CPAP machine.

I am back in our bedroom now.

Exactly this. I adore my DH with every fibre of my being, but when he's snoring yes sadly i get "stabby"
Thanks for that description. it's sadly perfect

@namechange55465 he does help with the toddler most of the time but I usually do the baby

Waking someone up because they are snoring is cruel. People snore. They still need sleep.

We have entered the fairytale portion of the evening I see 🤣

Me and Dh have slept in the same bed for 30 years, I have always snored- even when I was early 20's. He nearly always goes to bed an hour before me, Once he is in a deep sleep he doesn't notice it. He started snoring about 10 yrs ago- I wear those flexible ear plugs now - have white noise all night and we manage, Yes I do kick his shins sometimes to turn over- it is really gentle- all this talk of 'abusing and kicking' your partner is way over the top. I've had one occasion where I had a hotel bed (king size) all to myself and it was fab!

Yes! And sleep deprivation is torture. My DH sometimes snores. He gets a gentle poke or nudge to get him to turn over. Sometimes he doesn't even wake up with it. Why is it okay for me to lie awake all night but not him have a small disturbance? He actually prefers if if I do stir him, because he's not getting good quality sleep while he's snoring, so it helps if I stop him.

If being made to turn over wasn't acceptable to him, it would be separate rooms. There's been times that I've thought it might well come to that, but we seem to have worked it out.

my ex husband was a terrible snorer, but in the end the only way I found to stop ho=im was a vicious dig in the ribs with my elbow - to the extent that he woke up (and thus stopped snoring) whereas I keot my eyes closed so he thought I was still asleep. I know it sounds bad, and my ex did end up with bruised ribs because of it, but it hinestly was the only way to stop him snoring !
Eventually though I had to admit that the bruised ribs were caused by me - the end result was searate bedrooms where i was able to sleep in peace without lying next to a snoring bubdle of bedding again.

@Winniethepig
" Kicking was a bit harsh." Can you think of any acceptable reason for kicking someone while they are sleeping?

Do you think that someone will come up with a good or acceptable reason?

Why are you still with him? How are you justifying your decision to remain with him? I guess you have just decided that you can handle being kicked while you are asleep?

What level of physical abuse would you not tolerate?

Snoring is a medical issue and needs a doctor

Separate bedrooms. It’s bliss sleeping peacefully. The only reason we think it’s normal to sleep in the same bed is because of limited space, finances etc. If you have a spare room, use it. As for the kicking, if my husband did that I’d kick him right out the door.

When my partner snores, I gently rub their shoulder or arm and they automatically turn over and it stops (for a while). I have never, ever kicked or hit someone for snoring, it's totally unnecessary.

Well, now you know that he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to kick someone when they're snoring, it's clear what you should do to him next time he snores.

@MrsJellycat erm yes the menopause can cause snoring or cause existing snoring to worsen. Oestrogen maintains the muscle tone of your airways so when it drops off, you can snore / snore more. Why not look stuff up before you comment eh?

Aounda like people are imagining he kicked op like a football ball...
Sounda like atrknger nudge by leg instead kf hand.
Anoring is terrible.
You ahould alternate earplugs so one gets sleep and one can hear the baby.
Yy to separate bedrooms tho!

Depends, I’ve nudged DH before he’s not stopped, so I’ve built up the pressure 🙈🤣 not a violent kick, but a good strong nudge for sure! He needs to move on to his side, so my feet have enabled that.

DD grinds her teeth, I’ve gently turned her or stroked her arm or leg. DDog gets the same when he’s snoring, just smooth him til he wakes. DH gets the most pokes for sure!