Woken up being kicked repeatedly, partner says I was snoring

[Winniethepig]

This really, partner woke me by kicking me repeatedly and after I woke and I asked why he said I wad snoring.

He snores literally all the time, I have never once kicked him.

I'm now up stewing on it and feeling angry about being kicked repeatedly like that.

AIBU? I know snoring can be horrible but I have a cold at the moment and don't usually (I don't think, at least not to the extent of being kicked).

@MrsJellycat apparently this is not true! I snored before the menopause but I've googled it and the lower progesterone (plus my guess is collagen/muscle loss in throat) means that far more older women snore and have obstructive sleep apnoea. That's without getting into the weight issues. Every day's a school day!

An actual kick, or a hard nudge with a foot to get you to move?

It is horrendous being kept awake by a snorer.

I’ve done it while half asleep, not hard though. Was he even fully conscious?

Missing the point but I tried ear plugs and just found they made me hear a fuzzy echo and be much more aware of my own breathing. I hated it as much as dh’s snoring. My dc are used to walking up to me being in their rooms depending on where they’re sleeping. Dd2 has a bunk bed so I go in the empty bed or dd3 has a kingsize so if dd2 chooses to be in her bottom bunk I go in dd3’s bed. Not sure how long I can do that for but snoring makes me want to kill. It’s like someone mocking you for not being asleep.

I’d just ask him if he’s fine with you kicking him awake every single time he snores. And then do it and see how he likes it.

Given you have a cold I think it’s dreadful behaviour from your partner. I’ve been married almost 20 years and we have both snored from time to time without resorting to hitting or kicking.

Wtf? He kicked you repeatedly. Which is assault.

End the relationship.

Kicking, not hard, I'd describe it like how a toddler repeatedly throws their legs around. Can't tell exactly but it was at least 5-6 times

Before I got the CPAP machine being kicked, elbowed, shaken in my sleep was a regular occurrence. I completely understand it. When you're tired, half asleep and something is bothering you, then you will just act without thinking.

Was conscious because I asked him why and he used a full sentence to explain my snoringz

How hard were the kicks? As in was it a nudge with his foot or a full on kick?

I snore, badly. It wakes up DH, both DC and the cat. DH also snores, less frequently but pretty loud. We both try to roll the other over, if that doesn't work a nudge or shake on the arm and if that doesn't work then we have given a light kick to wake up or disturb enough that the snorer repositions. The 3yo does just hit me and tell me off 'mummy your sleeping is too loud!'.

If it's a problem for you, and that's absolutely reasonable to have boundaries, then you need to speak to him. Tell him you don't want to be kicked and it made you uncomfortable, tell him how you'd prefer to be woken if snoring is bothering him.
Like so many MN 'problems' just talking to the offender is the first step.

Definitely separate rooms!! My oh snores so bad, I used to be so angry in the morning because I was exhausted from lack of sleep, it used to cause so many arguments. I don't agree with him kicking you, but a nudge yes. If it was that annoying he could have gone and slept downstairs.

Do you think it’s ok he kicked you?

Nudged with foot or actual kick? I kick (nudge) dh repeatedly if he's snoring because it is absolutely unbearable and we get so little sleep with dc I need him to shut up. Eventually he rolls and stops.

I can hear my partner from upstairs snoring it's ridiculous.

I'm almost certain I've read this before 😵‍💫

Well if your snoring disturbs him he can listen out for the baby & toddler whilst you wear ear plus

Ok first things first… Don’t be me and live with a snorer! CPAP machines save sanity.

Second thing Yeah OP I think it’s a pretty understood thing that snorers are open to be kicked, nudged, elbowed, rolled over, shaken, sworn at, death plotted, and otherwise maligned. There’s pretty much nothing else to do while waiting for the lord to strike the non-snorer deaf or dead (either of which would be welcomed).

Yes the above was was said with a high dose of hyperbole. Unless there’s a massive drip feed coming let it go and take a decongestant tonight before bed.

The best earplugs - without any competition - are the silicone ones, you get a few pairs in a pack and can reuse them for a while. They are squishy blobs you push into the ear canal and they block almost all sound completely. Nothing compares - once you have tried them you will never use any other product

I kick DH when he snores. Not hard enough to hurt and he knows I will do this because as well as keeping me awake, he ends up with a sore throat. I usually start by just telling him he's snoring, though.

Seen someone's already said it but second yes to loop quiet ear plugs, my fiancée doesn't snore he roars bless him lol. They have been a win win.

I’ve kicked DH when he’s snored. I think it’s a reach to call it abusive (although judging by this thread he should clearly leave me because of it).

Nothing more frustrating than when you’ve been kept awake by a snorer who is peacefully sleeping next to you.

Also, why is shaking ok but not kicking - either way you’re being physically and somewhat aggressively woken up.

And no to earplugs for me. I'm surprised you can't her my tinnitus from here.

I wouldn't even want to sleep next door to the sort of man who would kick you in your sleep.

DH went to bed less than 10 minutes ago I can hear his snoring over the TV from 2 bedrooms away 😭

I try not to kick or push but sometimes my husband snores so loudly he won't wake up otherwise. It's exhausting and annoying. From what you said it wasn't hard kicking. You're lucky you have a spare room to go into soon.