To wonder how to get school parents to volunteer to do anything?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I’m a somewhat reluctant volunteer for the school PTA - only reluctant because I have a full-on job (12hr+ days most of this week) another volunteer role and am frankly frazzled.

Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen. But they think the magic fairies make it happen?

Some schools seem to have an abundance of volunteers making elaborate fairs happen. All I’m asking is for someone to man the bat the rat stall for half an hour and I can’t even get that.

What am i doing wrong here?

What a stupid comment, by someone who must be very privileged to not have to work in jobs with limited time off in order to pay basic bills. Rather disappointing.

RedToothBrush
You're not wrong on the principle, and there's probably a lot of people who fall into that category, but there's also probably a lot of people who may not have time to volunteer for this specific thing but are already involved in the community in other ways.

I'd be reluctant to take on more voluntary commitments because I'm happy with the ones I have. Unsurprisingly the ones I'm happy with are the ones where all the parents share the load and will step in to help out if someone can't make it one week.

People are starting to post their busy schedules as proof that they can't do PTA volunteering but I think that is the wrong way to think about this. We don't need to justify what we do with our time - we are not the ones asking anyone for anything. If the PTA people want our help they should be attempting to justify why we should give up our free time.

You may not be asking for anything but you are gaining something if your kids benefit

They’re not doing it for the their gain, but the school’s.

Is there fundraising as a result that benefits your school and dc?

No, there's no net benefit, because all the money that is raised comes from the parents anyway through providing donations and then buying whatever is on offer at the cake sale or whatever. The only way we could be benefiting would be if we actually enjoyed attending those events and eating the cake but I really don't.

Our school get loads of funds for new playgrounds etc l. What kind of things does your school get as a result and would you prefer none of it happened?

Really? No external donations at all? No wider family members come along and spend money that they wouldn't have otherwise donated? No 'matched funding' from some people's employers? No donations from things like the old Waitrose green tokens scheme? That doesn't sound very efficient (if true).

Definitely this.

I have hardly ever volunteered for anything without having been approached and asked to do it. But usually I am perfectly willing to do some small bit of volunteering such as the OP describes. I'd just rather not, if I think someone else will step up! And if I can't, at least the OP will know why, because I can say straightaway "Sorry, my 2yo is too much of a handful for me to do anything on the day - is there something I can prepare ahead of time instead?" or "No, sorry, I never go to school fairs"

In my hobby club it has been the same - it's very very rare for anyone to come forward in response to a general plea of "who would be willing to act as treasurer next year?" but if you ask individually, you generally only need to ask a few people before you get a yes. We do still always start off with the general request because you never know, maybe somebody is dying to get involved 😆 and we'd hate to exclude them!

Free Pimm's or a soft drink for the volunteers sounds like a great idea.

My school had an excellent idea for a PTA event where they put kids in one room watching a film, and adults in another room with a bar. Tickets were sold per child for the film and popcorn, but they made the most on the bar. Parents loved it.

It's a shame as I got so much out of helping with school events and made so many friends (parents from other years as well as staff) - it really enhanced our time at the primary school. I get that it's hard to man a stall with tiny children but once your kids are in juniors they absolutely LOVE having the freedom of the fete for the afternoon; I would give them a bit of money and they had such fun and felt so grownup going round with their friends, and there were plenty of people there to keep an eye on them if they needed help.

I think where people get annoyed by the “I’m too busy” line is when people are at the school fair working on a stall and the “I’m too busy” people are there - at the fair. If you have time to attend the fair - you have time to help for half an hour (get your kids to help with you if you don’t want to leave them unwatched).
Why lie that you are “too busy” ?
If you don’t want to do it just say no. Don’t make up an excuse.

This 100%

As I found our Saturday

Those who said couldn't make the fair /busy/had kids etx

Made the fair to browse the stalls but not to 'man' the stall

I found we got more volunteers when people knew there were discrete tasks and timing. Like they could just do half an hour on the stall and not the whole event.

So I would break it down more - we always had classes responsible for different stalls and class reps would sort out rotas. Some parents had their own business and would be happy to take a commercial stall.

I live in Germany so improvements to the infrastructure are paid for by school funding which comes from general taxation. But even if our PTA was raising money for essentials, I don't see why I shouldn't be able to donate some money instead of time. I have tried and was met with a flat refusal on one occasion, and on the other a frosty acceptance with a comment that it's more usual to donate in kind to allow people of all incomes to participate.

I don’t know other peoples reasons for not helping out at PTA events, but my reasons for not helping at my child’s PTA are…
*I went along to a PTA meeting once and it was horrible. 2.5 hrs long. Lots of meaningless lengthy conversations about things that could be sorted simply (eg what cups shall we use for the juice). All felt like too much hard work.
*when I’ve offered suggestions and offers of help the people who have done it for years respond “well we’ve always done to like” and/or want to unnecessarily micro manage the minuscule job you offered to take on, so much so they may as well have done it themselves.
*I’m not actually bothered by many of the event they run. Some seem worthwhile (kids live discos) but others seem like a lot of hard work for not much gain. However I am not someone who would complain they didn’t happen.

I do feel for people who take on PTA roles. It’s a lot of hard work, and op is right that there will always be some parents that complain. I don’t know how people do it alongside working full-time, all the active PTA parents that do most of the organising at our school are people who don’t work and have kids all at school so they have time to dedicate to it.

Op do you not have a PTA group or regular meetings to assign jobs to people?

We're in Germany so there's no Waitrose vouchers, there are some donations of e.g. bike racks from the local bank but they gave them to every school and kindergarten in the area.
Look I know what you are getting at: people who don't contribute to the PTA effort already happy enough to reap the rewards. But I'm really not! I'm embarrassed and resentful that things are being paid for on my children's behalf. And it's not even that bad for me, I don't really care if people think I'm lazy or snobby for not wanting to muck in, but if you're short of cash it's even worse because maybe you don't want to be beholden to other people for things that have been paid for on your child's behalf whether you wanted them or not.

I'd much rather donate if extra funding is needed, than volunteer. I work full time so volunteering would mean taking time off from work.

My annual leave already goes almost entirely on covering school holidays and the kids being ill or hospital appointments. So to volunteer I would have to take unpaid leave, arranged in advance through HR. I imagine many others will be in the same boat.

I do wonder if generally we need to be more explicit in terms of volunteering.
Years ago my mum worked in a committee run play school. It was cheap but needed parents to volunteer on a rota and for committee roles. It worked as people understood that it was £5 a session and some volunteering v private nursery at £20 a session.
We are definitely finding in Brownies that the concept of it’s cheap as it’s volunteer run is going over heads of some parents. Wondering if we should be more explicit so yes it’s £3 a week but we do need volunteer help (in the sessions/or admin/accounts or on trips etc) Then parents explicitly know the score and if they don’t have time can opt for a commercially run activity club at £7 a session.
So with a school be clear the govt is funding basic education but these extras have all come from fundraising and we will need volunteers for x this year or cash donations.

I used to volunteer for stuff with the PTA. I don't anymore.

I used to attend meetings when I could. Don't bother with that either.

The reason being is the 'main' ones in the PTA walk around with a holier than thou attitude. Being overly nice and polite to everyone and then bitching about people behind their backs. I soon cottoned and and so thats not for me, I'm out.

All of these women think they are the absolute best and on one else gives as much as them to anything, and they give off this vibe that lets people know that. Including to others who are new to volunteering and would quite well ahve continued had they not been made to feel quite so inadequate at their first volunteering session. So most people now just can't be arsed with them. A few parents who used to volunteer don't for this reason.

Plus on more than one occasion you'd volunteer for something and you'd end up doing something else (much more shit) or they'd railroad you into staying longer than you agreed to, guilt trip you when you can't and it just becomes a pain in the arse. Many parents have realised its just easier to say no.

I know summer fairs and whatnot are nice for the DC, but honestly I wouldn't care less if they didn't happen. And if they do, fine - those who are 'better than everyone else' can now sort it out, those on the PTA who have managed to whole heartedly make every other parent feel like shit, even when they've been volunteering ffs.

Its a shame, I'd be involved way more if it was inclusive and not some group who think they run the world and everyone else is their minions.

Maybe others in the PTA at your school come across a bit like that op? not saying you are, but you can guarantee nearly all the women on our PTA have no clue they come across like this. They all think they are the best parents there (and unfortunately more often than not put peoples noses out of joint because of it). All fake smiles and ' soooo good to see you's.....' and then moaning because Barbara who volunteered at the school disco was too slow puring drinks, and 'oh my god, did you see her trying to fill the urn'.

Yes ideally wanted 10people to cover 30mins each

Didn't happen

My experience exactly. I feel bad sometimes as I know some of the money goes to help fund trips and things for those on lower incomes. But it really started affecting my mental health. I felt bullied.

People shouldn't have to outline their schedules on here for some self righteous pigs. Keep your boundaries.

I ran our PTA for years and didn’t mind people not volunteering at all. I found that you never know people’s personal circumstances - it might not just be the lack of time, it might be illness, mental or physical that’s not visible where any extra commitment might just be too much. I’ve known parents who were shy or agoraphobic (who sometimes helped with admin but couldn’t run a stall). There are lots of reasons people might not want to volunteer so better not to assume anything.

But what I do hate is the people who never volunteer but then moan about how our PTA doesn’t do as much as other schools or the summer fair wasn’t good enough etc. If you’re not prepared to help, for whatever reason, then keep your opinions to yourself!!

If there’s going to be a school fair, you’re lucky if I can drag myself and kids there on time with plenty of change for the kids to use and I’ve washed my hair.

I’ve got my own shit going on, I’m frazzled too. I’m not manning bat the ducking rat for anyone.