To wonder how to get school parents to volunteer to do anything?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I’m a somewhat reluctant volunteer for the school PTA - only reluctant because I have a full-on job (12hr+ days most of this week) another volunteer role and am frankly frazzled.

Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen. But they think the magic fairies make it happen?

Some schools seem to have an abundance of volunteers making elaborate fairs happen. All I’m asking is for someone to man the bat the rat stall for half an hour and I can’t even get that.

What am i doing wrong here?

Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen.

Are you sure that “everyone” wants it to happen and will complain if it doesn’t? I see this all the time at school. Eg - three or four parents think there should be a yearbook and take it upon themselves to do it. And pester everyone else about doing it and complain that “they’ve done all the work”. When many people (myself included) don’t actually want a yearbook, so don’t really want the hassle of the endless contributions as the thing won’t ever get looked at (I think it’s daft and the kids find it cringey). Maybe some people just aren’t interested in the fair?

I'm a teacher and we can't get parents into school for hardly anything. Phonics, reading or maths evenings.

Id help with phonics/reading etc I want to do this in my own child's class but schools are so determined to be closed shop, avoid as much scrutiny/accountability as possible and ensure parents have zero way to gauge their child's actual attainment relative to peers that they often insist you don't hear readers in your own child's class. So no one will do it (including me) and school moan. Meanwhile my dsis kids school allow parents into own child's class and have plenty of volunteers.

1 hour slots.

Our pta usually send it a super positive letter saying all the money raised last term/year and, crucially, what difference it made, what it was spent on etc.
Then they send a letter listing all the stuff they intend to do, so you can look ahead a long way and see if you're free.
They give a deadline for volunteers so everyone knows of they haven't got enough by X day out doesn't happen.
They also make it super clear that everyone is friendly, you'll be welcome, if you volunteer once you won't be targeted for more arm twisting next time etc etc.
We do get lots of people chipping in here and there so no one is carrying too much of the load, but... I wonder how much of that is the area etc the school is small, friendly and not in s deprived area so a reasonable number of parents are not over stretched.

The chair at my running club complains that no one will do anything.

For the last two events we've put on, one of the members has appointed himself as "volunteer co ordinator" and had all the roles filled with in hours, just by asking and explaining the roles fully.

I think generic requests for "help" make people think either you're talking to someone else or worry exactly what will be required.

The disparity of effort at different schools is mad. At DDs first primary school most parents worked ft but most still volunteered (Mums and Dads) and did some brilliant events. When we moved area it seemed that Dads were not so involved and most of the Mums seemed to work PT or not all, yet no-one could be bothered to help out. I think the lack of alcohol at school 2’s events didn’t help

Have a meeting and don't let anyone leave without a job...if you can get them through the door to begin with.

I did PTA stuff with primary. Terrifying experience, full of bossy cliques who gossiped about everything and everyone.

PTA in secondary tried to rope me in when I'd previously said no and never turned up to any meeting. it so happened that all PTA of the secondary left the same year. I was told by one mum that if I didn't step up and take over, the PTA would die, and it would be my fault.

I didn't take over, and it died out. Not my problem. I'm a busy working mum with precious little time on my hands.

I'm so glad those days are over. They were awful. That's possibly a reason why parents won't cross the gates for a PTA.

Good luck.

Op if people are complaining then your reply needs to be that no one is volunteering. That should shut them up. At our school, everyone volunteers. It's known who does and who doesn't so nobody wants to be known as not contributing. People actually take annual leave, book a babysitter to do their fair share.

I’ve even taken it down to half hour slots.

Are you well known at the school? Do you have relationships with the people you're asking? People are always more likely to help a friend. I hate it, but networking is really important in these things.

I hear a lot of moaning about “[nearby school] had X, Y, Z at their fair last year” “why no Christmas fair this year?” and so it goes on
My response to that would be something like:
"did they now? That sounds lovely. They must have a large team of parent volunteers to make it happen."
"It sounds great. Shall I put you down to coordinate one for our children's school?"
"it was disappointing not to have a Christmas fair, but sadly too many parent expect it to go ahead on fairy dust. You wouldn't believe how many people make demands but are nowhere to be seen when it comes to helping"

It's a bit passive aggressive but better than "maybe you should stop whining and get helping then love".

My experience is that the more specific and limited you can be the better.

Not 'can you help'

Can you spare an hour on X date between Y times to do XYZ or ABC?

And accept that sometimes you cancel if there aren't enough volunteers, explain an event is cancelled due to lack of volunteers

This is my absolute least favourite thing about having children at school, the constant moans and nagging to volunteer my time for the PTA and events. I have an almost full time job and another small child. I have hobbies and a house to renovate. I do not have time or energy to spend on school related volunteering. I will happily donate money, but I am not in a position to donate my time. Funnily enough these committees would NEVER guilt trip parents who are cash poor to donate money they don’t have, so why they feel entitled to demand time from people who have literally none, is beyond me.

Frankly I couldn’t give a shit if the summer fayre didn’t happen - it would be far more efficient if we all just donated £20 and gave up on the whole debacle. Three months of unpleasant passive aggressive messages beforehand, about how the event CAN’T POSSIBLY GO AHEAD if we don’t get more volunteers, simply aren’t worth it.

The worst are the demands to make things to be sold at the fayre, which cost more to put together than they sell them for 🤯 Cut out the middle man and just donate the money to the school - saves time and wastage.

I know I’m being a Scrooge but honestly, it drives me nuts. You are not entitled to my time just because I send my child to get an education there.

This used to drive me crazy when I volunteered for the PTA. We were asking the same - half an hour. I mean your kids can help too so there’s no need to have to find someone to watch them. 30 measly minutes.
One summer fair was nearly cancelled but we got a few more volunteers last minute so it did happen.
What is irritating is those who say things like “I don’t really care if there is a xmas/summer fair or school disco and neither do my kids” (or whatever) but then say stuff like “St Rival School where my friends children go had donkey rides and a magician at their summer fair. It was marvellous….wouldn’t it be great if our school did something like that” 🙄🙄🙄

I don't volunteer because quite frankly I have enough on my plate already.

I hate the fact I feel pressured to even GO to the fair, which requires me to take time out of work, after already having to go to sports day, class assembly, parents 'evening' that has slots from 3.15 to 5 for goodness sake. It's a nightmare when you have a job, I don't understand what we are supposed to do.

Our school parents association works quite well, I think, because it’s very sociable. We have drinks evenings as well, so that means people are more likely to want to come and help out with x and y because they can do it with friends. And people know each other, so asking people for help is easier.

My DD is year 6 at a school with A LOT of PTA events …. They have an online sign up system that is accessed through the school website. Each stall is divided into 30 mins slots plus the set up / clear up slots etc. There’s a bit of chivvying via the class WhatsApp and weekly newsletter. I would take my DD with me for stints on a stall since they’re perfectly capable of helping. Otherwise either my DH or myself has done the stall and the other parent has taken DD off. We do have a big school and live in an area where the parents are very on-board with attending school events.

If there is anything that parents could volunteer for that they could do in their own time, you might get a better response. Like doing a couple of rounds for a parents quiz night or designing a poster or supporting the school leadership team to apply for grants or initiatives. I could fit that in easier because it's not having to be at a fixed location and a fixed time.

I think the volunteering that's requested from schools like 'come read with the children at 11am' or 'bake a dozen cupcakes' doesn't really fit with the realities of family life in 2023. Given how limited time is, I'd rather just donate the 20 quid rather than spend time baking after a long day at work.

THIS. I am volunteering to set up summer fair and chaperone the disco but only very reluctantly and because DH works from home he can watch the kids. Weird that you’re assuming every year 5 parent doesn’t have younger kids to think about?

I was SO up for helping with the Christmas fair - I started making stuff for stalls, costed them up etc (this was all asked for), then PTA woman was just like ‘no, someone else suggested THIS so do that please’….. I said ‘ok well whoever suggested that stall can organise it then’. So that left a bad taste in my mouth and, to answer your question, is why I don’t want to volunteer anymore.

Also a different PTA member works in the school’s accounts and knows they’re healthy. So said herself why not just have something fun for the kids for once, instead of shitty annoying ways to make money.

Literally scrabbling around for 50ps, £1s, providing jolly jars (literally have to buy jars in order to empty them to then fill with sweets to donate to school)….. i would rather just PayPal money.

The worst was ‘show us who you are day’ for the food bank… so parents had to organise their kids’ accessories to reflect their interests, and in exchange donate to the food bank. JUST ASK FOR FOOD BANK DONATIONS!!!!!!!

I am sick of it tbh. Just ask for donations instead of all the rubbish events.

Not really - hardly around as my kids go to breakfast and after school club daily. Have to do everything via the class WhatsApp groups

I think you've answered your own question; they have busy lives and don't want to volunteer their precious spare time to help at a school event. Plus those who martyr themselves to the cause moaning about lack of help hardly inspires others to want to muck in.

Maybe you should consider taking a step back as this is clearly getting to you and it must be affecting the enjoyment you get from volunteering. I'm sure you've made a big contribution to the school, but you don't have to keep doing it. As they say in the gambling ads, when the fun stops, stop.

I think they just don’t want the commitment, or want to stand around drinking pimms or something, I don’t know.

Maybe this attitude is showing and it doesn't win hearts and minds?

I work full time and am being leant on to support school PTA events, scouts and brownies. Sometimes parents have a lot on that you might know about.

The PTA at our school are a small group who have bullied people out if they don’t agree with their ideas which frankly are appalling and in some need of some new life.

If you don’t fit their clique you’re not allowed on the committee and yes sooo much huffing and self importance at any event. I’m afraid I’m of the give £20 a year and be done with the events opinion.

My friends school however does a great job and raises in one event what ours does in a year so I suspect my opinion has been skewed.

The events are not the most enjoyable. Some of them I don't really go in for...Halloween, valentines disco for 4 year olds.
I have volunteered and also baked various things. There was literally no recognition. I'm not saying it matters to everyone, but the absolute lack of gratitude for the time people give up doesn't make everyone want to do it again.
We also have cliques at our school who only speak to others when they want something or there is no-one else in the playground. It can leave people feeling used.
I've done nearly 10 years, I'm very busy and I'm not sure the efforts are worth it. I'd rather transfer £20 via PayPal. I know it sounds awful but it's where we are.
The culture of this type of thing arose when most families had a SAHP. Times have changed. I actually do a number of other voluntary roles and post covid, it is almost impossible to get anyone to do anything. Local community is changing.