To think he should take his own child to school?

[ApplesandOrangesandPears]

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

Further to it… what if part of the neglect includes beating or abusing the child? If someone were to report signs abuse the parents could say that it was you.

I'm guessing this poor new kid is supposed to walk to school on their own but would rather walk with someone else and they know where your child lives hence come to you.

Lucky OP doesn’t have a car and can’t drive, isn’t it?

😢

Wow the judgements and comments. Shocking. Has it been mentioned if the children are friends. Could the children have spoken and your child sort of said it's ok if you want to walk in with us? Just knowing what my son is like for inviting kids round without even thinking to consult anyone 😂 this dad may have just taken his child's word for it 🤷 stupid if he has but if he's come from the kind of community where this is the norm he may not question it. Just a non judgemental, trying to see all sides kinda comment

Did you not read the part of the OPs post that said she doesn't know where the child lives?

I'd be reporting this to school and social care, not even slightly responsible leaving a young child with a random family and no communication or agreement, really dodgy and needs further investigation.

Yes this☝️

School has been informed. I wonder what Monday will bring....

Mine has ADHD and has never struggled having friends to walk with to school. In fact, he is out with his friends very often and they are often dropping by and staying overnight.

Stereotyping much?

Are the parents from another country/culture? Something similar happened to a friend of mine. It was actually a slightly worse situation but I can't say as it could be outing for all concerned, but I think in some other cultures it's more normal to expect your neighbours to help out with the kids. (Bloody outrageous if you ask me!)

Thankfully so far socialising has not been a major issue for my child, that doesn't make their other struggles any less and it doesn't unfortunately make my mornings any less chaotic. Of course I am grateful for them having friends, but having friends doesn't necessarily have to mean having an extra child and extra pressure in what are already very difficult mornings and I'm sure the child probably doesn't find it comfortable being in such chaos either - which likely won't help my child socialise in the long run.

I’m quite annoyed at this thread. The problem isn’t a 7 year old is walking to school. Or the classmates parent is dangerous. Or that a kid wants to walk with a friend. Mom is already stressed and wants to continue walking in her little bubble to school on her timeline as she is corralling 3 kids. This is not a worry. Mom can stop being worried. Send the two ahead? Leave without the 7 year old as they are walking with a friend and continue onto school with the other 2 kids? Or just walk to school the sidewalk is public property if the classmate is there the classmate is there. The parent of the classmate knows they didn’t drop off at school and the child left their house on their own. If they don’t show up the school will call parents then police. There is an implied contract of care that the OP has made up in their own head and several commenters have made up in their own head. Different families have different rules. You don’t have to helicopter your kids classmate. The classmates parent can free range their kid. Thank goodness your adhd kid has a classmate seeking them out. Mom will be hoping for such things in a few years.

Not stereotyping I have such a child. No need for generalizations. We live it. Wait until they are teens. There is a difference between friendly behavior and seeking out people outside of mandatory events like classes, work and activities mom signed you up for. A kid knocking on the door is major.

Speak to the school. They will have a safeguarding officer it’s often the head or deputy hand they can then take it from there. If it needs reported to social services it’s better coming from them or social services won’t even take you seriously unless you know intimate details like GP, fill name, dob, name of parents etc.

Morally, I am not going to ignore a 7 year old who is knocking on my door looking like a deer caught in headlights - nor am I going to send my 7 year old ahead with said child because while other children might stop at roads and think mine wouldn't (and would also stop and talk to every single stranger they met along the way). So yes, I'm concerned about this 7 year old. I wouldn't call that helicoptering 🤨 I'm quite annoyed that you've stereotyped all children with ADHD - not every child with ADHD will struggle with forming friendships. Some will yes, but mine doesn't happen to be one of them.

Did you ever ask him why he comes to your house? Your child says his parents don't send him there; what does he say? Is it illegal for a 7 yo to walk alone? If not, then his parents really haven't done anything wrong - legally. They may not be aware of his stopping at your house each day. Maybe he just stops because he likes your son, maybe even you. Children often walk together with friends, and maybe that's all he's doing.

@Begratefulfor your posts are quite hard to understand, apart from the "be grateful anyone likes your kid" bit - a bit horrid, no? There are ADHD kids in my DC's circle and they have no problem making friends, they are all different people.

Aside from that, the problem with this situation is that the parents of this child never asked OP or never even introduced themselves - super weird - and, importantly, OP never agreed to take the kid to school. She should not be forced into this situation by strange and neglectful parents she never met, and should not be made responsible for some random child against her will.

You need to contact the school and social services it is a massive safeguarding issue and it’s a worry to what other neglect is happening

@ITryHarder OP said the child had no idea why they were dropped off at OPs home. Which is very strange in itself.

WTF??? Tell the school as this is outrageous. One of the rudest things I've ever read on here.

I thought children are not allowed to walk home alone until older, Y5/ Y6 - and only if parents formally agree to it. if this child is supposed to walk by himself, why they are not doing so? Also, the fact that they seem incapable of explaining why they appeared on the OP's porch suggests this child is not developed enough to be trusted to go to school alone.

I agree with everyone else saying that it's a safeguarding issue. Please go into the school with the child, and explain the situation to them. They can contact the parents and deal with it, it is not your responsibility to take a random kid to school, it's the parents responsibility!