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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unwell child can't go to school

91 replies

Jeclop · 21/06/2023 07:26

Hello,

Our son was up vomiting all night last night and can't go to school.

We have someone who drops our kids off at school but can't stay with them during the day.

My husband works from home and I have just stared a 100% office based job.

We have agreed our son will stay home with my husband today and if my mum will come and relay him when she can.

Up till here all well. Here comes the AIBU.

My husband had a Jujitsu trial this morning and it refusing to cancel it. In his mind either the girl who drops our kids off at school should take our unwell son to school and back or I should go in to work late so he can go.

I have said he has to cancel as our son isn't well.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
Weveforgottenwhoweare · 21/06/2023 07:29

Obviously your husband. This is not how being a parent is. He has to cancel ju-jitsu. Idiot.

fiftyandfat · 21/06/2023 07:29

He is. He can do his hobby at the next opportunity.

TeenDivided · 21/06/2023 07:29

Well it depends.

How easy would it be for DH to reschedule his trial thing?
How flexible is your workplace?

The person who takes you children to school can not take your DS with her.

Clymene · 21/06/2023 07:29

He's looking after your child, that was what you agreed. He needs to rearrange his hobby

DemBonesDemBones · 21/06/2023 07:29

So you both think that a child care provider or your Mum deserve to catch your son's vomiting bug so you two can carry on as normal? Sorry guys, time to be grown ups.

ChickenMacaroni · 21/06/2023 07:29

DH obviously

londonrach · 21/06/2023 07:30

The lady who takes your child ren to school can't take an unwell child. Either you or your husband has to be at home. No idea what jujisu is so no idea if important

Agix · 21/06/2023 07:31

Well, this is his son so he has more responsibility to take care of his sick son than the girl who usually drops them at school, so he's certainly being unreasonable there.

As for his trial.. is that something important? Does he have to go to qualify for a competition or.. something? Or is it just a session? Is it more important than you earning a mornings wage at work somehow?

Sounds like he is being very unreasonable so far.

Itsallok · 21/06/2023 07:32

londonrach · 21/06/2023 07:30

The lady who takes your child ren to school can't take an unwell child. Either you or your husband has to be at home. No idea what jujisu is so no idea if important

I'll give you a tip. Its not

redskytwonight · 21/06/2023 07:32

Depends how important the trial is ... if it's a trial to play for England, I would prioritise getting him there. If it's a trial to get on the team for his club and he can easily reschedule, then he should do this.

Original poster
Jeclop · 21/06/2023 07:41

Sorry for clarity, husband disagrees with my wording.
He has agreed to cancel his trial (again for clarity this was a trial session at a sports to club to see whether he wanted to take this on as a hobby - he has never had a class🙄). He is not happy I said he was refusing. It took a discussion and some convincing and him not being happy about it.

My point is, I am annoyed it even crossed his minding putting himself first.

There is a back story to this, but I have been the by proxy parent for 6 years. I have just gone back to work and I am still on a probation period. I could take a day off but have just taken time off for a few other emergencies and have this afternoon off. I can't work from home. My husband can continue working with our son here but has important deadlines / meetings he can't cancel.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeclop · 21/06/2023 07:42

His mind*

OP posts:
ButterflyOil · 21/06/2023 08:07

He’s unreasonable. He can rebook the trial, you can’t afford to keep taking time off when on probation at work, especially if you’ve already got this afternoon off! What we’re the other emergencies that made you have to take time off and what was he doing during them?

He’s honestly behaving pretty childishly here, it’s a trial for a hobby which, while i’m sure he was looking forward to it, won’t be the only chance he gets to test it out.

Hankunamatata · 21/06/2023 08:10

Dh needs to step up and cancel the class to look after dc.
Of course you can't expose the person who does your school drop off to vomiting child. You make them sick who takes kids to school?

Clymene · 21/06/2023 08:35

What a knob. It's his child too. Now you've gone back to work, he needs to understand that you are no longer the default parent.

Behindthelines · 21/06/2023 08:36

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Behindthelines · 21/06/2023 08:37

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Clymene · 21/06/2023 08:40

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WHAT A HERO

Hmm
Behindthelines · 21/06/2023 08:41

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CharlieRight · 21/06/2023 08:41

FFS I thought it was a team GB try out or something.

He is being unreasonable.

CalmYourThunder · 21/06/2023 08:44

Of course your husband is being unreasonable.

Fandabedodgy · 21/06/2023 08:45

He's needs to grow up. What an idiot.

PuppyMonkey · 21/06/2023 08:48

Ah, thoughts and prayers for the bloke missing out on ju-jitsu.

ChristmasJumpers · 21/06/2023 08:49

Are you saying your DH has already agreed not to go to the trial, but at first he tried to think of a way not to have to cancel? Once you pushed it, he realised he had to stay at home? Yes obviously it's annoying that he didn't immediately drop the jujitsu trial idea but obviously he was looking forward to it so tried to find a win win situation.

YABU for making a post about more or less nothing

Beezknees · 21/06/2023 08:50

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That's part and parcel of parenting! I'm a lone parent and I've had to sacrifice MANY things when my child needed me. It's what you sign up for.

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