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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset at friends lack of reply to this

141 replies

Princesspeachee · 19/06/2023 13:35

I'll start by saying I know people have things going on in their own lives too that they might not share, that affects how they reply sometimes.

Childhood friends, 15 years, been through all the milestones together, weddings, kids etc.
Lives get busy, so sometimes we talk daily for a week and sometimes a few weeks goes by but we know this. It's just adult life.

Anyway friend messaged me about a week ago to see how everything was going and to share some of her own frustrations (work).
I sent a couple of sympathetic messages back to her work problem, some suggestions on how to resolve something and let her know that it's been a hard time recently as my mum had been diagnosed with cancer.

She replied to the messages regarding her work but not the one about my mum. I didn't think much of it at first because she could have got busy and put her phone down etc.

As the days have gone by though I've become more and more irritated by the lack of reply, I can see she's been active etc. I wasn't looking for sympathy but I was having a bit of a wobble and needed a friend to talk to about it. Tbh I'd have been OK if she'd have put a sad emoji to the message and nothing else. I think it's the lack of acknowledgment.
It's been over a week now and nothing but plenty of other social media activity etc.

I know i am way to emotional at the moment to message her with how upset I feel. I'm also hesitant incase she has something going on and I upset her and make her feel worse.

So aibu to have expected some sort of reply or acknowledgement?

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 20/06/2023 22:23

Sorry about your mum

i clicked on this thread thinking your 'friend' hasn’t responded to your message at all

the replies and responses she made are unacceptable

appreciate the 'rude' comment will have upset you. Please block her and spend your time and energy looking after yourself

Fruitjellies · 20/06/2023 22:28

I think people don't know what to do or say and have a bit of a mini panic at news like this. Especially over text message.

I'm in a similar position to you right now and I've got some absolutely amazing friends who are checking in, supporting me and generally doing whatever they can. I've got other friends who never ask how I/ mum is and actually actively avoid me. It's surprising who is actually there for you when the chips are down.

Just be sure to remember who.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 20/06/2023 22:52

Well done your husband!

She is truly unbelievable. What a complete and utter bitch. You will be SO much better off without her.

SheSaidHummingbird · 20/06/2023 23:04

Husband's response:

"Yes, taking OP to the doctor first thing tomorrow. She actually believes that her mother's health and wellbeing is more important than your nail appointment... She's delusional. Batshit crazy. Following BBC News for updates on your manicure. Stay strong."

Zonder · 20/06/2023 23:29

Well done Mr Princess Peachee!

Frogmila · 21/06/2023 00:28

Both block her. She's not all there. You can't reason with her. Keep those who matter close.

Coyoacan · 21/06/2023 00:57

I sometimes miss messages when I'm not concentrating

ImustLearn2Cook · 21/06/2023 04:52

SheSaidHummingbird · 20/06/2023 23:04

Husband's response:

"Yes, taking OP to the doctor first thing tomorrow. She actually believes that her mother's health and wellbeing is more important than your nail appointment... She's delusional. Batshit crazy. Following BBC News for updates on your manicure. Stay strong."

🤣😂🤣😆Best post ever!

@Princesspeachee Hope your mum gets well soon. Better late than never to see your friend’s true colours.

UsethisUsername · 21/06/2023 06:34

Coyoacan · 21/06/2023 00:57

I sometimes miss messages when I'm not concentrating

You seem to miss updates too! Honestly the amount of posters who don’t read updates is crazy. It’s moved on from the original post, quite significantly!

YoucancallmeKAREN · 22/06/2023 13:36

Maybe a text asking her to replay the last conversation in her head and tell her when she does that she will find the answer. I really hope she is on her and has seen this thread.
Thoughts and prayers sent your way x

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 22/06/2023 13:47

Every update you posted OP, my jaw just kept dropping and on the last one I screeched out loud (in the office; on lunch)! I'm absolutely gob smacked at this 'friends' behaviour! You are well rid. What an absolute bitch! (I wonder if she's the one having a breakdown?!)

And your OH is an absolute LEGEND!

red78hot · 22/06/2023 14:01

Wow, just fucking wow! I'd be blocking the insensitive entitled selfish cunt.

Beautiful3 · 22/06/2023 14:28

I'm so sorry to hear the bad news about your mum. It will be hard for you all. I'm honestly gobsmacked at your friends behaviour. I cannot believe she thinks you're the bad guy here?! All she had to do was acknowledge her poor behaviour, and say sorry for the way she's been acting. But it's escalated to the point of no return, right now. I honestly cannot understand her right now. Your husband's a superstar for fighting your corner. I'd block the ex friend on everything, because there's no way you'd move past this.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 22/06/2023 23:26

Fruitjellies · 20/06/2023 22:28

I think people don't know what to do or say and have a bit of a mini panic at news like this. Especially over text message.

I'm in a similar position to you right now and I've got some absolutely amazing friends who are checking in, supporting me and generally doing whatever they can. I've got other friends who never ask how I/ mum is and actually actively avoid me. It's surprising who is actually there for you when the chips are down.

Just be sure to remember who.

RTFT!!!!!!

Princesspeachee · 23/06/2023 19:12

Oh she is blocked don't worry!
She got blocked that night.
My mum has also had to block her too as she started messaging her!
And you can probably guess but not a single mention of my mums health in any of those messages either.
I think her messaging my mum has pissed me off the most.
Hopefully I will never hear from or see her ever again.
Sorry for the silence, I didn't get any notifications that anyone had posted for some reason so ive missed some comments.
Maybe she is the one having the breakdown as a PP said, if she is I hope she gets the help she needs but it certainly won't be coming from me.
Sad to lose any friendship but looking back I'm not sure how much of a friendship this actually was and I'm glad it's come to an end now. I can focus on what's important and hopefully make better friendship choices in the future.

OP posts:
StarbucksSmarterSister · 23/06/2023 19:30

My mum has also had to block her too as she started messaging her!
And you can probably guess but not a single mention of my mums health in any of those messages either.

Oh my God. Bloody, bloody bitch.

💐 For you and your mum.

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