Vegan given butter in restaurant

[Loveanavocado]

Went out for dinner this evening with dd’s.
dd1 has been a vegan for years. The rest of us are vegetarian, although I’m verging on veganism too tbh.

we went for dinner this evening, to our local. We often eat here and know the staff really well. So they know our dietary requirements.

this evening we ordered a dish and were all eating it. The waitress came over laughing and told us it had butter in it!!

dd1 was horrified and began to get upset. The waitress took the dish away and went to the kitchen. She returned and said “the kitchen are making another but they’ve got cross with me and asked why I told you it had butter in it!’

this has infuriated me!! Firstly given butter when told vegan. But even worse..told by the waitress that the kitchen would’ve not told the customer it had butter in it!!

AIBU?? What if dd had an allergy????

my dd2 has severe allergies (has had anaphylaxis a few times now!) so how am I ever going to trust them now??

I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to make a fuss as it’s our local in a very insular community

Take your custom elsewhere?

They do seem to have a worryingly lackadaisical attitude towards allergens.

Will the waitress be laughing while a customer has a full on anaphylactic attack ? ‘It was only 1 peanut’

As a vegan, for just health and ethical reasons, you are unlikely to suffer ill physical effects from eating dairy products.
As a Muslim or Jew again you are unlikely to be physically harmed by unknowingly eating pork.
But in both cases you may well be upset, disturbed and angry.

Whilst amount of butter is unlikely to cause upset I have read that an about turn in diet - a vegan eating a full on meat dish can cause discomfort/stomach ache/toilet woes.

Complain

As a family with dairy allergies I would be fuming. It’s more the waitress who seemed to find it funny rather than being shocked. If she hadn’t realised and ran over saying stop that has butter added to it I could almost let it go more but the laughing (albeit it could be nervous laughter) would tip me over the edge

Well wait staff absolutely do also fuck things for allergies too.

I'm allergic to avocado, and made this clear when ordering a salad (why does EVERYTHING have avo these days?!). Not in an asshole way, just in a "I need to check because I'm allergic" way. Did that mean the same waitress about 30 mins later thought to tell me the chocolate mousse was vegan and made with AVOCADO? No it did not. This was a small-ish place and not busy <<shrugs>>

I think that if you pointed it out that you were vegan it's pretty outrageous they served you butter, and I would complain. I think it would be an easier case if it was labelled on the menu as vegan - I'm not sure if this was the case? - but yes, not good at all!

"What if I had an allergy" but you don't though do you?

That is the problem, people with REAL problems are being over looked because people like you think everyone should indulge your every fad and whim.

The hospitality industry cannot be expected to remember every person that is going through a phase and all their commands and demands. What a shame for people with genuine food allergies because they are being massively trivialised because of people like you. The butter wouldn't of killed you, just be thankful for that and stop thinking the world cares about your chosen crusade of the day.

I think it comes down to the chef tbh rather than the waiting staff.

Some vegans I know would find consuming any animal products just as painful and horrible (but mentally rather than physically) as other people find physical pain and sickness from suffering from allergic reactions to eating certain foodstuffs.

Fucking hell. 😂

The shark has been well and truly jumped, now.

So many questions!

Why put butter in a veggie pasta dish? Sounds rank.

All of op's family were eating it - a single portion? Who was it ordered for?

Where are all these strident vegans who won't shut up in emma's life? I'm a silent vegan, I quietly order and it's always the meat eaters that make a massive hooha about it, take the piss, make out like they should sneak some meat into it blah blah blah.

Veganism is a protected belief. It gets the same respect as religious beliefs in the workplace etc.

if I was served butter in a dish, depending on how much, I would be severely I’ll afterwards. It would be an uncomfortable night on the loo.

to everyone saying “it doesn’t matter”, ok so op’s daughter isn’t allergic, but what if they do that to a person that is allergic. If it’s labelled as vegan, it should be vegan. Not might be vegan.

The people who trivialise allergies are not vegans.

The people who do trivialise allergies are those who claim to be gluten free but decide it's unimportant when they realise their favoured menu option contains gluten, and order it anyway.

The people who trivialise allergies are those who come in with a long list of bullshit "allergies" where they're not actually allergic to mushrooms or coriander etc, they just don't like them.

The people who terrify me when it comes to allergies are those who don't mention their allergies - in some cases, even when explicitly asked. It's happened to me, the customer ended up in anaphylactic shock because they didn't mention their peanut allergy even when asked, ordered something containing whole peanuts, and ate the lot.

Staff who think feeding dairy to a vegan is hilarious and not an enormous fuck up are the same staff who get lax with allergens and ultimately end up killing someone.

People do die as a result of restaurant cock ups - for instance Megan Lee (age 15, peanut allergy, takeaway workers were imprisoned for manslaughter), Shahida Shahid (age 18, milk allergy, fed milk by restaurant staff), Owen Carey (age 18, milk allergy, fed milk by Byron Burger staff), Celia Marsh (age 42, milk allergy, suppliers cross contaminated an ingredient with milk).

If these were my staff they'd be getting something between a final written warning and a P45, because the attitude is toxic and could end up killing someone.

I agree it’s appalling op. The mistake bad enough and the attitude terrible.

It’s unlikely a tiny amount of butter in a pasta dish would have an effect but that’s not the point - if the dish is advertised as vegan then it needs to be. I would complain and I wouldn’t go back unless they convinced me their attitude changed.

It sounds like someone in the kitchen (new member of staff who doesn’t know you and your daughter’s preferences?) who made a genuine mistake and the waiter had the decency to come and tell you about it, and your DD got a vegan dish in replacement.

Im not sure about the laughing, could have been nervousness?

I’ve been vegetarian for over 40 years and have eaten meat or meat products a few times accidentally, and there have probably been times when I didn’t know. Eg stock or gelatin, or non-vegetarian cheese. Mistakes happen, It’s no big deal.

Your daughter has a food preference, not an allergy, and probably needs to dial down her sense of entitlement a bit.

Did your daughter actually order the presumably non-vegan dish to be served as a vegan dish, or was it just assumed that the staff would know?

In the end it was a small mistake which was corrected with no harm done. No drama necessary.

Oh noes not butter!

It was corrected after the waitress laughed and the kitchen sent out a dish they knew was wrong then grumbled about collecting.

*correcting

It’s very childish that some people dislike veganism so much, that when restaurant staff laugh about the wrong meal being given and say that they should have lied to the customer about the meal, they pretend like this isn’t an issue at all. 🙄

If vegans stopped whinging so much and weren’t so sanctimonious then people would take them more seriously.

I was vegetarian for ethical reasons for nearly 20 years and was twice unknowingly served meat.

I was a bit shocked and pissed off as it happened but ultimately, it was a mistake, it's not your fault, there's no harm done and all you can do is move on.

Your daughter's not allergic to butter. She ate a tiny amount of it. Move on.

Trading Standards?

Veganism is relatively rare. Vegetarianism is pretty common. Dairy intolerance/allergy is relatively common.

That means that a significant minority of people who pick the vegan option in a restaurant are doing so because dairy makes them ill (or in one case on this thread, makes their bf baby ill).

Short of asking everyone "allergy or preference?" which I think is useful but which many ethical vegans get snippy about, all vegans should be assumed by restaurants to be dairy intolerant/allergic until proven otherwise.

Veganism isn't rare at all where I live.

Is it marked as vegan on the menu?

I would make a direct complaint to the restaurant but don't ruin them by posting anything publicly, over one incident. And just don't go again.