To love my dogs as much as my kid?

[passioninthisworld]

Okay rationally, I know that if I had to choose between saving my dogs or saving my kid, I'd choose my kid of course. But wow, do I love my dogs.

I've had cats in the past and dogs growing up and sure I've loved them and been fond of them but these two are honestly like my children.

They're very small dogs so not sure if that makes a difference as they can be 'baby like' but I honestly feel the same way I did with my daughter when I was bonding with her.

Pure pride, contentment when I'm with them. I still feel this way when with my daughter but she is getting into the teens and is quite moody and sometimes just doesn't seem to like me very much. My dogs are always happy to see me and they keep me company when my daughter is out or at her dads for the weekend.

I just love them so much, I get this fuzzy feeling when I look at them and they've honestly brought me soooo much joy the past year and a bit.

It was hard in the beginning but now that they're all trained they are just lovely.

Does anyone else feel this way about their pets? Is it normal?

Adore my pets. Love them unquestioningly. I prefer animals to people undoubtedly.

The pets I often like more. And am on the surface more tolerant and patient with (pre-teen in this house and a lot of attitude some days.)

But.

Nowhere close to how I feel about my DC.

I'm not nearly as proud of their achievements. Invested in their futures or worried about how the world will treat them.

If one died suddenly I'd of course be devastated. But I I'd get over it.

If my DC died I'm not sure how I'd keep on living.

The pets I often like more. And am on the surface more tolerant and patient with (pre-teen in this house and a lot of attitude some days.)

I wonder if this is what people mean - I definitely see how you can like your dog more 😂 when the kids are stroppy and demanding despite having the world at their feet and the dog is delighted because you say let’s go for a walk!

I think both my mum and my dad did. But to be honest I was never hurt because she was the most gorgeous, sweet natured angel. I don't blame them.

Actually I have felt this.

But.

I think it's due to the simplicity of a pet dying.

When I lost my old girl a few years ago I was absolutely heartbroken. She was a rescue, she'd had a hard first couple of years and I was the first human she ever trusted or loved and she loved me with all of her heart.

We'd had 15+ wonderful years together. With only love and good feelings.

When she was put to sleep I wailed. I cried on and off for days. I was so sad. And so full of loss and sadness for the love we had for each other.

I have also recently lost a parent.

It was a long gruelling illness that took them. I sat by their bed for days at the end wishing the struggle would be over for them. Even though really they should have had 20 years more life to live.

I was of course and still am sad.

But I had so much to do afterwards. Sort the funeral, finances, look after my other parent, be a parent myself.

Untangle our sometimes tricky relationship in my head.

The sadness was and is so different as there's so many other emotions and things involved.

Animal relationships are so pure and uncomplicated. It makes it easier to grieve but I also think that simpleness makes it easier to just feel that overwhelming sadness of the loss.

I can't (or won't allow myself to) feel that with my lost parent. There's too much to do and cope with and untangle.

I spend more time with my dog than my DC, but they are older. I like spending time with my dog and it brings me happiness. I sometimes think I do love him more, but I think I just respond to the fact the dog is more dependent on me than the DC now. I'm fairly certain I'd be very upset if something happened to him, but since dogs have a shorter life I fully expect to lose the dog one day. If anything happened to my sons I would be devastated because I expect them to outlive me.

As a happily childfree person, I get it. I love my dog more than anything & have never wanted a human child. My sister- who has a son & 3 dogs- loves her human & fur babies more or less the same. Pets are wonderful 💕

I love my old rescue dog to a ridiculous extent. I’ve only had him a year and I already think about how sad I’ll be when he dies.

However, it’s incomparable to how I feel about my child or partner. You just can’t compare the two as it’s, obviously, completely different.

Certainly normal to like dogs more on difficult days 😂 but it’s easy to love a dog isn’t it? They don’t ask for much and provide unconditional love, no matter what you look or behave like. However actual human relationships take effort and people talk back!

I assume this is a lighthearted comment but, as others have said, please don’t mention it in front of your child.

Seriously YABU. I don't even know if I quite believe you. Your dog is very cute though!

Same here.

The dogs are a VERY close second to the children.

I love my dogs but nothing even compares to the love I have for my daughter.

I think my username says it all really.

I get you, OP. Obviously I love my children a gazillion times more than my cat, measured by the fact that I would put them first before anyone and everything, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. And I really enjoy their company and think they are generally great humans.

But they don't bring me the pure, uncomplicated contentment that my cat does. In my secret heart, my cat is the thing I love coming home to.

I don't think it's odd.

I know what you mean Op. I adore my children and love my dogs.

When I am away for work I miss the dogs and rush home to see them, but suspect that’s mostly because I receive endless texts and calls from the DC and I worry the dogs think I’ve abandoned them (with DH and the DC - I’m their favourite obviously 😂).

That being said, I am more than happy to leave them for 2 weeks with our wonderful dog walker to go away on holiday - something I’ve never done with the DC, so maybe that says it all 🤷🏻‍♀️

I find that attitude actually quite scary. Your dogs just look like any other ratty small animals that shit and sniff around. Your dd is a precious individual that you birthed and raised. The fact that you put equal worth on both is shameful.

What a nasty, vicious reply

But other people’s kids look like everyone else’s kids, whereas your own are wonderful and special to you.

You might not see worth in the dogs, but they’re not yours. The OP loves them, which is entirely normal. I do think it’s a bit odd to equate dogs and children, but your response was completely unnecessary and nasty.

My dog actually shit in my house way less than my kids did to be fair to her.

Still just couldn’t compare the love for my babies with love for a dog! But she certainly wasn’t any more disgusting than my kids 😂

Uncomplicated..That’s what it is. V underrated quality in a relationship.
.

I love my goats and they sort of respect me most of the time. But there is no way they would put me before their kids and they wouldn't expect me to put them before my children.
A human animal relationship is so unequal and humans have all the power. You make all the decisions on food, exercise, play, being together etc and you then dismiss them into their basket or tell them to go away if you are busy. They reward you with a fawning loyalty that can be seen as endearing but is based on a power dynamic. To even compare this with love for your own child is weird.

When I was a teenager, no boyfriend or anything. Just a small circle of friends and a family who I got on well with, our family dog was really important to me as a source of emotional bonding/someone to love me unconditionally etc. Then as I got older, the relationships of actual close humans became more important to me eg DH. Then my children. We have thought about getting a family dog through the years. But now they are off to uni etc, then a dog is restrictive. I want to be able to go and visit those human children whenever I like, without a dog to restrict my deciisions. Because the children come first.

So whilst I realise how important a dog is to your life, I just don't understand the love being equal to your children.

No-one thinks that rationally in those situations though. You go by instinct and whoever your heart yearns to save.

I love my dog as much as my children as the love I have for all of them is exactly the same, Dog is a third child to me. If I had to give him up to care for a sick child with a disability long term and the dog didn't fit in or I couldn't cope, my child would come first in that scenario.

My dog died really unexpectedly a few years ago and it was genuinely so much worse than a family member’s death would have been (as harsh as that might sound, the only way I can describe it)! I cried every single day for months. People who don’t have dogs don’t realise though and because it’s ‘just a pet’ you’re expected to just go back to work the following day and act like everything is fine. You live with your dog and spend every day with them. This wouldn’t be the case for more distant family members that people would be understandably upset if they died but you’d get way more sympathy for this than a dog who you spend 24 hours a day with. I think you either get it or you don’t though!

I hate the whole ‘dog mum’ thing as if it’s some sort of joke or runner-up prize to having a child. I have a child too and I wouldn’t consider myself my dog’s ‘mum’, more like a best friend! 😂 The language around it all is as if the whole thing is a big laugh though and you shouldn’t love a pet that much. I love my child and dogs just the same but my child does take up far more of my time than them at the moment and I always feel guilty that they don’t get enough of my time now we have a toddler

And this is why dogs are better than the majority of people, because unfortunately, some humans have arsehole attitudes like this one, dogs would never leave a comment like this, they are just pure love and uncomplicated goodness. How dreadful to be the kind of human that has thoughts like this person. Give me a dog any day 😂

@passioninthisworld I think I understand this, I wouldnt be shocked or surprised if someone said this to me.