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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To love my dogs as much as my kid?

107 replies

passioninthisworld · 18/06/2023 17:59

Okay rationally, I know that if I had to choose between saving my dogs or saving my kid, I'd choose my kid of course. But wow, do I love my dogs.

I've had cats in the past and dogs growing up and sure I've loved them and been fond of them but these two are honestly like my children.

They're very small dogs so not sure if that makes a difference as they can be 'baby like' but I honestly feel the same way I did with my daughter when I was bonding with her.

Pure pride, contentment when I'm with them. I still feel this way when with my daughter but she is getting into the teens and is quite moody and sometimes just doesn't seem to like me very much. My dogs are always happy to see me and they keep me company when my daughter is out or at her dads for the weekend.

I just love them so much, I get this fuzzy feeling when I look at them and they've honestly brought me soooo much joy the past year and a bit.

It was hard in the beginning but now that they're all trained they are just lovely.

Does anyone else feel this way about their pets? Is it normal?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 18/06/2023 18:51

YABVVU. Please don’t ever say this, even lightheartedly, within earshot of your actual children. Please don’t call your dogs your babies or your children. I have spent decades feeling that I am not worth any more than the dog to my mother and it hurts. A lot.

ThisIsACoolUserName · 18/06/2023 18:51

My MIL told us recently that she was more devastated when her fog recently died than when her mum died.
Dogs give an uncomplicated, doting, pure kind of love that you can't get from most humans.
My uncle was an excellent dad to his 2 kids, but describes his dog as the 'live of his life' and, without question, gets more joy from the dog than the kids.
Makes sense why some (but not all) people may feel the same as you, OP.

moderationincludingmoderation · 18/06/2023 18:53

Dont love my dog more than my child.. but I have been taken aback by how much i love her (the dog).

Srin · 18/06/2023 18:59

If this was actually true, it would be weird to admit it, even anonymously online, so I assume it is light hearted. Dogs are easy to love because they provide unquestioning adoration to whoever feeds them. Teenagers are trickier.

coeurnoir · 18/06/2023 19:00

Instead of manufacturing a hierarchy of who is most loved, why don't we all just be grateful to have such love in our lives? Husband, kids, pets. It all enriches life.

Before the inevitable who would you save from a burning building - most of us would leave it to the professionals because random people going into a burning building is only likely to result in more people to rescue.

funinthesun19 · 18/06/2023 19:00

bridgetreilly · 18/06/2023 18:51

YABVVU. Please don’t ever say this, even lightheartedly, within earshot of your actual children. Please don’t call your dogs your babies or your children. I have spent decades feeling that I am not worth any more than the dog to my mother and it hurts. A lot.

This

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 18/06/2023 19:03

I think what it really is is that a relationship with a dog is a pure thing. They just love you unconditionally, warts and all. There's none of the complications you get with any kind of human relationship. Thank goodness for dogs ❤️

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 18/06/2023 19:04

It's not more or less, just different and that's fine.

Donotunderestimateme · 18/06/2023 19:04

I’ve worked with a person who claimed to love their dog more than their child. Even if it was a joke I found it distasteful (and not convinced it was a joke) and always think that people who prefer animals to people must be really controlling because you have control over an animal that you don’t have over another human being and obviously they can’t answer you back and tell you that you are wrong.

Donotunderestimateme · 18/06/2023 19:06

Perhaps my view is coloured by the fact that my parents really did prioritise their animals welfare over mine and my brother’s

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 18/06/2023 19:07

I love my dog so much, not as much as my daughter, but I love her a lot.

She is so cute and daft and always happy 😁 and she gives fabulous cuddles.

devildeepbluesea · 18/06/2023 19:10

coeurnoir · 18/06/2023 19:00

Instead of manufacturing a hierarchy of who is most loved, why don't we all just be grateful to have such love in our lives? Husband, kids, pets. It all enriches life.

Before the inevitable who would you save from a burning building - most of us would leave it to the professionals because random people going into a burning building is only likely to result in more people to rescue.

Exactly what I was thinking. I just don’t get this need to make loving a competition. I love my dog and I love DD. In different ways, but that doesn’t make either love less valid.

Nw22 · 18/06/2023 19:11

I prefer dogs to people. When my 18 year old dog died I was devastated and couldn’t even look at photos of him for years without crying.
i have a dog now. I love him differently as he’s more like a baby to me but I love him more than or equally to people I love.

BigButtons · 18/06/2023 19:12

I grew up with dogs and am not fond of them as a result. My mothers dogs were badly behaved and pampered. Mg mum preferred them over me I think because she could control them whereas I was not playing ball.

35965a · 18/06/2023 19:12

Unhinged. Even as a joke I find it really weird and distasteful. As another said don’t ever say it in earshot of your actual children.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2023 19:13

Dogs give us unconditional love. We give our children unconditional love.

Maybe you prefer being loved to loving.

Kanaloa · 18/06/2023 19:13

No, I never have. I loved our dog a great deal and was heartbroken when she got really sick and had to be put down. But I don’t think it would be comparable to the agony of losing a child. The love isn’t comparable.

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/06/2023 19:15

Redebs · 18/06/2023 18:36

No it's a revolting attitude.

Oh do fuck off dear.

Its perfectly normal that humans feel maternal instincts towards their pets - we know that we produce oxytocin when we get a pet and have to look after it (well most people do), and they need our care and attention, its a big responsibility etc etc.

Is it identical, no, of course its not, but it is similar, it is comparable, and it is why dogs are dogs, because we can respond that way to them. If we didn't, then dogs would never have evolved into what they are now.

So it has been normal for around 40'000 years.

To prioritise your dog to the detriment of your actual child is not normal, it is also not what anyone is talking about here.

And pets are often easier than children, and so far easier to like at times!

KingOfThieves · 18/06/2023 19:17

I love my dog and relate to some of what you describe but I don’t think anything comes to the way I felt when bonding with my baby.

bakewellbride · 18/06/2023 19:18

I don't get this at all. The love for a child is unconditional so surely completely different in every way?

Nw22 · 18/06/2023 19:20

@bridgetreilly i think that depends on the person. I have no problem with my mum loving her dogs as much as me. They live with her so why wouldn’t she be close to them.

bridgetreilly · 18/06/2023 19:21

I have no problem with my mum loving her dogs as much as me. They live with her so why wouldn’t she be close to them.

Because they are dogs and you are a person.

Roselilly36 · 18/06/2023 19:21

I loved my dog,but the love I felt when my babies arrived, cannot be compared.

Twiglets1 · 18/06/2023 19:24

passioninthisworld · 18/06/2023 18:29

What's not to love about that little face

Er… beauty is in the eye of the beholder ya know

Twiglets1 · 18/06/2023 19:25

35965a · 18/06/2023 19:12

Unhinged. Even as a joke I find it really weird and distasteful. As another said don’t ever say it in earshot of your actual children.

Or the dog in case they get complacent

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