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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To love my dogs as much as my kid?

107 replies

passioninthisworld · 18/06/2023 17:59

Okay rationally, I know that if I had to choose between saving my dogs or saving my kid, I'd choose my kid of course. But wow, do I love my dogs.

I've had cats in the past and dogs growing up and sure I've loved them and been fond of them but these two are honestly like my children.

They're very small dogs so not sure if that makes a difference as they can be 'baby like' but I honestly feel the same way I did with my daughter when I was bonding with her.

Pure pride, contentment when I'm with them. I still feel this way when with my daughter but she is getting into the teens and is quite moody and sometimes just doesn't seem to like me very much. My dogs are always happy to see me and they keep me company when my daughter is out or at her dads for the weekend.

I just love them so much, I get this fuzzy feeling when I look at them and they've honestly brought me soooo much joy the past year and a bit.

It was hard in the beginning but now that they're all trained they are just lovely.

Does anyone else feel this way about their pets? Is it normal?

OP posts:
Buildingthefuture · 18/06/2023 19:26

Don’t have DC so my opinion probably doesn’t matter! But, god, I LOVE my dogs. They are far nicer than most people I’ve ever met! The opportunity to take a dog that has suffered at the hands of some unfeeling, uncaring fuckwit and show them how life really should be? It’s a privilege ❤️❤️

whumpthereitis · 18/06/2023 19:31

Love is very…nebulous. It’s as defined by culture as much as it is by biology.

Interestingly, in regards to the ‘who would you save?’ question, there was a study done on it. Participants were asked who they would save if they had to choose between their mother, partner or child. The majority of those from China and the Middle East chose their mother. The majority of those from the USA chose their partner. The majority of those from Europe and India chose their child.

BananaSpanner · 18/06/2023 19:32

My Chihuahua also acts like my baby, just wants to cuddle me and sleep on me all the time. Follows me from room to room and stands outside the toilet when I go like when dc were toddlers. She is like my 3rd child 🥰 but deffo love my real kids more!

Xmasbaby11 · 18/06/2023 19:35

I’m bit horrified when people say this and hope they don’t mean it. Pets are animals at the end of the day and I don’t think you can compare it with the love for a human. I have 2dc and a cat. I love my cat, totally adore her and she brightens my day, but she’s just a cat. I wouldn’t risk my life to save her. If she dies, we’ll be sad and miss her but will get another one. Totally not the same with children.

XenoBitch · 18/06/2023 19:53

Donotunderestimateme · 18/06/2023 19:04

I’ve worked with a person who claimed to love their dog more than their child. Even if it was a joke I found it distasteful (and not convinced it was a joke) and always think that people who prefer animals to people must be really controlling because you have control over an animal that you don’t have over another human being and obviously they can’t answer you back and tell you that you are wrong.

You think people who prefer animals to people do so because they want to control something?

Fucking hell.... your comment is exactly why I prefer my dog to 99% of people I meet.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 18/06/2023 19:58

Relationships with animals are much easier than with humans. I get the warm and fuzzys too.

Sometimeswinning · 18/06/2023 20:14

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/06/2023 19:15

Oh do fuck off dear.

Its perfectly normal that humans feel maternal instincts towards their pets - we know that we produce oxytocin when we get a pet and have to look after it (well most people do), and they need our care and attention, its a big responsibility etc etc.

Is it identical, no, of course its not, but it is similar, it is comparable, and it is why dogs are dogs, because we can respond that way to them. If we didn't, then dogs would never have evolved into what they are now.

So it has been normal for around 40'000 years.

To prioritise your dog to the detriment of your actual child is not normal, it is also not what anyone is talking about here.

And pets are often easier than children, and so far easier to like at times!

Show quote history

It's a bit shit though. We pretty much have a crisis of kids where parents are shit and put so many things before them. Education, new partners etc.

I've assumed the op is light hearted so I won't go on too much. But some of us are picking up the pieces of shit parenting. I wouldn't judge someone who found this thread in bad taste (it's not even true) So before you tell someone to fuck off dear try empathising a little.

JMSA · 18/06/2023 20:15

Hrrpy · 18/06/2023 18:08

I love my dog. Not more than my kids but more than my husband.

Poor guy, that's awful.

ThreeCoursesForMe · 18/06/2023 20:17

Yanbu, you're allowed to love your dogs the same as your kids although some posters will say you aren't! It doesn't lessen the love for the kids it just means you love your dogs as much as if they were human beings which is lovely

drpet49 · 18/06/2023 20:18

Poetnojo · 18/06/2023 18:11

Jesus no, I don't love my dog anywhere near as much as I love my children, and I would feel quite hurt if I thought my mother loved an animal as much or almost as much as she loved me

This

RunningAndWriting · 18/06/2023 20:20

My kids say they’d be disappointed in me if I didn’t love our dogs as much as I love them. 😅

No need for competition in our house. Happy people don’t need to rank their partner, kids, pets, family, friends etc in order of how much they’re loved. I need all the ones I love in my life.

ThreeCoursesForMe · 18/06/2023 20:22

Also its statistically proven that people who were abused as children or in someway affected by the atrocities that unfortunately only humans can inflict on them are more inclined to bond with their pets and find connection with animals in adulthood. Hence the use of therapy dogs etc but that's a whole different argument. Either way it's actually really offensive to suggest to someone that there's something wrong wrong them for prioritising love for dogs and pets over people, it might be the only pure love they've ever known. Not everyone has had the traditional loving upbringing where a dog has been just an addition to their household, humans can be horrific.

LobeliaSackville · 18/06/2023 20:22

Xmasbaby11 · 18/06/2023 19:35

I’m bit horrified when people say this and hope they don’t mean it. Pets are animals at the end of the day and I don’t think you can compare it with the love for a human. I have 2dc and a cat. I love my cat, totally adore her and she brightens my day, but she’s just a cat. I wouldn’t risk my life to save her. If she dies, we’ll be sad and miss her but will get another one. Totally not the same with children.

Humans are just animals as well.

ladygindiva · 18/06/2023 20:24

Hrrpy · 18/06/2023 18:08

I love my dog. Not more than my kids but more than my husband.

This is me too.

Beginningless · 18/06/2023 20:26

I have been amazed to notice that our puppy got soooo much more adoration from strangers than my babies did, I found that pretty weird. Before I had a dog I wasn’t much of a doggy person though and didn’t find them that loveable, now I am much more interested in all dogs.

I felt there were interesting comparisons in the early days of puppy life. This little thing trying to communicate with me in ways I didn’t understand, it took time to get to know one another. Also I found a very liberating difference in being able to hate the dog at times! So a bit different to you but I could rant about what an arsehole he was, still do on a bad day, in a way that I can’t quite let myself do about my kids…

NameChangeThreeThousand · 18/06/2023 20:27

Well!! Growing up I definitely loved the family dogs! I loved them a lot, they were part of the family. But I didn't love them as much as my family

I now have a 10 month old puppy. I like him a bit! He's becoming part of the family and one day (hopefully soon) I'll have bonded enough with him to have love for him. But no way will I love him as much as my kids. I couldn't ever love anyone/anything as much as them!

Right now though, my dog is a stinky, farting, pooping, hair-dropping, hyperactive ball of fluff that is sapping all my energy! I also really hate the man bits dangling out and the other things that happen down there 🤢 Makes me gag. So it's hard to imagine loving that all that intensely right now!

Greycheck · 18/06/2023 20:27

It doesn't even compare. I adored my dog and all my animals but they are animals and not my children. Massive difference in feelings.

Makemyday99 · 18/06/2023 20:29

I have dogs & I love them but nowhere near as much as my DC. If I lost a child I don’t know how I could go on functioning or how I could ever get over it but I’ve lost dogs in the past & I coped just fine despite loving them.

thaegumathteth · 18/06/2023 20:34

I love dogs and animals and was / am heartbroken when we lost our old spaniel last year but there's no way it's comparable to the love I have for my children.

CharlotteRumpling · 18/06/2023 20:36

I get what you mean. Dogs are always happy to see you. You are a hero to your dog. Meanwhile teenage children look at you like you are the dirt from their shoes.

HamBone · 18/06/2023 20:37

Atethehalloweenchocs · 18/06/2023 19:58

Relationships with animals are much easier than with humans. I get the warm and fuzzys too.

@Atethehalloweenchocs sums it up perfectly. Your relationship with your dogs is much simpler than that with your child.

I love my dog as well, it really helps that he can’t talk to me and he asks so little of me. Essentially, he’s the perfect yes-dog. 🤣

Austenland · 18/06/2023 20:37

No need for competition in our house. Happy people don’t need to rank their partner, kids, pets, family, friends etc in order of how much they’re loved. I need all the ones I love in my life.

This.

I have found people that are keen to tell you who they love more. aren’t very nice at all. They are so busy talking about it to prove a point, but don’t show much love at all. It’s all about themselves.

Silvergoldandglitter · 18/06/2023 20:40

God no way do I love my dogs like my child. I find it weird that people think like this.

NewNovember · 18/06/2023 20:42

That's actually quite worrying.

AnxDog · 18/06/2023 20:57

Sounds completely normal to me!
I had 1 DC and had no plans for anymore so when my DC wanted to get a dog i agreed although I'd never owned one before. Well I fell completely in love with my dog, she was my baby, I loved her just as much as my DC and I loved her just as much as my my DC2 when they came along unexpectedly 🤣 I never thought it was possible to bond with a pet in a similar way to children but I 100% did.
The only difference being my dog unfortunately passed last year and while I was devastated I did have to move on with life, I can't imagine losing a child and I could never compare that to losing a pet 💔

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