Would you judge

[notherNCuser]

Young professional couple in their early mid 20s engaged to be married, been together almost 4 years and in house together for over 18 months. We will both be under 25 on the day we want to get married.

Most relatives are happy and excited but had a couple of comments one about us being incredibly young and what’s the rush, another less kind saying we were trying to play grown ups etc

I agree it is young, no question of that. First of our friends to get married. But is it really too young? Paranoid now that this will be everyone’s silent thoughts and I don’t want that putting a cloud over the day!

• We have been cohabiting and our finances, credit scores are already therefore connected
• I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. We have faced difficulties together and seen the best and worst of each other, and communicate very well with a good balance of 50:50
• We understand the magnitude of the commitment that marriage is, and that it’s not all sunshine and roses
• Our parents were both slightly older having us so we would really like for them to be in their 60s whilst their grandchildren are young, rather than any older
• Biologically speaking I would prefer to have our child/children before I am 30
• We want to share a family name before having children, and although we earn equally it is an extra layer of protection for me should things go belly up

YABU - I would still silently judge you for being young and be raising an eyebrow over it

YANBU - age makes no difference

It’s totally fine.
Some people are dicks.

Sounds fine to me. I met DP at 29. Getting married at 33. I wish I'd met him sooner and married slightly younger!

I don't see why anyone would judge you for getting married at your age, and I think it's really strange that people are judging you. I met my husband just before I turned 18, we started living together three months later, got our first mortgage after a year, and got married the year after that, in 1980. We weren't particularly young to get married then and most of our friends who married at around the same time are still together. No-one ever suggested that we were too young to get married. We were both mature enough at that age to understand the lifetime commitment we were making and to take our marriage vows seriously.

I think you should ignore anyone who suggests you are too young and celebrate that you've found your life partner when you have. Many congratulations to you both.

@jane1956 A lovely picture-but I wasn't challenging your happy marriage. I was challenging your statement that posters on here have said that a long marriage "must be an unhappy slog"

@CurlewKate ah sorry miss read deffinately no a long hard slog as you say some on here think. Would love a delorian and go back and do it again very little i would change. Hope the op is as happy.

My parents got married in 1957, when they were both 26.
At that time this was considered to be quite "old".
They were married for 60 years.

At 25 I'd been married for 7 years already. Still together 25 years later.

Onelifeonly* Your opinion is very measured but I was interested in your comment about biology " brain isn't fully matured until 25 ". Then saying don't aim to have children before 30. It's very unpopular to say on mn but if biology should play a part in life decisions then it's important to know that female fertility goes in a steep decline after 30. Of course the vast majority of women have children in their 30's but if you are unlucky enough to need help, and no one knows until they try, it would be far better to have started trying in your 20's than 30's. Many people haven't met their life partners before 30 so that decision is made for them but in this specific case, of a long term relationship, advising to wait a few years, when they have stated a desire to have a family is bad advice.